Session 32.1 and the difficulty of the spiritual path

Hey People.

I have been trying very hard to apply this session, I have not succeeded today. So I wanted to mention this because I think this is a relatable thing. This is something everyone goes through I imagine. Trying to achieve spiritual goals and falling short:

The session:

Questioner: I have a little question I will throw in at this point from Jim. I will read it. The instrument’s physical complex is now in the process of recovery from taking a chemical. She was ignorant of the opening that she was creating. How can each of the three of us present be more aware of how such openings may be created in our actions and thoughts? Is it possible that we could make such openings innocently as we question in certain areas during these sessions? And then, what can we do to protect ourselves from distorting influences in general? Is there any ritual or meditation that we use?

Ra: I am Ra. Although we are in sympathy with the great desire to be of service exemplified by this question, our answer is limited by the distortion of the Way of Confusion. We shall say some general things which may be of service in this area.

Firstly, when this instrument distorted its bodily complex towards low vital energy due to this occurrence, it was a recognizable substance which caused this. This was not a, shall we say, natural substance nor was the mind/body/spirit complex enough aware of its distortion towards physical weakness. The natural ways of, shall we say, everyday existence in which the entity without the distortions caused by ingestion of strongly effective chemicals may be seen to be of an always appropriate nature. There are no mistakes, including the action of this instrument.

Secondly, the means of protection against any negative or debilitating influence for those upon the positive path was demonstrated by this instrument to a very great degree. Consider, if you will, the potentials that this particular occurrence had for negative influences to enter the instrument. This instrument thought upon the Creator in its solitude and in actions with other-self, continually praised and gave thanksgiving to the Creator for the experiences it was having. This in turn allowed this particular entity to radiate to the other-self such energies as became a catalyst for an opening and strengthening of the other-self’s ability to function in a more positively polarized state. Thus we see protection being very simple. Give thanksgiving for each moment. See the self and the other-self as Creator. Open the heart. Always know the light and praise it. This is all the protection necessary.

The relevant piece here as it applies to me, as I tried to apply is that the self is perfect without the ingestion of strong chemicals. The specific case mentioned here was LSD. But I think this was also moved out to Carla’s pain medication if I am correct.

How Carla was able to keep up with these practices and channeling during her physical pain, in comparison to me and struggling with far weaker catalyst is something to behold imo. I hope one day Carla is raised to Saint status because of this. I have had a few insights into the difficulties the trio faced while doing this work. I also want to state as well I am not comparing my trials to Carla. Carla herself probably would not consent to being ‘raised up’, she wrote on this a few times, but I don’t think that amount of commitment to purpose is a normal behaviour. If you do spectacular things then your reputation follows you.

This was a direct answer then and previously, I had been having a bit of wine on Sundays for communion. “Even Jesus drunk wine” as my mother says. But this line lead me to stop all alcohol, and all caffeine as well. I did eat cakes though because I can’t really avoid that with my medical condition. But since I am eating them I was eating them for leisure as well.

This was for about six months or longer. But the other day I realised I am simply too blocked to continue on with this. I had a few difficulties at the gym. I was locked out a few times and it made me very angry. Anger is a huge catalyst for me. It reaches proportions that are internally painful. I am improving in health and, well, I have some physiological links ot this I think. When I was in my teens I was very big on martial arts and wanted to do competitions. I was pretty terrible though. Apparently musicians are bad at competitions because their rhythm is too predictable. I got that from Loren Christensen who writes books on fighting.

So I felt too disrespected by the gym and ended my membership. But recently I physiologically clammed up. Like, way too much anger. Not in any temper based way. I am perfectly controlled in my mood. But physiologically so much angst and seethingness. I really need to go to the gym.

I can’t go to the gym though, not yet, and I can’t physiologically calm down. So I have turned to both chocolate (caffeine) and alcohol. The chocolate was actually from a dream. I had the dream and I was deflated the next day and could not justify not having the chocolate although the dream was not strictly clear. I just kind of dissolved though.

I will join the gym again on Monday and hope to remain a member for the rest of my life. But it has just lead me to reflect on how… difficult it is to maintain the standards of the Law of One.

