Everything makes sense

First of all I would like to thank everyone who made this possible. I got teary eyed just for the welcome messages… and knowing that I am not alone.
For a very long time, I wanted to share my story with others but afraid that I will get judge or be called as crazy-weird-witch. Please bear with me as I try to tell some of the highlights using the english language.

I had my downfall this year. You may call it depression, but since I am not clinically diagnosed - I will just call it my saddest moment. I was not eating properly. I stayed in bed whole day. I didn’t take care of my 1yr old baby. All I do is think and think what had happened to my life. It was all dark. Even breathing feels so negative to me. Until I had my wake up call. I dreamt of the person whom I met 20 yrs ago. He just appeared and then my dream ended. Usually my dreams are like that - short and “no meaning”.
A little story about that person:
He was my 1st year high school teacher that eventually became my friend until my teenage years. I remember when he was my teacher and I am the student, he told me, “I prayed for you to come… and now you are here…” He told me things which I couldn’t understand at that time (I was 12 yrs old) - about the sun, the light, the universe, free will and many “weird” ideas. Whenever we have time to meet, he will make me do some “exercises” like observing how people behave in a specific area, observing inside the catholic church, listening to the waves of the sea, feeling and imagining the sunlight in my body. At first it was enjoyable but eventually my mind told me to stop. My reasoning is that “I don’t want to be a weird person like him.” I do not remember the reason why we lose our communications but I think it was me who stayed away from him.

Going back to my wake up call, I think it was really like “waking” up. He probably appeared to my dream to tell me that I needed to “wake” up.
It was like I was renewed. I started to write again in my diary. I started reading again the book Power of Now. And this time, the meaning was something else. Like I understood everything as compared to the first time I’ve read it (like years ago). I started listening to Ekhart Tolle teachings until I discovered the Law of One.
I just started the session and honestly, some I find to be difficult to understand. But I do not find it “weird”… instead, I wanted to learn more.

Then a lot of events from the past rushed through my mind like I was being bombarded

  • Recurring dream of color wheel whirlpool and that I am being sucked no matter how I resist it
  • Recurring dream of being chased by a giant and that wherever I hide, he will still see me
  • My super power when I was a kid - I will pray under this big mango tree that if I come back here again (like 10 or 15 mins), I will find mango fruits on the ground. At first I thought it was like coincident so I tried it many times… And believe me, ripe mangoes will magically be there on the ground without any damage. Imagine it was a big tree where fruits were so high that if they fell on the ground, they should be with damage. I just realized it now
  • I used to hate my real name, I feel like I have a different name
  • I used to go on hiking, and whenever I am close to nature… it feels so good
  • My hands are usually warm, I remember my teacher told me that I am a healer
  • The first time I saw a firefly, I thought it was an angel because it was so beautiful, I feel happy while it was circling around me like I have my own halo
  • My eagerness to know God that I jumped from being Catholic to Born Again Christian and now I am married to a Muslim (I didn’t convert though but I tried to study Islam)
  • I had a 6yr relationship with a woman which I can say that I really had deep connection but I left her since the society is not so accepting.
  • Short dreams that shows door slightly opened
  • Flashes of lessons I have learned from the books I have read, The Alchemist, Road Less Traveled, The Little Prince, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Giver
  • One instance of going outside my body - I was just sitting in my bed, I closed my eyes, travelled to a tunnel with bright lights and suddenly I am in my classmates front door. I got scared and it confused me. Then again I travelled back to the bright lights. When I returned in my body and open my eyes, I was exhausted and I am out of breath like I run very fast.

Well, these are just some of the things I remember. Usually, I cannot remember the past. The events from the past are like dreams for me. But since I started the Law of One, suddenly the past events were being shown to me.

I still feel that me and my teacher will be seeing each other again here on earth coz he again appeared in my dream (or maybe he is here in the forum. Hmm.) And with that short appearance, he told me “You are very strong…”
And yeah, I am! and I will continue the journey on earth through a different perspective with a definite purpose.

