Synthesizing Carla and an NDE

Regarding a line in A Wanderer’s handbook

Carla wrote something to the effect of polarizing was like gathering materials to build an abode, I’m not finding the exact wording as that tome is 900 pages, but some sort of edifice, in “heaven” or timespace or somewhere. And once I watched a man describe an NDE that took place in a cabin built or at least changed by various actions in countless lives.

This isn’t that story, but does not a hot cup of cocoa or perhaps another originally South American drink such as mate de coca sound amicable? It’s cold out, so come into a cabin I have built to hear a tale both tall and short- a paradox that will be resolved presently. You better come into my cabin, your free will, but Krampus is still about! A being “I” spoke of in a recent thread intended to help increase understanding of some basic concepts at play. So open your eyes and seek shelter, as our minds dance together.

Sometimes fact is better than fiction, sometimes fiction better than fact, but a coyote once mindspoke to me that often a blend of the two can teach best, and that some say that everything possible exists and so to not worry too much as everything can be truth, in some way. Then it grabbed my cat in its jaws, turned into a skinwalker werebeast, made a yipping laugh and ran down the road faster than the refresh rate of my eyes could see. It wasn’t my favorite cat though, it clawed one of my eyes out once. But that gave me some degree of wisdom and now I go to outlaw biker conventions and cosplay Wotan or Odin. Given the political leanings of many, this gets me a lot of free beer.

There once was a man. His biological father was tall, broad-shouldered and ruggedly handsome. His father bedded many women and often bragged about this at Thanksgiving, with his beard encrusted with bits of meat and his tank top that said “bikini inspector” soaked in Guinness beer. This made his father’s wife feel bad, but she dared not say anything when he was in one of his moods.

Now this man was kinder than his father growing up. He loved non-human animals, especially ferrets and platypuses. He had many childhood friends and though he did not feel belonging with his less than stellar, even though their atoms too were made of stardust, he did feel some belonging at least. DNA forensics did not yet exist, and so there were many serial killers in the area. He and his friends played in the woods and often bonded over poking dead bodies with sticks. They also played sportsball and almost put out their eyes with Red Ryder BB guns.

As he hit puberty desires for other sorts of play and connection struck. But he grew up short, thin-shouldered yet pudgy in all the wrong spots. He developed a frightful affliction of acne, which left him pock marked in later life. And a dead bear he was poking was not quite dead, and so he lost his nose and a leg as well. Needless to say say his desire for this new sort of connection was like searching for an honest person in a pile of politicians. And he lacked the wisdom to look for a blind woman.

He found work at a gas station. Which ended after an incident with a cigarette he was smoking.

His father, who he greatly admired despite the neglect, called him a failure, not a real man, a likely communist eunuch, a dingleberry, and every other vituperation and invective and even racial slur in Anansi’s Anansi - Wikipedia favorite dictionary, Webster’s. The racist stuff was weird because he and his father were European American, but much about his father was odd because he was known to drink entire bottles of Robitussin even when he did not have a cold and used gin for mouthwash but the common wisdom was that one spat out mouthwash. With such a filthy mouth, his father required much mouthwash.

Oh and the son’s growing personality complex regarding the acquisition of romantic fodder was much exacerbated especially when his father screamed, veins bulging, nose red enough to light a sleigh’s way, that his son was a British cigarette and one of those was no son of his- the son’s mother was beaten for imagined infidelity even though the father’s motto was hardly semper fidelis whether engaging in amphibious assault or not.

The young man lost his friends. Mostly not because of his appearance. The light in his heart had dimmed, only the slightest flicker remained. While the fire in his belly grew into an inferno. He felt entirely alone. He felt pure rage towards the world. Anger was the only thing that kept the fear, depression, isolation away. When he was angry, he felt powerful. He liked to hit kittens with his cane just to hear their vocalizations of agony. His job at this point was an exterminator, killing was fun, whatever it was.

It is the nature of fire to consume and so that is what the angry, crippled, deformed man did. His weakened physical form made taking coitus by force impractical. So he developed quite the collection, on Betamax and vhs, of the most violent and degrading pornography and even paid the Colombian he procured the powderized gasoline for the fire in his belly for some snuff films. He consumed everything sugary, fatty, and salty. Washed it down with everclear.

Soon the man developed cancer of every organ. Every organ.

He was sent to the hospital. He cursed at the doctors and spat on the nurses. Who thought the behavior was due to the brain cancer. It was not.

