Dear wanderers,
This is my story of awakening as a wanderer with a background in conventional medicine. In these tumultuous times, let us stand together as one spiritual family and uplift each other throughout this shared pilgrimage on Earth.
BACKGROUND
I was born in a family guided by conventional secular values and strictly atheist beliefs. My parents placed a heavy emphasis on academic achievement and I spent the early years of my life fully devoted to achieving academic success, later graduating from medical school in conventional Western medicine.
During my schooling years, I was invited to join a Protestant Christian fellowship and went on to attend Protestant church services for eight years. While I enjoyed some of the teachings centered on the message of Christ, I felt that the orthodox Christian tradition offered little clarity about the true path of spiritual evolution.
SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
In medical school, I was constantly exposed to instances of physical suffering, debilitation, and death. This weighed heavily on my heart. I felt that the treatment methods used in Western medicine were rather crude, relying mostly on symptomatic suppression with pharmaceuticals and offering very little to address the complex causes of disease.
During one of my summer breaks, I happened to stroll by a quaint aisle in the bookstore and found some books about near-death experiences and past-life regression. The information found in the books presented an entirely different perspective on the meaning of life which was largely incompatible with the traditional Christian view. I began to question the limitations of orthodox Western religion and started to explore Eastern non-dualistic philosophies.
In the final year of medical school and later upon entering the workforce, I was under tremendous pressure due to the heavy demands of the profession and a medical system that was indifferent to the psycho-spiritual needs of both patients and medical workers. I grew increasingly disenchanted with the medical system. At the same time, I felt that my conventional view of the world was beginning to crumble and orthodox religion was no longer adequate to provide any form of real solace.
Eventually, I spiraled into a period of darkness as the illusions I once accepted as truth began to dissolve. It was in these shadows that I began to sense a quiet light guiding me toward a more expansive vision of spirituality — one that embraced mystery and unity. I made a bold decision to leave the orthodox Christian church to pursue my unique path of spiritual evolution, losing many friends due to this choice. I was drawn toward the path of mysticism, which focused on unity and non-duality. I also read voraciously and eventually discovered the books by Dolores Cannon and later, the Law of One series.
SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES/ CONNECTIONS WITH OTHER WORLDS
I was aware that I had certain spiritual gifts since young but these remained largely suppressed or atrophied due to the lack of social acceptance. After I left the orthodox church, I focused on doing inner work through meditation and contemplation, as well as writing poems about my spiritual journey. Poetry has been particularly cathartic in my journey of self-healing as it allowed me to consciously access the latent archetypes and motifs in the deep mind. These methods helped me to re-establish the connection between the physical and non-physical realms.
My dreams have also been an important bridge in helping me connect with other planes of existence. I had some dreams in which I was able to see my light body, which appeared to be an iridescent bluish-indigo shimmering body. I also had some dreams about spiritual beings communicating with me in a non-verbal manner in a realm that felt lighter and finer than our density. In addition, I frequently experienced many “gateway” dreams, in which I was shuttling through a portal or vortex toward a different realm.
Recently, I had an akashic reading which revealed that my place of origin is likely Sirius, which is known for its advanced mystery school teachings and healing modalities. This would explain the intense attraction I have toward mysticism and the feelings of familiarity when reading some works on mysticism. I find the Law of One series to be extremely compatible with mystical traditions. I also find many of the teachings from Ra to be deeply familiar, almost like a recapitulation of lessons I once understood with clarity but have been dimmed by the veil of forgetting.
CHALLENGES OF A WANDERER
As a child, I was rather precocious and seemed more mature than my peers, leading to a constant sense of being an outsider. During my schooling years, I often felt out of tune with people of my age group, having very little interest in worldly affairs and preferring solitude for contemplation. Later in life, I had little interest in domestic affairs and could not envision myself being bound by a conventional marriage. The ongoing sense of estrangement from my peers is the most difficult aspect of being a wanderer. The feeling of being a spiritual nomad uprooted from home and searching for meaning is excruciatingly painful. This is compounded by the fact that there is little interest from society about the type of service we are rendering. It truly takes the most humble and dedicated heart to continue on this path.
I often wonder why I experienced such an early awakening in my early 20s, which caused my path to diverge from that of my peers. I found this line by Ra “the patterns of activation of an entity of high seniority will undoubtedly move with some rapidity to the green-ray level which is the springboard to primary blue” to be particularly poignant as I sped through the first few rays, rapidly progressing toward seeking higher spiritual truths. At my age, it is difficult to adjust to life in secular society, where most of my peers remain in the conventional paradigm of work, religion, and marriage. In contrast, I require extended periods of contemplation and sometimes withdrawal from society to replenish my energy levels. I am still learning to balance my responsibilities in the secular world with my spiritual vocation, seeking wisdom and self-acceptance in every moment.