Anyway, I apologize coz I am not really a good story teller lol. That’s probably how my mind and my body works now coz I wanted to tell more but my hand already hurts from typing. :slight_smile:
Also, I am not familiar with a lot of terminologies. I recently just learned about the term Astral Projection which I think, the one I have experienced.

I cannot wait to learn more.

I love stories like this. Any story that speaks to someones awakening. One thing that is always so special to me is how the nature of one persons awakening is always different from anothers. We all have our own ingrained beliefs that slow us down from seeing the ever present Oneness in every moment. I certainly can’t say I see it in EVERY moment. In fact, it’s usually when I am in the moment that I forget about it the most.

I think what that shows is that it hasn’t fully settled into my unconscious and there is still more work to be done. But it’s forums like these and reflecting that remind me to see the bigger picture again. It’s a constant practice that has to be slowly weaved into your being. When you can be in the moment AND see the Oneness…that to me is enlightenment. Perhaps your dream is your subconscious telling you to push past this concept of being “weird” and to just be yourself. Worrying about weird might not be serving you anymore.

The Ra Material is a really challenging text because it is so multi-layered and carefully worded. Eventually, the pieces sort of slide into place and a bigger picture of the cosmos and beyond is revealed. Keep at it, you’ll learn everything you need to learn, and something tells me you already know so much!

Your message made me smile. Thank you so much.
I agree with you that everyone has their own version of awakening but somehow the feeling that we have felt are all the same. It really felt good like it is our birthday! lol
And yes, the weirdness I have felt is gone But still, I feel different I am around my family, especially husband. :slight_smile:
I tried to open up, share some of what I have experienced… but I only get the “you think too much” response plus the look of “what happened to you?”. And so I have learned just to be “normal” and maybe someday, the thing I have shared to my husband will ring a bell to him.

Actually yes, I had to read the glossary of the book so as to understand some of the words that I found hard to understand.

Again, thank you. And to our silent readers. :heart:

Okay,to Ronin AND Anon(I love that name btw,its weird…;p) first of all what an beautiful interaction between entities and their thoughts and stories: Of the tete-a-tete we waltz from our chosen veil to that honey sweet, voluptuous moment when we,yet again in our particular carnation, have awakened for the “first time”. Lol it makes me shake just thinking about it.
Anon,I get it sister. In this life we are surrounded by so many people,especially these days (There are over 7 billion people on Earth,and counting) so almost everyone is always at least within walking distance of each other and everything we do,say, and yes,to such an vast extent even think and feel is constantly scrutinized,ridiculed, critiqued by people who we never met for more than twelve seconds or maybe haven’t even met at all! That weight I was typing about earlier amixed with the simple fact that we just don’t know the world around us (We actually do but there are indicators that speaking to you with those requisites of understandings/distortions will not result in,shall we say, “balanced understanding” at this particular time/space) leaves us loss and feeling like we aren’t enough,no matter what we do nothing is good enough.
Have you ever felt that way Anon?
there is a term I want you to become familiar with that Ra (An hive-mind of people from the planet Venus a couple billion years ago) uses and that’s called “The veil”. Basically what “The veil” is just what we say when referring to the school-of-thought that when we are born we forget everything about our past existences prior to coming out the womb.

Wanna know what makes “The veil” so important? Its because we are constantly bombarded with daily responsibilities:We have school, a wife,a husband, a kid,bills,a boss,family,“What am I gonna cook today?”,“Honey did you pick up the dry cleaning?”,“What are we gonna do for our anniversary?”,“My son likes cheese on his broccoli, but my daughter likes it with ranch”,“Who should I vote for president?”,“What’s the weather forecast for today?” etc etc etc etc and it just goes onnnnn and onnnnnnn and onnnnnn and onnnn.