He reacted badly to a medication and flatlined. Some stuff happened, there was a tunnel. Strangely, his pain was gone and he could think much clearer and more expansively than ever before.

Eventually he found himself in a verdant meadow. Everything felt as if it was alive. Every tree radiated meditative peace. The clouds formed into anything he thought of and it was neither hot nor cold. And he could fly. Odd.

“Please come to the cabin in the center of the valley by the shimmering rainbow stream…” he “heard” something like a voice say in his head. The warmest, most inviting, voice ever though not identifiably male or female.

Inside the cabin a fire was roaring, but this fire was white and created rather than consumed. The logs of wood were most fascinating. Many cracks and swirls of grain in more colors than the man knew existed. The more closely you looked, and eyes were entirely unnecessary to see here, the more detail. Infinite detail.

“Hello son”, his father’s voice said verbally.

The man looked and for some reason his father was standing in the cabin. He was drawn to his father, who said, verbally again, “I love you, son” as they embraced. An impossible peace calmed the flames of anger and the black hole in the man’s chest became a star.

“You are definitely not my father!” the man cried after something like an eternity.

The entity claiming to be his father now transmitted ideas, complex and wonderous, telepathically.

“I assure you I am. I am also every grain of sand, every duck, every tree, every bit of oxygen, every kitten, every tyrant, every freedom fighter, I am the victor and the vanquished, I am the living and the dead, I am music, laughter, pleasure and pain, I am your dreams, I am time, I am the very stars themselves, I am present, past, and future.

I have appeared as the portion you call father and things less loving to present something you can understand and give you the gift of a father’s love.

If you evolved from something like a jellyfish and communicated by changing color, this would be different. Welcome home.”

“Okay… what’s up with the cabin?”

“You built it over a great, great period of time. Every minute crack in the living wood is a lifetime, every detail a decision, or event, a love or hate lost or gained…”

“Who are you, really?”

“I am. You are. We are.”

“What!? And why is my body so cra p?”

“You planned and picked it. Also in most human incarnations you were female.”

“Well, what do you look like, really?”

“A light that would blind you if you drew too near.”

The man thought of really dark sunglasses and then he was wearing them.

“It doesn’t work like that, you have much to choose and learn. Sorry, you’ve got to go back for a bit.”

The doctors had injected him with adrenaline, put him on a prednisone drip, and shocked his heart.

The hospital was crowded because a supposed curative, prophylactic was being pushed that was causing all sorts of problems. He was moved to hospice.

There he met a beautiful woman who was in the same room. Both enjoyed the morphine drip and became chatty. She was dying of kidney failure.

She died a few weeks before him.

A few days later, he received flowers with a card. It said, “Thank you for making the last month of our daughter’s life bearable. She was always shy, I’m glad she made a friend in the end.”

When the man died, he though melded with another shifting fractal of light.
“You here from Earth too? Condolences, that one’s really tough right now… want to play 4D chess?”

I can’t resist saying it, but the whole life on this planet is, strictly speaking, a near-death experience for most of the people.

Life is the process of dying. At varying rates. The individual is also not a static thing, nothing really is I suppose, more like a river though many other analogies could be made.

I’ve always looked forward to dying personally, provided I use a painless method, of course… even if it turns out to be non existence. Not like I’d be around to be bored in not existing. I actually tried to strangle myself in the womb, but stupid doctors, ya know? Unfortunately I seem to be preternaturally immune to a nice long rest from excessive mixtures of narcotics etc. last time I tried that I had the strangest visions. Something won’t allow it. Yet. Oh well, if I get too tired of suffering, there’s always the American way. Guns. Hahaha.

How interesting LSDMTNT, this tale ( or ‘real’ :wink: )
A little synchronicity. it so happens that I had a child who was in a light coma for thirteen years, his last twelve days were in a small hospice clinic for seniors. He was sharing a room with a quite older man who couldn’t talk, due to a heart attack. The day my son passed away, after he stopped breathing, a nurse had drawn a curtain between the two beds. And when the nurse left me in the room, the old man managed by leaning out of his bed, to draw back the curtain, and finally looked at me, he had tears in his eyes, he smiled and he slowly with his hand several times hit his heart area looking at me.
So here is a parallel with your story… :two_hearts:

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That sounds… difficult. Thirteen years, not knowing. This planet… ugh.

I guess you managed still to “look for the love in the moment”, eh? I’m not very good at that. Without the right drugs, anyway.

