So, I’ll say a little tonight. Rest of story in replies, typing on tablet, insomnia, waiting for diazepam to kick in. Thank you to any that read this. When I’m on a computer, I can share various LOL congruent information that have provided the intellectual information that lead me to be open minded enough to shift my weltanschung from pure materialism to the panpsychism of unity in fractalized intelligent infinity, forgive my negative associations with the term god (despite how infinitely cooler it is once you get to know whatever of it I can comprehend via this myopic chemical vehicle than The Edgeless One would appear based on hierarchical religious distortions and their idiosyncratic taboos, prejudices, and often fear or ostracism or torture based recruitment strategies), as very carefully transmitted by our favorite “ancient alien/Egyptian god”.
I would humbly suggest the 2008 Documentary Capturing the Light, free on prime, for some Confederation action, the 2022 DMT Quest free on yt to possibly elucidate some matters regarding consciousness, and NDEs, in general and in the blind since birth- the majority, while differing based on experiencer distortions, always seem to line up in some way.
I’ll say more about myself and my soulmate who remembers being living golden light and some sort of backwards kneed, six legged, grazer another time on the computer.
But for now let’s just say I was via fear and loneliness lead down a shadowy path for some time. Still while my synthnesia possessing love saw me as cold blue back at my most manipulative, I recently got a green aura! Albeit on psychedelics. But sober it’s turquoise now, so progress!
First ufos proven beyond doubt, some comfort in asking them for help, emotional succor at least. Revelations later. Comments, that I always came across, now don’t, linking to law of one. Every damn website. Click a few times, see religious looking words, run away like a reptilian vampire.
Finally read since it won’t leave me alone. Feelings. Green ray. Odd, sober. No enactogenic amphetamines or psychedelics. Wtf. Overpowering warmth in chest, replacing cold calculation. Replacing the void that desires endless consumption. Read all sessions in order.
4 ho met plus wim hof breathing later on. Partner of free will wants 4 aco dmt. Something compels me to seek the higher densities. Annoying pest trying to block way whispering ridiculousness. Cosmic flea, yes, yes, other self too, but parasite nonetheless. Gnashing teeth fractals, etc. I watch heavy metal music videos on purpose. It did not enjoy me enjoying it and laughing at it. Cyuka Blyat geh weg. I contact light, form conduit.
Partner of unknown density soul attacked. She reacts bad. Flea offers to take her over and remove all pain, reveals itself with cold and looking at cutie wolf Tikaani like snack rather than furry friend. I say this is not a good idea. I place my hand on her heart and visualize twisting violet of good memories and love. I know what flea is inexplicably afraid of, the thing that offers infinite energy and forgiveness. Conduit. Flea retreats. I ponder if this is negative cleverness, I did enjoy winning that “battle “ a bit too much, even if only conduit, it’s fun to scare the thing that thinks itself scary. It said, while in partner, force while positive gives option to vocalize. “Do not command me” I stated I wasn’t afraid of it and it stated emphatically via loved one’s vibration chords that I should be. Maybe alone, but something told me to gather some “friends” or one big friend of which flea is but a small part.
Little blinking lights of many colors, erratically moving on night walks. Calming presence. I ask if they can do anything to help world suffering even though free will obsession on their part. Super sto soulmate says that they say it will be as it will be. Fair enough little lights. I can receive feelings only so far, thick skull.
I later ask on another walk, addressing the confederation that even though it will be as it will be, if they can please at least, if nuclear weapons not disabled, prevent any information from being lost. I say no need for reply. Walk on. Foggy. Then ring of lights appears, golden light has crappy cell phone pic that doesn’t prove much if you weren’t there. And a big ball of light that moves across the sky and vanishes. Neighborhood talk online, the longer lasting lights. Only little friends before. I guess that’s a reply, but I don’t know what it means.
So many feelings, richer life, but unable to turn off empathy. Inconvenient, planet full of suffering. But I hate hierarchy, so guess I have to play nice now. And apparently all my thoughts and actions are uploaded to the cloud for life review. That’ll be embarrassing and a big disappointment. But even repeating third, at least I get to troll god by making it watch everything I’ve masturbated to!
Amo, little lights. Going to pass out now.