This is why even when being an active seeker its so hard on this particular planet,because us as people we have two obstacles and achieving both of them is almost an act of the divine: That is 1.We have to actually penetrate the forgetting process which usually doesn’t happen unless someone “comes upon” the material and/or documents that effectuates this result (That’s actually NOT how it works but there are indicators that speaking to you with those requisites of understandings/distortions will not result in,shall we say, “balanced understanding” at this particular time/space). And TWO we have to after THAT have to decide what we are gonna do with this new found knowledge whilst deciding what we need to pick up from the store…its madness! And it doesn’t end sister. Don’t you agree!!! Haha

But guess what Anon,can I tell you a secret?
You are loved, and everything you went through as a kid wasn’t because you are crazy (Well maybe a little crazy because I don’t how you went from Catholic to Born Again Christian to Islam…so yea you’re a little crazy. But we love crazy lol :slight_smile: ),all those visions and experiences,even your trauma,it happened so that you could come back “home”-home to yourself,home to your fellow brothers and sisters,home to God. So whether this freshman highschool teacher is here or not there are plenty of people who will say “You are strong” and when we say that I want you to say “Yea…I am” like you did last time. Sister,I personally welcome you. Unfortunately I cannot pretense as though your walk is one that has an ending destination even when you reach mastery or “all your questions are answered” but I praise God that you are at THIS stage,because…well…I think it’ll be a special time for you.
Inshallah :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Ronin,thank you for lifting her up.

I get that you still feel different around family and especially your husband. These people have seen a certain side of you for so long. The thing about the past is that it is relatively unchanging. There is a tendency to look at people as they were in the past and not who they are now. As you change and grow through this journey you’re on, there will be an adjusting period for all involved. But this could be a catalyst for you on your path.

The Ra Material encourages you to live what it teaches. This will have a sort of ripple effect and the first people to feel it will be your husband, family, and friends. The trick to being STO is really mastering your inner self, balancing the energy centers and then living in line with that balance, which becomes easy when you know yourself. Prior to that point (which is really an ideal) we have to sort of try to fit within the life we built for ourselves before our awakening. In my experience it is a very uphill battle to try and share what I know to my loved ones through any method other than living it. In some cases I would even describe it as detrimental to being of service to force a way of being on anyone. It’s when they see what you’ve become through living the process that you start to stir something inside of them, and provoke questions that could begin/reignite their journey.

Maybe others have a different perspective and I would love to hear how others work with those who have no interest in this kind of material. This is something I am working through myself which is why I can relate to your story. I’ve felt your frustrations and I hope everything works out for you in the end :D.

~Love is the law.Love under will~ Yesiiiiiiiirrrrr

You know, this world is truly like a pressure cooker just waiting to burst. We/I all are in the best and worst of times and everything just blazes around us. So many of us will/are not enjoy/enjoying the “fruits” of this moment we/I are sharing in history. When I/you step out the door I/you literally can’t feel the “essence” of anything we/I talk about…its all just job,girlfriend,food,sex,and sleep. Its only when when I/we am/are alone that I/we feel the “spirits” and the “energies” and allll this flowery shiz. Nobody CARES. And there’s nothing I can do…all I can do is be good and,maybe,hope that someone is watching and feeling what I feel everyday:This love for them,for you,for this world that is almost physically inciting.Everyday when I walk out that door…all the crazy shiz I see and its like I just want them to feel what I feel. Its so…UGH! Its like having a gazillion dollars,which is so much more than I need so hey,let’s give some to people but I can only give as much as these guys ask for and here I am with alllllll this money and these jokers come to me one by one asking for a quarter,two dollars, fifty dollars…makes absolutely nooooo sense. I don’t know about y’all…but I incarnated in a very selfish environment so these people only want what they want then they’re gone. Its not fair. And it makes me feel like a failure. Why am I even here,flipping burgers all day WASTING my time smelling nothing but grease and generic cheese for six hours and I can’t even reach one person. I have to be better than this,stronger,more.