The contact did not state that everyone who reads the Law of One should do as Carla did. But they did state the metaphysical/ spiritual principles behind certain things. I.e. if we are to accept ourselves as the Creator and perfect, the higher evolution, that we should not use chemicals to change that perfect being. But at the same time there are no mistakes. I hold onto that.

I don’t know truly if I am able to hold this standard going forward even after I am back at the gym. My priority in life is meditation, music practice and prayer every day. Once I do those things though, on top of my ongoing potentiation of this kind of information that I still have an endless need to expres and research. it is always being thought up and coming to new conclusions. These things cause a lot of stress and I am not sure if I am the being that does this level of spiritual work and high vibration? Maybe I will continue with chocolate and a bit of alcohol (my liver is better than it was! Yay!)

My music was actually vastly improved by the chocolate because all of a sudden, rather than noodling around with singing, I decided strive for excellence in the music and do more technique work.

I’m sort of taking on a bit of an eccentric genius vibe (not that I am a genius, just that that is a stereotype/ archetype, the catalyst of the mind where my unconscious Mercury is placed). Like, it is a stereotype of creative and high IQ people being driven a bit mad by their own mental process.

It reminds me recently when I heard that Jesus belonged to a sect called the Essenes, following a creator called Aaron Abke. That he was vegetarian. I tried to reduce my meat intake to only eggs, cheese and fish and promptly got ill. I also tried a lot of the Essene prayer and they didn’t work for me either. It’s like trying to meet a new standard and move forward in a spiritual journey and it just ends with not being able to continue it. Now I eat frozen chicken basically every day.

So those were just some thoughts.

There are a few quotes on this about how people fail at the spiritual path, but I am too foggy and angry to think clearly and remember them or a search term right now.

I don’t recall any distortion of the Law of One that allows you to do this or limits you from doing anything else. It seems to me that anything you can do/achieve, do it, and pay for it, because the One will not let you know what not to do. Any description of the Law of One in this density has a distortion(s).

If you still need some pills to stay alive better, take them. You will not need them when your body recovers. You should know which substances are definitely harmful to your human form according to modern technology. Avoid taking them unless it is necessary (I drink coffee every day because my job requires a hundred trips a day).

No one knows what you need, what you will need to experience (in this world). I only know that if your body is malfunctioning, your activities will be limited. Being harvested does not mean doing anything special. Polarizing yourself is the way out according to RA’s information. There are many ways to make ourselves serving others or becoming selfish.

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You bring up another thing I have been wondering about. Caffeine.

I heard someone who’s perspective I normally respect, saying that caffeine is not a chemical it is a food. While there are definitely people who take a lot of caffeine to the extent that their experience and personality is very different without the substance (so, definitely satisfying the issue raised with strong chemicals in this post!). There are people who drink a cup of tea before bed and chomp chocolate without difficulty.

It’s also in different concentrations in different things. For instance, the caffeine in green tea is very low. It is also combined with different things in different ways. For instance, chocolate is a superfood and it contains a great deal of potassium and magnesium, a big bar can contain about six times our RDA in some very important nutrients. Chocolate can grow new brain cells. Magnesium is very important for us and is something that a lot of people lack. Cacao, is an unrefined form of chocolate that is more complex for the body to digest.

Where is the line here? If we are to define caffeine as a “strong chemical” at all? It’s a difficulty with channeling. We cannot re- ask the question and we can’t explore the reasoning of the passage if we didn’t get there ourselves, and the reasoning and clarification isn’t suitably clarified. This is where philosophy has a strong benefit I think in that in philosophy, you have to properly explain and justify everything.

There is a lot of research and experience on LSD for many of us to come to the conclusion we don’t want to be anywhere near it. I have a friend of a friend who had a permanent schizophrenic break by taking something strong and can no longer work. Andrew Huberman talks about how it modifies the brain away from action towards inaction. (Reminder that THC is like, 70 parts per million now rather than one part per million in 1960)

Then alcohol. Clearly this is more of a strong chemical and more of a dysfunctional substance. It has some small medicinal value in some instances. I do not know if it can be used to clean parasites from the body or if those videos where it is killing parasites under the microscope is separate from what it does in the body? But parasites are a huge health issue.