Anyway sorry for your loss, or at least ease of easily perceived company of and communication with said entity.

Once you get over the pain, I’ve heard another non human entity, not your Ra or Quo, say incarnation is the bigger shock for the experiencer than death.

We communicate now because of my mate, I’m personally ready to try a different planet, but I suppose the last season of clown world is entertaining. Not to experience, but to watch.

I feel like the writers really lost the plot when they allowed money to become the true god of this world. They should have kept George R.R. Martin on. Because right now a blonde girl is riding around on a dragon just burning everything on Earth. And everyone really liked her before. This is going to be a fixer upper for whoever incarnates here next.

Oh well, I never wanted to deal with dementia, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, or chronic pain anyway. Most I’m willing to do is 55, maybe 60.

May you jump happily dear frog

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You know it’s so interesting, it was in fact some sort of a love adventure my two children and I embraced, so it’s in fact way easier than it sounds. The present moment is what is simple. And after the first year of his coma I had a reading. In a précédent incarnation, a son of mine had been killed in the war of 1870 in france, I had gone to recognize his body as his father, and years later, had committed suicide. So this was a way to see you can embrace something you couldn’t before. As to my son, he had a long long time before, a debt to pay, and he said, how can I be of service ? So while in a coma, he was helping souls transferring from Earth to Nirvana.

So, it was quite an interesting reading, lol

I heard one day from a friend, a widowed man, an interesting story, about a paralyzed older woman, which had same strange parallel.

Dearest LSDMTNT, I keep hopping !! Lol :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Interesting… I don’t usually mention my one possible past life for some obvious reasons as I feel it may prejudice some against me. Let’s just say I was shortly part of an empire that was to last a thousand years, but ended rather quickly. I do not know if I was a true believer in this disgusting hierarchical, totalitarian construct. I’ve considered regression hypnosis… but I’m not sure I want to remember more of that even if I might still have a certain aesthetic and linguistic appreciation for said extremely short lived dictatorship. Just in case I was involved in certain activities that may give me nightmares. Said empire wished to wipe out the mentally unfit and I am presently bipolar, severely anxious sober, and a drug addict… karma is a female dog, eh?

By the way, I don’t mean to be greedy with your time, but I’m guessing based on your profile picture you’ve been at this lol stuff for a good amount of time? I could use some wisdom, no hurry though my friend.

Besides certain feelings reading the original material, my primary reason for finding lol interesting is the fact that EVERY nde I read or watch, though the Allfathermother clearly personalizes these things is the congruency in some fashion in what is transmitted with lol.

Besides the insincere sounding ones clearly meant to convert to dogmatic religion. Not all the Jesus ones are insincere by any means, the creator will cater to your distortions. And though I’m not exactly Christian, if Jesus wants to love and save me somehow, he’s welcome to- I need all the help I can get. Aaron Abke’s YouTube series on mystical Jesus from a lol perspective makes me sort of like the silly all love with a death wish Jew. Don’t like that Old Testament god at all though. Or the misogyny and denial of various pleasures. Did you know medieval monks thought opium was holy though because it decreased libido? Fun fact.

Especially interesting are some experiences clearly from individuals from a smc. That and what it awakened in my mate who had already made something very, very similar without reading lol or similar material and without having taken psychedelics at that point. The studies of nde in congenitally blind individuals by skeptical scientists are quite miraculous for creatures mainly of empiricism rather than revelation, sober at least, like me.

In terms of emotional feeling, the congruency with subjective psychedelic experience was breathtaking for me. You do not need to have such experience to give valuable input, I just assume you’re much more familiar with the material than me, have more life experience in this incarnation, and I haven’t read much Quo at all.

Given that dmt has been proven to be released near death. DMT Quest Documentary - YouTube

I’m unsure if dmt offers a glimpse of higher densities or timespace. It clearly attracts some higher density extraterrestrial other selves. For some reason mostly angelic ones to me, demonic ones to my mate even though she is clearly far more sto than me, far, and likely does not have a human spirit.

The colors and feelings in lol are useful. On Christmas, releasing endogenous dmt with a certain technique and on a high dose of 4 aco dmt. I had this thing approach me first. Pure red orange and yellow. Now a higher density being, I assume would have some at least of the other colors besides green. These things are cold. In the heart, not physically.