~Every man and woman is a star ~

People are on their own path.Its not my/our job to “change” any of them.But you know that,don’t you?
You know that they make the choices that they want to make,even if it hurts them. How long are you gonna beat yourself up because you failed to “force” something.lol My son,who do you honestly think you are. You want to be God so badly but you don’t even penetrate what it truly means to be AN god,much less God its self. You like free will right? You like waking up and choosing what you eat at Wendy’s right? You like your Baconators? Youre large fries and chili cheese hotdogs? Well why can’t everyone else. See what I mean? That’s what I mean.I am but a reflection of my creation. They take what they do from you because that’s what they need/want at that particular time. My question to you is why can’t you be satisfied with the fact that you were able to give them that “small” amount? That’s what I want to know. You are not meant to save everyone,or anyone at all really.You are here to guide,not teach.One day whether you see it or not,they all will understand what you understand…and feel what you feel.And you will see it,they may not know it at this time but you know it and one day they will too.All you have to do is wait…wait baby…wait…with a smile on your face.And I love you,if no one loves you I will.

Now get your ass up and go to work,your five minutes late and don’t forget to give someone a smile on your way there.

Yes and most of the time it is like that. So I usually just hide myself from people whom I can say “do not understand me better”… I am an introvert so imagine how am I dealing with this extended family in our house. lol. And apart from that, we usually have visitors in our house. This culture is really something else.
Although, I tried to think of them as blessings… because why not. Day by day I am learning to love them… the culture… the language… their messed up family tree…
But ofcourse, there are days that I wanted to have some “peace” of mind… so I am shutting my door… not caring about them.

Yeah, I have read this veil of forgetting. Hmm… What if I have chosen this family? Let that sink in my head. lol

Thank you. I feel special and not “weird” anymore. Hahaha.

Well… it took me awhile to grasp this. That no matter how detailed I explained, they really couldn’t get it. And I ended up being defensive after they tried to prove me wrong. lol

So, yes! I agree with you and I will continue to live by forgiving…accepting and loving this people. One day, their hearts will be opened. :slight_smile:

Oh… well my environment is so religious that they wanted me to convert to Islam. I heard a lot of feedback from my husbands relatives… questions on why can I not accept…
And looking at this scenario, I thought to myself that I am also doing the same.
“Forcing” them to believe me so they can “change” their so called way of life.

And yes, we are here to guide. And that “ONE DAY” will come.
Thank you for all your words… It felt like a pat in my shoulder. :slight_smile:

Wandering:My sister,my heart,my other self first of all thank god you understood all of that cause I was thinking you were gonna be confused as hell lol but you got it…and not only that Im just glad I was able to help.

In parting I want to welcome you an second and final time.

Sister listen to me:You be strong okay? Be strong for yourself,your husband and your kids and last but not least be strong for those who will need YOUR guidance,whether they will realize they need it or not.As I was saying in my example-rant being in a crowded population creates a lot of input so we dont have the attention span we use to have tens of thousands of years ago so forgive them. Forgive your people for not having penetrated as well as you have in this particular incarnation. You know…what you may find in your path as the years progress is that whilst it may be hard and nigh impossible to harmonize the totality of the “Truth” with individuals you may find that people will be receptive to lessons on Love and lessons on acceptance as opposed to re-educating lessons on “God”.You may find in your future/present/past that your inroad numbers will be higher with people there.

You are apart of a very strict culture but I sense that you are at peace where you are and that personally gives me solace so I send you blessings.

It was an honor/duty to have met you in the third density sis and Ill see you again in this life or another,in this density or the other.