Family life has also been a particularly difficult challenge as my parents have no interest in spirituality and have little understanding of the special needs of a wanderer. I often feel isolated at home and do not have family members that I can easily commune with. I surmised that some wanderers likely incarnate into families with minimal spiritual awareness to understand the typical familial situation on Earth at this time in the hope of bridging the chasm between the densities. I do not think it is wise to alter the beliefs of my family members, choosing to honor and accept them as they are.
A POLARIZED WORLD
I am grateful to have discovered the Law of One series as it presents a framework for understanding the intense polarization in the world today. Without such a broad perspective, most people would likely be baffled by the increasing chaos as the battle between light and dark escalates. We are witnessing the stress testing and gradual collapse of every system of thought rooted in duality, such as partisan politics and orthodox religion.
To heal a divided world, we must embrace the interconnected nature of things and peer beyond the illusion of separation. Rather than beginning with religion, I believe that most spiritual seekers should start with philosophy, ontology, and metaphysics to establish a foundation for understanding spiritual truth. The Law of One is particularly useful in helping us synthesize philosophical and metaphysical ideas without the need for dogmatic or theistic beliefs.
From my observations, many people are experiencing some form of awakening, though not necessarily a full spiritual awakening. For instance, many of those in secular society are becoming increasingly aware of the control grids within our political, financial, and media systems. The flame of freedom and truth continues to burn brightly in the hearts of many.
The medical system remains heavily inclined toward treating the mind/body as a machine, showing little understanding of the mind/body/spirit complex. Changing the system may be difficult, but individual changes may be possible. I am heartened that many healthcare workers have undergone spiritual experiences and the light may seep in through these individuals. Currently, I am on a hiatus from conventional medicine and have not finalized any plans for the future, which remains veiled in mystery.
FELLOW WANDERERS ON THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED BY
I would like to express my love and gratitude to all fellow wanderers, my brothers and sisters of sorrow, who took on the immense responsibility to aid this planet, hazarding the veil of forgetting. On many days, I am world-weary and long for the comfort of home. Yet, I am constantly reminded that if we associate deeply with the true nature of being, love can be found in the moment.
I often use poetry as a method of healing the division between the conscious and unconscious mind and I would like to dedicate this poem to all wanderers on the road less travelled by. Being on Earth at this difficult time is a grand cosmic initiation into the mysteries of the universe on the long and narrow path to infinity.
Threshold
Lonely footprints belonging to
The centuries of wanderers
Line the overgrown forest trail.
Many have stumbled upon
The sacred path enshrouded in
The misty cloud of unknowing.
Many have followed the path
To the vine-covered gates,
Waiting at the threshold.
Behind the mysterious gate
Lies the entrance to eternity,
With admission via the heart.
Poets have entered the door
And found the vantage point
With the grand infinite view.
Mystics have ingressed silently
To dwell in the spirit’s shrine,
Emerging into the mystery.
Drawn by the enigma of self,
I now arrive at this gateway
After a trek through the mist.
My lone silhouette melds with
The figures of mystics and poets,
Converging into one presence.
For one with singleness of being,
Embodying the unity in infinity,
The narrow gate is wide open.
HOMECOMING
Like many wanderers, I often feel a sense of exigency about the current situation on Earth, as though a significant cosmic event is drawing near. I do not follow the ET/ UAP news too closely as most of the information sources are likely filled with distortions. I prefer to focus on the timeless and eternal path of spiritual evolution.
I do believe that we are in the acclimatization phase and once a larger collective of individuals becomes spiritually ready, disclosure or contact can happen on a public level. I am excited for our planet to move toward taking our place in the cosmos and reuniting with our broader galactic family. I would like to end with an adaptation of a poem I wrote about the longing for cosmic reunion.
Cosmic Sea
I gaze into the swirling celestial ocean
As the stars flicker like distant memories
And the cosmic tide whispers my name.
As the beams of starlight caress my tears,
I dream of a shoreline from whence I sailed,
Searching for a beacon in the void of night.
Above, the map of glowing constellations
Chronicles the journeys of ancient pilgrims
And star lineages inscribed in the heavens.
Starlight, starlight, rise above the fathoms,
Direct my sails through the restless waves
As I am set adrift upon the celestial swells.
When the waves are still and the tide recedes,
I moor my soul in the harbor of cosmic love,
Settling upon the eternal shore of belonging.
We are all vagrant pilgrims on a long voyage of spiritual evolution. May the arc of our sojourns through this world lead us to a place of genuine belonging where the wanderer’s heart may find repose. In this vast celestial ocean, let us be anchored in the constant love that can be found at the center of being.
With the love and light of our One Infinite Creator,
Louise
P.S. If my story resonated with you in any way, please leave a comment. As fellow seekers, let us be the light for each other in this sacred spiritual odyssey on Earth.