They are easy to swat away for me, either by invoking green through various methods, attempting connection with source via I guess what I must admit to be prayer as embarrassing as that is for my ego, or honestly controlling my fear and dominating them works just fine though I’ve been trying not to do that lately. Trying.

Then there are mostly green fractal spirits, these are heart warm and like to give soul massages as I call them. The previously described will try to push them out of the way. So rude.

As higher levels of endogenous dmt are reached, “larger” intelligent light forms are reached. Negative ones are rare and often the others will sort of guard you from them. Positives will sometimes give you a feeling that feels better than opiates and mdma combined. Negatives, if they reach you require closing yourself off and asking the creator for a bit of help. Normally the experience is more about surrender, thus the intoxicated prophets at Delphi were women as while exceptions always exist, the male ego is usually feistier. These things are ineffable, surrender isn’t exact but is the closest to what I attempt to convey. Corporeal loved ones also help.

Negatives want to possess or disincarnate my mate whereas as long as I provide them with respect, respect not love, and appeal to vanity, most just want to have a form of… the closest concept is sex with me. Not entirely unenjoyable, but never, ever invite open yourself to them completely. Ever. They can be interesting. And I do not deny that they are a part of me. More active in the “past” than now, but I don’t think I’m making this harvest. Not enough time. But I will never deny love, so I refuse to join them. Love is more vital than anything they’ve offered.

The more impressive entities, positive or negative, feel very tall. Tall isn’t a good word, but there are none. This time those entities were, in a loving way, curious about wtf I was doing there. I “said” I just wanted to hangout with them for a bit. I told them merry Christmas. They acceded to this and went back to whatever it is they do. Though the muses did gift me various ideas. Most of which I forgot once confined again to my brain.

So my question is, given all this, do you have any wisdom that might tell me if this realm is a higher density or perhaps “local” Earth time space?

Oh and fyi, you know how some Christians like to say they’re born again?

On a high dose of certain things, the ego does die, the substance wears off and things go back to normal though you may have changed greatly, emotionally. To truly live one must die. There are non drug techniques too such as the sun dance, almost dying in the desert, walkabouts, etc.


Psychedelics May Lessen Fear of Death and Dying, Similar to Feelings Reported by Those Who’ve Had Near Death Experiences

Oh and if the intersection between chemical vehicles and chemicals and spirituality interests you, perhaps you might find some of the links “I “ included while still on a bit of dmt in a thread about Santa Claus edifying. Remember though, drugs are just tools. Not good. Not evil. Though some are of… limited use for the good.

Keep on hopping like you’re at a rave, jump around now, pond to pond, you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so turn into a bee, then back into a frog, and hippity hop into another density!

Lol, I don’t think you want my wisdom my friend, I’m rather low ground … I think from getting old you see all the things you truly have no idea about. Lol

Also after I was thirty, I found out that my true mission here was just making others laugh, this is truly what I love, so honestly nothing so elevated.

You know LSDMTNT, I really never did drug, I am truly in awe of anyone who had the courage to experience. And I should have, as my kids say because I was like early twenties when Woodstock took place, and I was all about the flower movement and everything, but I was just too much of a coward, and too scared to lose the little control I thought I had.

In another life I was a doctor in India, I am not really quite a christian , I, like you, don’t like the Old Testament, except the Song of Songs, which I find pretty incredible. I love the feminine voice of Jesus, but I love the Gita, lol, probably running from my doctor’s life !

But you are right about the walkabout, that’s my thing, and I did that once, or something very close to it. I have an idea it gives a little of that perspective, and then I was in mountain climbing too so that’s something else too.

Like you I am fascinated by NDE.

Curiously I am pretty fearless in life, and usually after some small event I am always astounded that I went through it without fear, but perhaps it’s just lack of awareness :rofl:

If you are thinking about regression, it might be your intuition, and it might be a good idea. I would go for it if done with one of the trained hypnotists from Michael Newton’s institute.

Just trust your own intuition, and don’t do it if it says no, no way… :wink:

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This is not the meaning of what I have written.
I did want to say that most of the people exist beneath of a life, just fulfilling the programmed existance of an bio robot. In this sense they never have a real life.
This is the reason why they are captured in an incarnation loop. They are not able to fulfill the tasks and challenges they should fulfill within the incarnation.

Could this be an acceptable reason for an incarnation?

Hahaha - that sounds very complicate for you.

My brother - this is your (trip and) dream - only you are able to find the answer within yourself.
Just hear exactly what Joseph Campbell is saying in the video you have posted.