I have thought of another issue as well. In the Law of One, the trio were all working together harmoniously. They each had social lives. Money was not great but not terrible from what I understand. So they had each other to talk things over with and not get too stressed about things. The contact I think talked about them supporting each other and such.

And they were ultimately unsuccessful if you really think about it, Don can’t be said to have handled stress well at the end of his life. Or they were very successful, but only for a finite time.

Not everyone will have that same situation. Not everyone has a partner or enough money. But then is this just an excuse?

The anger for me is very productive I think ultimately. I am writing a set of articles at the moment I am passionate about, considering the mythology of Christianity, with all it’s many issues (with translation issues and other things), in comparison to the understanding expressed by the behaviour of Austin Metcalfes father. Is this the same situation as Jesus’ ‘Forgive them for they know not what they do’ on the cross? Etc.

It takes a lot of anger to even explore those ideas. To want to write that article. To be willing to go into the different research, interpretations and perspectives. A side effect of this passion and desire is that the anger is sometimes difficult.

Of course a lot of these points don’t have real answers that can be arrived at quickly.

I know exactly what you mean. It is a dirty fuel to use, but it can get you down the road pretty far before you have to do some cleanup.

Yeah, so this was the post from twitter that I started my latest blog series with. It is a post from the handle @fromkulak.

This woman uses the handle of a science fiction series along the lines of fifty shades of gray. So she makes it into a kind of joke or sexual thing, and then behind that mask she actually make open statements about the legitimacy of violence without the censors coming down on her:

*The disgusting thing is when a father goes on TV to forgive the unapologetic murderer of his son He is doing what Christ did. *
*Christ forgave his killers MID-ACT *
*“Forgive them father they know not what they do” *
*So this father did It is An evil morality from an evil religion *
*And there’s no way to rescue it. The final act of the christian messiah was to forgive killers even as they were committing the murder against him. *
*What would Jesus do? Die without a fight or even a harsh word, which no descendants succeeding. That is the example christianity commands you to follow. *
Either jesus lived wrongly and it is not an example to follow, in which case it is a wrong religion and he was not the Messiah. Or it is an example you’re supposed to follow in which case it is an evil religion and even if its god does exist it’d be better to live in hatred and spite of him and accept any damnation in the name of the survival and existence of your children and future descendants rather than let your family and people die out for obedience to an evil Jewish God’s threats and promises.

That is quite a statement.

In order to answer it there is a lot that needs to be said. As you have heard from my other posts here, I don’t completely disagree with this post. To me, forgiveness without contrition is evil. But i don’t fully agree with it either.

it takes a real sense of anger to wade through that and not just scroll past like most people do. The anger that it is misinterpreted. The anger for and against this post. To even have considered this in the first place means to have considered whether to forgive or not. If punishment in the real world is worth pursuing.

There is a very ‘physical’ element to anger. It feels like anger in some cases is the conversion from a cerebral reality. The decision to make these metaphysical truths relevant to even the most base level of reality is something I think people without anger are not so inclined to deal with. Anyone that ignores the Austin Metcalf situation is likely using a kind of “Ivory Tower” mentality.

The human design, holds that there are three negative or ‘not self’ emotions. Or three that are clearly identified. Anger, that comes from the energised throat chakra, an energy centre into the throat, I have that. Frustration, that comes from the energised sacral (I don’t have a defined sacral) and bitterness, which is a feeling that the world isn’t fait. That comes from the energies set up by the lack of either of those. A kind of powerlessness where the energy field is very much subject to free will as a binding force.

I find this so true. There is a saying that anger can be fear expressed, which I think, when I remember being angry when I was very young was in fact so related to intense fear.

Anger is a curious thing.

In my twenties iI sort of discovered something when I was deeply examining my own anger.
Most of the time that anger was either directed at a situation or at another human being.