Have fun

Hello wanderingsoul, it was a joy to read your story! I connected with it very deeply, as I also found the Law of One during the darkest time of my life. It changed my life forever, and I am delighted to hear it has done the same for you. I can also relate to your experience with devoutly religious people. In the early days of my awakening, I became good friends with an Evangelical Christian, and I attended church with him, thinking that even though I was not a Christian, that they would see me as a spiritually dedicated person and would accept me as I am. I would go over to his house many times, and made good friends with his family. They were impressed with my passionate seeking for God and with my great desire to be of service to others in the name of universal love. When they found out I had become of this orientation through the Law of One and other spiritual channelings, they became horrified. It was their belief that any channeled material that was not the bible was influenced by the Devil, and that I was a satanist for not accepting the path to God they wished to offer me. I tried very hard to convince them that my way of seeking was valid, that there have been more positive channelings than just the bible, and that although I would not choose the path of Christianity, I was certainly not a satanist and I did not worship evil. Although their son, my friend, accepted me as I was and did not judge me for believing differently, his parents would not accept me as such. We would debate many nights, trying to prove ourselves right and the other wrong, but nobody would budge. After meditating for great lengths of time seeking for the right thing to do, I eventually came to the understanding that I could not intellectually win them over, and that even if I could, it would be an infringement on their will to not know my way but know their own way. At this point, our debates would be one-sided. They would try to convince me that Christianity was the only way, and I would humbly disagree with them, and express to them that although I cannot offer them my conversion, I could only happily offer them my own love and acceptance for them. At this point, they debated whether they should banish me from their home and prevent their son from seeing me anymore. Although it was painful to experience this, I worked very hard to keep my heart open and love/forgive them unconditionally, no matter the outcome. To my surprise, the next time I saw them they apologized to me for all they had said and done. They told me they searched through many biblical sources to find how best to respond to a person like me, and they ultimately concluded that although they did not agree with my way of seeing, they would open their home to me and welcome me with open arms. To this day, they welcome me with hugs and wishes of love, and I still have a great relationship with my friend. I’m sure your situation may be much different from mine, but I hope my story will help you to remember the power of love and accepting others as they are. You do not have to agree with someone to love them. They may or may not offer you that same all-forgiving love, but it is of no import and out of your control. Who you are and how you love others are all that you are responsible for, and great things come to those who love with a patient and graceful heart. I wish you all the strength and fortune in your spiritual seeking, and I hope you are learning a great deal as the days go on. Every situation you find yourself in is richly pregnant with the lessons of love!

Your story is such a great example of this. I’ve really been trying to see if other people found difficulty when it comes to the intellectual sharing of the material. I don’t think it is always futile, as more recently I have had some success as I get better at communicating. But what you did in this post is exactly what I believe to be the best way to spread the message. When you loved/accepted/forgave them unconditionally they began to seek answers and eventually settled on their own forgiveness and acceptance. Beautiful story!

Thank you for your kind words, I love your story and explanation as well! It’s nice to hear from others who have encountered these same struggles and learned that difficult lesson. Though it’s also nice to hear that you’ve had some success communicating the Law of One. Do they come to you asking about it or do you somehow bring it up spontaneously in conversation?

It was a difficult lesson but it was sort of through this trial and ERROR process that I eventually learned what I was doing wrong. At the core of it is Free Will. From this process I’ve learned that I can tangibly, physically feel when I have broken someones Free Will. Looking in their eyes helps a lot. I’d be talking and they would be taking things in and then at a certain point it shifts energetically. I had to actually reflect on those feelings. It took me some time to finally settle on the foundation of it all which was Free Will. So now, when I break Free Will, I stop and begin to sort of wrap up what I was saying and move on in the conversation. Sometimes this comes down to a failure to properly communicate on my part. Other times it’s a lack of interest or a conflict of their belief system.

Some people will do that to you. But not everyone.

So my job is in the restaurant industry, pretty low key line cook, unassuming but generally likeable and social. But my real job, as a Wanderer, is to increase the Polarity of the Earth towards the higher vibration, or 4th Density STO. So this is what I’m really doing (I’m a Gemini by the way so I’m used to living the Double Life). To do this I start with Astrology as a gateway to connect people to their spiritual selves, and then probe a little bit to gauge receptivity. I ended up garnering a lot of interest in my Astrology. I was offering about 2000 word readings for free, since I was still learning. I ended up doing about 8 reading and getting about 13 charts for the employees that worked at the restaurant.