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Thank you for your thoughts.

I like making others laugh too. It’s a shame court jester is no longer a job, I’d make c span fun. I am afraid of many things, but besides a few not wise for anyone to take, I fear no psychoactive drug. I love exploring consciousness. Like Dr Alexander Shulgin, though I’m afraid my chemistry extends only to extractions, like dmt crystal from vine, and the synthesis of a few mainstays.

One of his children, 2cb or bromomescaline is divine. Not the most spiritual, but a healthy ish way to experience something of lsd and mescaline and enactogen, an enactogen is something that increases empathy, it was used in couples therapy as let us say it sanctifies sex even those used to a more perfunctory performance. Communication is also enhanced. An urge to share. Massages, cuddling, looking into each other’s eyes and truly seeing. They say there is no female aphrodisiac… there are many, but oh do they persecute that which acts on mood in mind. And I’m sure you know how important mood is in this endeavor, especially for the female.

Ra says the divine feminine has an over abundance of spiritual energy to share. I always thought women more magical, but that may just be my heterosexuality speaking…

It is your free will, but spore syringes are available online. Those at a place called shroomery can guide. Might be fun if you have a spare closet. There are shaman in their 90s and ayahuasca and their sacred native tobacco is harder on the system. Psilocybin is exceptionally safe… look up how many die from acetaminophen and that is in most cold medicine preparations.

Wim Hof breathing is very easy, but very magical combined with even a low dose of any psychedelic. Psychonautwiki is an excellent resource. Psychedelics are not addictive. As long as you don’t have schizophrenia, you’ll be fine if you start nice and low. You don’t need to travel the cosmos or spirit realm on them for them to be useful.

Oh and if you like laughing, you’ll love psilocybin…

There was an experiment conducted with psilocybin in I believe the early 60s but maybe the late 50s. Theology graduate students attended a mass a control group was given Niacin, so both would believe they were the active participants, the others psilocybin. It was called the Good Friday experiment, I believe.

“ In 2002 (published in 2006), a study was conducted at Johns Hopkins University by Roland R. Griffiths that assessed mystical experience after psilocybin.[[9]] In a 14-month follow-up to this study, over half of the participants rated the experience among the top five most meaningful spiritual experiences in their lives, and considered the experience to have increased their personal well-being and life satisfaction.[[10]”

Psilocybin is 4 ho dmt, the active molecule is a metabolite is psilocin. 4 aco dmt is active on its own and the first stage is even more spiritual, in my opinion, it then turns in into the exact same drug which is the active component of psilocybin via certain liver enzymes.

4 aco is grey market, legal if not for human consumption in many areas, and naturally I’d thus never tell you to consume it…
“ A feeling of pure, untainted, infinite love came over me. This incredible feeling of love, and simple and pure joy made me gasp repeatedly, like when we’re hit with really cold water. I closed my eyes, relaxed even more, I let out a huge yawn…and then I left my body. I was no longer ‘Me’. I was everything that ever was, or ever will be, and it’s always been like that. I received lots of information on how things work, and why everything is the way it is.

I understood that nothing is inherently good nor evil. Again, I felt as if I already knew that, but these facts of Universal truth are kept hidden from us while in human form (that’s what I got out of it anyway). My soul is drifting in and out of my body, non-stop, almost as if being playful, and I am just basking in the most perfect joy I have ever felt.

Yes, my soul (or consciousness, if you prefer) would come back to my body every so often, and every time this happened, I would feel something like an orgasm, complete with gasp and everything, only 1000 times stronger and without any sexual connotation. My soul has no sexual identity, nor a gender. The true ‘Me’ is pure energy, the same energy that makes up absolutely everything in the Universe.

While on the couch, my soul left my body at least 5 times. My soul would stay in my body for a few moments, and then I would yawn and it would leave again, only to show me more and more things, like experiencing life from everybody’s perspective.

I could recall any past experience from my current life, like say, an argument or conversation with a person or a group of people, and I could replay the same conversation from other person’s point of view, and I could switch from one person’s POV to another by just thinking of it.

I found this to be very pleasant, and I understood that it is only logical to be able to do this, since I am part of everything, and everything is a part of me.”

I have more 4 aco dmt than I could ever use. I offer a gift, a couple doses premeasured. Easy to deal with doses, take too much of anything or enter realms for which you may not be prepared is unwise. I have been unwise enough pretty much nothing phases me, but others are different.