In examinign deeply that anger, taking time, I realized that in the end, in the very very end, I was not really angry at the situation or at that other person, but I was really angry, deeply, at myself alone. It was an epiphany of some sort.

But this is just a very personal thing, which is just what I found out about myself. But it brought lots of clarity to my following years.

I think patting ourselves on the back, once in a while, in general, as a human family, is a good thing, lol. It’s tough being human. lol

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This is where I am with it at the moment.

Firstly, the recent bout of physically present anger is very intense. Like, it is constantly with me. Making an impact on my moment to moment emotional life. Like I said previously, and what I kind of started the thread on, is that it felt bad to have “failed” in my attempt to stay off a lot of these things like alcohol. At this moment, it doesn’t seem like such a problem because it is clear to me that the issue I have is more important than that and the fact that I am handling it and having insights into it is more important. Potentially it is hugely positively life changing as well.

The physical anger and the angst it is giving me I think is based on a few different things. My medical condition increases my anger in a very distinct way in that it pollutes my blood a bit when the medication is not properly balanced. But it is not the only issue. My thinking is that I wired myself wrong in my youth based on a lot of interconnecting factors. We can use negative entities influence as an analogy here because I was a strong follower of the Law of One a few decades ago and highly active in discovering and discussing/ interacting based on the material. Neither quote is complete, in both I take about the first half:

From session 17.17:

Questioner: Can you tell me what the Orion group did in order to try to cause his downfall?

Ra: I am Ra. We may describe in general what occurred. The technique was that of building upon other negatively oriented information. This information had been given by the one whom your peoples called “Yahweh.” This information involved many strictures upon behavior and promised power of the third-density, service-to-self nature. These two types of distortions were impressed upon those already oriented to think these thought-forms.

I am not comparing myself to Jesus. Any negative entity influence used by me is a metaphor due to the idea that it may or may not be true but I am not saying it is. Also, any “greeting” I got is based on the seniority of the material and not the high vibration of myself.

This is another relevant passage, 87.27:

Questioner: Would you do that?

Ra: I am Ra. You are correct in assuming that the energy of which we speak in discussing sexual energy transfers is a form of vibratory bridge between space/time and time/space. Although this distinction is not apart from that which follows, that which follows may shed light upon that basic statement.

Due to the veiling process the energy transferred from male to female is different than that transferred from female to male. Due to the polarity difference of the mind/body/spirit complexes of male and female the male stores physical energy, the female mental and mental/emotional energy. When third-density sexual energy transfer is completed the male will have offered the discharge of physical energy.

I was very into martial arts when I was young and I used to run everywhere, even going down the street. But in roughly 2005 I explored Reiki. I believe this was an error.

In concert with a few different things. My medical condition. That has been very serious up until 2023 with new medical technology (and also made things difficult for me to physically exercise sometimes!). But also growing up with a single mother. The deep feminisation of the new age, I recall distinctly reading and believing a lot of things I have since identified as very female strategies for living, a genetic tendency towards schizophrenia from my granny who I spent a lot of time with, and various other dysfunctions. Rather than channeling my incredible intensity into physical work like the gym. I tried to explore a more female way of looking at things.

So a lot of my male outlooks on things and tendencies were kept inside rather like a bomb waiting to go off.

This, including additional dysfunctions directed from outside (directed skillfully, using a layered approach as in 17.17, via “negative greeting”). Various cruel games and humiliations. Various confusions. Are what I have identified as leading to my schizophrenic break in 2014. The incredible intensity of my energy that should be channeled into physical work like the gym found another expression.

These processes are inside me a little now and having to put down a lot of female strategies that I am not suited for, in favour of male strategies, is important. Since 2023 my health has improved and I feel the insanity that has suddenly arrived is my need to physically go to the gym. It has worked previously. I have done some gardening today. Sawing up fences and trees. But it is not enough. I will do more tomorrow. I need to get to the gym. I plan to do back, four arm exercises and three leg exercises next time I am in the gym.