From an initial reading I can get a pretty good sense of where they are on their spiritual path. Certain people would stand out to me as being more receptive, and so I was able to narrow my focus a bit. Basically, I started to really get to know the people I worked with. I even started making pretty good friendships. There were certain people I couldn’t really ‘go there’ spiritually with, and that made me sad. I had to grieve for the souls but also recognize their Free Will to do exactly what they are doing. I also had to Accept and Forgive myself, knowing that an attempt was made, while not closing the door on future attempts should the opportunity arise.

Other people started popping out to me as being potentially open to the Law of One. I would sort of slide in talk about Meditation and I would weave in certain ideas and basically await the seeking. What you want is to evoke the questioning process, where they are the ones asking you to explain something. That can be really hard to do as there has to be genuine interest within the seeker/student to ask questions. Not to mention the “teacher” role needs to be present, knowledgeable, clear, and concise in their communication.

I have had 3 talks with people I work with about The Ra Material, where I attempt to give a synopsis of its vastness. Two of these talks were mildly successful but at a point I would feel that feeling of infringing on Free Will and knew I wasn’t explaining it as well as I could have. I’m still close with those 2 and maintain a dialogue about these things but it wasn’t the revelation moment I was after. Again, accepting and forgiving myself for impure communication. All in all positive experiences that got me closer to these people.

The third and most recent person I had a really great conversation with. I gave him a great account of The Ra Material, he was receptive and asking questions and I was communicating well. At the end he played an Alan Watts motivational video that he listens to and it was striking how similar our messages were, just said in a different way. So the talk ended in a wonderful synchronicity which I think is a great indicator of a special moment, and I could see a sparkle of interest and wanting to know more. This is something I’m actually only realizing now writing this. It puts a smile on my face :).

Living the Law of One has undoubtedly shifted the catalyst that comes my way. I’m not perfect but sometimes the imperfections lead you to places you never would have gone otherwise, and have experiences that wouldn’t have come to you in any other way.

I’m glad I can share this story with you. :slight_smile: I actually hesitated to even share this at first. But anyway, what do I have to lose? Lol. This actually is a blessing for me. You don’t know how I wanted to have the freedom for talking this “nonsense” without being judge or misinterpreted.

I can relate to this. My husband even told me that I am an Atheist for he thought that I am not talking about the same Allah that they were worshipping. He even dare me that if I am an Atheist, it would be the end of our marriage and he would divorce me. Lol.
Looking back at this situation, I would 100% agree with Usernamewho that people are not really receptive in re-educating lessons on God. In fact, it will always result to argument (base from my experience).

Well, I am glad you have that kind of a friend. :slight_smile: My best friend back in college is completely the opposite. She’s a Pentecost. An active worker of the church (like really hardcore). She gave up schooling coz she felt that it is ruining her service for God. So one time, I had a talk with her. I told her to not give up finishing college and try to make her realize that school is also a ministry.
What happened next really shocked me. As she goes on mentioning that she really had this burden of me converting to their religion coz she wanted be to be “saved”. And that if I will not convert, I will go to hell. Lol. And the “old me” argued of course. Told her that I accepted Jesus and how dare her judging me and even telling that I will go to hell. And that ends our friendship. Never talked to her since she left college. She’s now a pastor by the way. :slight_smile:

Right. Actually, I have a lot of things to contemplate on. Thank you for this.

Exactly what I wanted my husband to react when I first tried sharing with him. Lol. I expect too much. Eventually, we just learned to respect each others orientation. He was born Muslim so imagine how the teaching has been implanted to him for a very long time. And I am a religion hopper. Hahaha. Born as a Catholic, a catechist, ex member of Legion of Mary – converted to Christian Baptist, Sunday school teacher, an active church worker – and now married to a Muslim.
We surely got a lot of differences but – he believes in Astrology. Would you imagine? I didn’t argue with this although I know that Astrology goes against Islam (except for Sufism I think). But I use this to get his interest. At least we can share something rather than talking about cricket matches. :slight_smile:

You are so perfect on this! That we are not perfect. I always remind myself this. And always forgive myself whenever my “emotional and impatient” switch goes ON. It happens.