I won’t be offended if you turn this down. If you want this gift, speak privately, for there are ways to ensure things go right with this sort of thing. Set and setting, ect. Again, this is merely an offer and I will not be offended no matter what you choose. You can also always engage in some mycology. Or perhaps this sort of catalyst is not your path.

As for my part, I’m into history so if you ever desire to share tales of the past, we’ll, I have insomnia pretty much every night.

Light and love my friend

Oh my dear Tadeus, I do appreciate your Socratic method. I will consider this.

Though my response to flo was longer, since I wrote it first, I must sleep now.

Keine Sorge, ich liebe dich auch. Gute Nacht.

Danke - die liebevollen Gedanken werden erwidert.
Arbeitest Du in einer Nachtschicht?

I appreciate your sentiment, lieber Tadeus.

Haha, no I don’t work a night shift. I live in California in the United States, and have a circadian rhythm disorder in addition to an anxiety disorder and bipolar which can sometimes make you sleep or stay awake for days. Thus insomnia. Most of these posts are on a tablet as I listen to my mate snore or shorter ones like, uh, im Badezimmer, ja?

I’ve always thought German was a beautiful language both spoken in an intimidating, masculine manner and intoned softly or sung by a good female singer. But I taught myself it in high school because I was interested in history and the world wars were a special point of interest for me. For example, did you know that Blitzkrieg, in many cases such as with the so called ghost division of Panzer attack that conquered France, was reliant on methamphetamine? That made their advance only limited by fuel. Panzerschokolade was one form How Methamphetamine Became Part of Nazi Military Strategy | Time

Also the language is great at forming nuanced words and I just get a kick out of things like “hand shoes” for gloves.

Funnily enough, the man that dealt with the Cuban Missile Crisis in which nuclear war approached, us president Kennedy was likely only elected because of charisma fueled by that same drug… The Kennedy meth

Hitler, also, was naturally addicted to methamphetamine.

Now the CIA, formerly the OSS in WWII, pilfered German, both normal and full on Nazi believer, specialists via things like operation paper clip.

The CIA got greatly out of hand and elements of my government became a sort of Nazi breakaway organization. That rabbit hole goes very deep, here’s a taste MKUltra - Wikipedia

Now Kennedy in spite of the Hitlerdroge was a good president, as far as they are ever good. He was planning to dissolve or reform the CIA and then died in a very strange manner…

As for work… I am skilled with psychology and thus words and marketing are easy. My mate is skilled with tech. Sometimes I have helped some other selves as a sort of scientific, non tribal shaman. Sometimes I sell legal, but obscure things like 7-hydroxymitragynine. I don’t work any particular hours. My mate has chosen some degree of wealth decrease… sts is what makes money effectively.

Money is filthy and I hate it. I’d give up all the tech and material things for more belonging and connection than I have…. Besides my psychedelics, but those can be found in plants and fungi.

I should refresh my German at some point though, been a decade since I took it seriously. I’m learning Russian right now as it is more useful to understand other points of view, every German that’s not super old seems to speak English anyway.

Vater vergib ihnen denn sie wissen nicht was sie tun….

Lol. I wish you good nigh too, LSDMTNT…

lol I am so happy if you are not offended that I do not take the offer…

I am too old now, lol… also you know I had a grand-father that I adored who was a surgeon. He was just the kindest person to everyone, He would perform surgery for nothing to patients who couldn’t afford it. I was just in awe of him and from 6 years old, I would walk to his apprtment on Sundays and he would show me huge prints of the different physical system, the blood circulation, the neurological system, the muscular system, and so on.

I was so young that it gave me this magical vision of how elaborate our body is, how intelligent and generous our cells are, trying al the time to keep us in harmony, and I think all this exquisite construction visualized, created in me such an awe and gratitude that the idea started then that to ingest any outside chemical was like the anithesis of what my cells were looking for,

It’s a vey child like vision but somehow thai never left me. I mean, lol, it 's even hard for me to take an aspirin or Advil or whatever , lol lol This is why I am in awe of someone experimenting something that I would never do… lol

This grand -father made such an impression. He passed away when he was 99. He used to say , never buy any medicine, perhaps a very low garde aspiring but even that is dangerous !!! lol
He was so lovely. When the 1914 war started in france, he went to enlist, he was very skinny… and after the medical exam, they told him he was unfit for war, and the reason was : Weakness of Constitution… lol. and he lived till he was 99… lol

So he enlisted as a stretcher bearer, and they accepted him. Once on the front, the doctors realized he was a surgeon and took him in. He was 37. And when he came back from the front, in 1918, all his hair had turned white because of what he saw in the trenches. He was just so lovely. he would wake up at five am everyday, get a shower and would walk to his hospital, which was 4 miles away so a little over an hour walk, and he would do that whether it was warm or cold, sunny or snowing, all his life, so he would start to do surgery at 7 am. Then he would walk back at the end of the day. Sometimes he took a bus on the way home, b ut not that often.