I barely drunk alcohol even when I was drinking about six months ago. I only really had a glass with communion. I haven’t drunk seriously in 13 years. But today, yesterday, and tomorrow I have had to have spirits and I really feel quite unwell. Really feel rageful and stressed. If I described my thought process today it would be disturbing to people not comfortable with violence. I don’t plan to get a drink for Monday because I expect to be a member of the gym by then.

This has also arrived at the same time for me, as a greater understanding of Jesus’ true teachings as explained by Aaron Abke. I never massively invested in it consciously. But a lot of very confused and cerebral ideas about Christianity have also been confusing me and I prefer Aarons message of a more “works” based gospel. More in line with the term ‘service to others’.

I think Carla was in line with this as well. I have never heard her repeat the Paulian perspective that Aaron casts as the falsity that is presented as Christianity that isn’t. She talked about having read the bible with only the words Jesus actually spoke. The ‘red letters’ as they are called.

I think this little section in session 87.27 is quite important. I wonder if the fictional show and book “The Wheel of Time” has any correct insights into these types of things? One of the things that nudged me on this is that in the wheel of time, the magick is experienced a little differently between the men and the women.

Of course, eventually it gets down to experiences and thoughts I have about other individuals. And I do think it is potentially worth eventually expressing certain philosophies on these ideas. For instance, in male physiology I expect a lack of status, needs to be gotten ridden of by the stress release of physical work. This likely improves socialisation in general. People that do a lot of exercise have a lot of positive optimism and are very relaxed even in difficult situations. A lot of interconnected ideas around that. But before I get there I need to sort out the strictly physical stuff first.

Everything you appear to have deducted from what was the past till where you are now, seems very wise to me ( note, Phenix, please, that I am far from wise though, lol )

Do you remember how Ra insists on the fact that we balance well lthe three lower chakras. So perhaps this intuition to go back to the gym is the way to finalize the balancing ?

Nothing makes me feel better than a long hard walk ! lol

Please Phenix do not be too strenuous or exacting on yourself ! And giving yourself repeatedly a pat on the back is a very good thing !!

Best, best wishes my friend !

Yeah, I used to regularly go for four to six hour walks, but last time I went I was walking and I couldn’t go any further due to insane rage. Then I tried to join the gym and the doors locked me out twice despite me paying and I got angry and cancelled the membership. I will phone them, make sure there are no issues this time, and join again Monday.

It’s weird though. For a long time. Well, quite specifically actually, since the Jupiter - Pluto conjunction in April 2020, I have felt that the negative power is significantly waning. I think before 2020 things were bad and a lot of people were being guided ‘behind the scenes’ by negatives. The negatives had just won some metaphysical front. But more recently, I don’t think they have so much power. That is why we are where we are.

Someone might think that what I am describing. Not being able to go to the gym. Other issues. Is negatives biting at my heels. But i don’t think so. It is of course a bit maddening to guess too much how we are guided, but some general thoughts can’t hurt I don’t think, as long as they are not taken too seriously.

One of the impacts into all this and the direct timing is the light malfunction of one of my ‘biosensors’, this is one of the kinds of things that could pretend to be a negative greeting but has the feel of a positive timing event. It has lead me back here though I was not inclined to return and lead me to drop a lot of metaphysical information. It has lead me to explain things to do with when I was here before and the negative impact I would have had. At the same time as Carla’s “ten year death anniversary”, as though there was some interconnected meaning to that.

A lot of this came from dream interpretation due to the newly available AI. Dream interpretation is also not negative.

I have had many other relevant insights here. Many of which I will not share as I don’t want to overwhelm. But I see positive things ahead.

Do you remember how Ra insists on the fact that we balance well the three lower chakras. So perhaps this intuition to go back to the gym is the way to finalize the balancing ?

Below is my “Human Design Chart”. That you might gather I hold in high regard as I have previously mentioned it. I have knocked off the planets for it because that is just too personal.

But if you notice the three lowest chakras, it’s not a seven chakra system, (accounting for the constant vagueness of orange/ yellow, which are in fact four centres!), are undefined.

The defined is the energy we have, the value we bring. But the white, the undefined, is where we observe and where our service usually ends up being, I think.