I guess it was his walkabout… lol. He loved classical music and would allow himself to listen to it on his record player only on week ends… He sounds very austere but he was in fact always laughing and sweet and kind.

you would have loved him.


World War I was in many ways more difficult than the second besides things like Stalingrad. It’s the constant stress that leads, more often, to what they called shellshock or now ptsd. Sounds like quite the individual.

Every instance of drug use does carry a risk. Exogenous drugs that is, you still might be surprised what your natural, endogenous dmt can do to enhance meditation…

The magic really happens with six or more rounds, however.

Your choice is wise if your objective is to extend your incarnation as long as possible. Intermittent fasting and the cold pillar of the wim hof method are also useful.

Here’s a weird story

The Japanese were so horrible to the Chinese before and during ww2 that Nazi observers often thought they were inhumane. But I wouldn’t be here if not for the imperial Japanese attacking china.

My grandmother was Russian but was born on a train while her parents, who were wealthy, fled the communist revolution in some country like Kazakhstan. They lived in china during the reign of its last emperor.

They had many servants and my grandmother spoke Russian, Mandarin, and French.

One day she was swimming in the ocean. She was pulled out to sea by a riptide and almost drowned. An imperial Japanese battleship rescued her.

Then the civil war began in china between the nationalists and communists.

The family went to the United States. She gained fluency in English in just three months, she could tell once she started dreaming in English.
She was around 17 and went to college in California, somewhat rare for women then.

There she met my father’s father, a German American.

A tale for a tale.

Have a good day my friend.

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Oh - that is very unpleasant.
If you believe in Ra and preincarnatic conditions it could be an interesting question, why you are so strongly affected by such disorders?

Every nice thing on this planet was enforced with the beginning of the so called first world war.

The CIA was involved too in introducing drugs into America.

Regarding the “vierte Macht”: What people ignore is, that only the Wehrmacht (army) has capitulated - not the navy and air force. :wink:

There are some nice researches showing up that every language seems to base on althochdeutsch (old high german). When you want to read an interesting (german) book about it:
Erhard Landmann - Weltbilderschütterung. Die richtige Entzifferung der Hieroglyphenschriften

This is a great story.


Whoa, LSDMTNT, what a life your grandma had…
My great grandma was from Riga , now in Latvia, but then in Russia. She migrated to france around 1880 but no riptide and adventures like yours… but, apparently, she did have an NDE.

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Danke sehr for the reply. You do like to prompt “others” to think deeper for themselves… don’t you?

My festivities are ending and the forcing certain states and mania for my own purposes, both sto purposes and a few sts indulgences, has lead to depression. Thus, I will likely draw away from others, besides my mate. I’ll be back in a couple weeks.

But first I’ll address why I think I have these conditions. No treatment known to standard science works long term for me, fyi. My mate’s conditions miraculously got much better after I and some aliens and some basic concepts she already came up with using different words catalyzed… something in her. I’ve spoken of her in previous posts. But I’m likely only human or have yet to learn some lesson.

I could explain the why in some detail using standard human science, but I doubt that’s what you’re looking for… now “believe” is a strong word. I like Ra and I think there could be something to it, especially given the impressive ufos my mate and I saw when I directly addressed the confederation using Ra’s verbiage.

Now communication is hard with words even between two humans from the same culture. I’m not exactly the Ra expert. I read all the sessions in order while trying to sleep, skimmed Voices of the Confederation as it was very repetitive, and speed read Carla’s really long wanderer book. So even if we assume Ra is real and is picking the best words it can… true understanding is going to be a bit difficult given what I just said.

And the more I read, the more I listen, the more I experience… what I realize is I don’t really know anything for certain. All I can do is try to keep an open mind and try my best to be kinder even though humans don’t make it easy as this can be a hard species to love unconditionally and various events and the manner in which the major human societies are set up make it really, really hard. At least for me… and looking in a mirror and seeing the creator? I don’t even particularly like myself let alone unconditionally love myself, that exercise isn’t going to help at this point. Maybe on enough ecstasy, haha!

So why am I screwed up like this? Probably because it’s the only way I’d be able to relate, when I met her 14 years ago to my exceptionally lovely, strange mate. Certain 2d are easy to love unconditionally. A dog or cat is easier to love than a human. So my higher self probably figures, let’s start with learning it with one person. And when you both have such conditions, many opportunities to server each other present.

If we take Ra as factual on major points, I’m still not sure why I’m here right now. When I was a child, I was horrified when I first learned that others would hurt others just to hurt them, so I’m unlikely to be an Orion crusader anytime soon.

On the other hand, I did develop quite a distortion towards revenge in having to deal with this species. And I find most humans quite stupid. Tribalism, gullibility. That combined with the fact that social anxiety makes you want to isolate yourself and kill that anxiety somehow makes many methods of sto service improbable.

So I find it unlikely that I’m graduating in either direction. I just wish I could have dreamless sleep, dreams are always weird and disturbing. It’s nice when the light, whatever it is, deigns to cradle you though…. awake or asleep.

I’m just very, very tired. I can certainly behave immaturely at times, but I was born in many ways a grumpy old man. And I am tired of humans, but it’s what I have… paradoxically I yearn for belonging and a tribe that actually means something.

Hopefully I can get a long rest, somehow, when I die.

Be well friend, goodbye for now and thank you.

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It seems so.

That’s normal. :smiley:

The hard ride through the Great Reset has just begun …

There is not such an extensive Ego and a splitting into an logical / male (left side) and spiritual / female (right side) brain.

That’s the reason i have asked some of the questions. :wink:

Most of the people here cannot believe this up to now. :rofl:

Tribalism and gullibility are not so negative.

I hope you will find the key to untangle all this and find a solution.


Ah… there we go The Great Reset. The CIA decided to call information they didn’t want getting out conspiracy theories to ridicule those that saw. Of course, there are people that are just schizophrenic… but conspiracies are a constant.

I knew you were too smart not to see it.

Oh, doesn’t Klaus Schwab just look cute in his Sith robe? Vee have already penetrated the cabinets and you will eat zee bugs.

Yes, mass starvation, total chaos, police robots, probably a fake alien invasion with some tech some wannabe gods, let’s say, traded their very souls for.

All while we hijack and pervert previously well intentioned political movements around the world. Divide and conquer, the old strategy of imperium romae invictae… invictus until they met the Huns and Germans trained in the legions, and finally ottomans with cannons, giant ones still used at gallipoli when all nice things were coming. Nice things as you sarcastically intoned.

There’s always a bigger fish to enslave you on the dark side. These plutocrats ,kleptocrats, and civilizational pyromaniacs may end up regretting their choices, even if the regret is still selfish.

Remember, nowadays conspiracy theories are acknowledged fact six months later.

The… Austrian painter was right about one thing, bankers are, often, the enemies of the people. The WEF attempts to encircle us. Blackrock seeks to “own” everything. Viruses are created, a mass psychosis, a cure worse than the diseases. Depopulation, debilitation. Oh and once the beast has you by the throat, all its pretty progressive camouflage will be thrown off.

It seems like the mainstream media and puppet governments view orwell’s 1984 as a guide rather than a warning…

And people wonder why I don’t care if some drug I use kills me…

But I’ll watch unbound because I’m really curious how this mess ever goes 4D positive. I just… don’t want to live through the worst of it. No thanks! And is it still the earth in soul if most don’t graduate and “immigrate”?

Love of money and power. And money is power. Rather than love of, we’ll, love has never lead anywhere I’d consider good.

I’ll leave now, I just can’t resist a conspiracy fact rant, hahahahahahahahahaha

Don’t get me wrong, I feel for all, but in a way it will be oddly satisfying when the clown world pops like a balloon and the architects of enslavement realize that they have just enslaved themselves!

They are not elite, they are parasites! And despite their efforts… we still outnumber them many fold. The war was mostly let us say wars of info until recently, but the seals break and it grows hot.

Do not comply and never bend the knee. That is advice, not a command. I suppose I must respect your free will if I want to be on the side of that nice blinding light that gives rather than takes.

The light which shadows flee from- equality, freedom, and love forever! Never be their slave!