Perhaps my “service” and message is more lower chakra stuff. It is likely to me that insights garnered with this much synchronicities and fanfare are not a “final balancing”. They are a part of a process that will probably bring a great deal more fruit. For instance, as an example, I may end up doing a physical labour job if only part time. Or getting insights into health I can communicate to others.

I’m not really sure on that, it’s just a thought?

Best wishes.

So I did manage to get to the gym.

It did have the anti stress response I was expecting. After I went, when I got home again, I came out of fight or flight/ anxiety/ panic which I had been in for about a week. Felt suddenly very very tired.

I make this post because I am still thinking through session 32.1. This experience has generally made me less inclined towards the no alcohol no chocolate approach. Since during this time I feel that I used alcohol, and maybe a chocolate as well, as a kind of medicine. That I’m clearly not put together well enough to have avoided. If there had been no other way to stop it. If exercise had not been effective or I was not able to do it. I would have been open to normal, medical brain medication. It was that bad.

I think I will have to keep in mind, as should have been obvious earlier. That I do struggle a little psychologically; as my past has proven. The trouble is with having a physical condition is it always takes preference attention wise, and issues can always be assigned to that as cause. But it is wise for me to accept this psychological element of my make up.

I was so stressed I could no longer remember basic things that I normally have no trouble doing. Like remembering to get something I needed at the supermarket or something.

I’m not going to go though too much reasoning here, the for and against. But I do think the way Carla handled the stress from all these things and remained a pretty much functional human being in relation to her communication. Was super human. Is not a reasonable standard for me to meet and perhaps most people. And I dissolve at far lesser catalysts.

Alcohol was pretty much ineffective during this time. I drunk a bottle of wine on one of these days and there was no effect. Previously in my life I have been a lightweight, but previously also, my medical situation was leaning more heavily on my liver. So one of the side effects of my health improvement is that my body is able to better express my occasionally bouts of semi madness, and to be more immune to attempted movements against it like alcohol. I had a cocktail with a small amount of rum that worked for a good three hours though (even though rum tastes like cat piss). Against alcohol, the effect of exercise was more than ten times more effective!

I think it is an interesting discussion nonetheless. Like, to what extent spiritual seekers intend to follow this advice and the pros and cons. A small side note, I am, and always have been, severely allergic to weed. I get terrible headaches if I even smell it. So that particularly issue is not discussed by me.

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:pink_heart:

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I have had another insight. I hope it’s OK for me to post again. I am not posting in the other threads.

I have found through meditation today, meditations have been deeper recently, that it was not actually correct for me to pursue the “spiritual message” of the in’s and outs of forgiveness without contrition.

I am thinking my energy field is more completely matched to doing music. This, really, really, fits. A big part of the reason I have other philosophical parts of my energy field is to keep my energy field clean for music, and to have something to say in music.

I dropped my chart earlier. One of the things that I think is relevant is that I don’t have a full channel going from the G- Self. The “heart chakra” like diamond in the centre, up into the throat.

A lot of people do have it. Carla had it. She had the 7-31 to do with leadership. Jordan Peterson has the 13-33. The philosopher Stefan Molyneux has the 8-1 and he talks about this. Gad Saad has the 8-1, and, with relevance, Aaron Abke, whose chart I will drop, has both the 8-1 and the 10-20. In a way that isn’t tethered to the rest of his chart.

So without that, part of the blockage might be that I was attempting to do the 8-1 stuff and talk on this message without having the channel there.

In relation to talking about it here and in some other contexts, if it is invited out, even through conflict, then it can get to the throat WITHOUT the full channel. I have the 51-25 and a defined G-self. But it is a blockage for me to push that message without invitation, since it is not my message. it is just a life thing I have stumbled over.

If it was invited through my 21-45 theoretically it could be expressed. But that is a level of complexity, filled with only half understandings, I won’t go into.

In relation to this message then, the message of Christianity, forgiveness in different contexts; it is something the world will have to sort out. It’s not something I can directly participate in.

I hope it is interesting for people to consider how I have come to understand blockages and such like that. I will be closing up that set of articles on my blog, and considering this learning as an important part of my understanding from now on: