Problems with the Spiritual Movement in a Masculine Dominated Society

I thought I’d share some thoughts that have been rolling around in my brain lately that have been weighing heavily on my heart in the last couple of years of my life, more so in the last 5 months.

We are in what would be the prime “golden” age of the spiritual movement, where more focused study on the soul’s evolution can begin to take place. Society as a whole has gotten to the place with technological advances that have simplified the way we live our lives, we now have a whole lot of room left for our minds to ponder the nature of reality. What does that mean entirely? I believe that simple of a definition to explain something so vast tends to fall short energetically when it comes to truly explaining what its all about and what is happening right before our eyes.

I found when I started to awaken to the nature of the illusion around us, I started to see that no matter how enlightened one becomes, there is always something that gets in the way energetically to sabotage in a sense, all the good work that spiritual leader/movement/teaching has accomplished. The nature of this particular illusion is that everyone’s ego will take over and ruin anything good if you don’t keep it in check. Not just keep it in check for one day. You have to ask yourself in every moment, “Why am I doing this? Is this just for my own glory or does this benefit anyone? Does it hurt anyone? Have I been led astray by my own shadows and insecurities, pride and arrogance?”

But no one takes on that particular responsibility when they choose to take on the added responsibility of becoming a teacher, leader, or guide. They leave that to the individual person learning and duck responsibility for what they are energetically putting out into the world. They feel they are entitled to give the advice, but in no way responsible for the consequences of that advice. And then, pressures of society are placed upon that particular individual and they are then motivated eventually to make money for the time they’ve spent “teaching and helping others.” Thus, everyone who gets involved in this for a living, has to start charging money for their services. The motivation for them helping goes from legitimately trying to help others (in a lot of cases), to finding that everyone needs help, everyone needs advice, and it feels like a thankless job trying to help more people than you have time for and you stretch yourself too thin.

Eventually you get so worn down, but the pressure to put out content, channellings, blogs, etc., adds up over time and it feels like no one is ever satisfied with the answers you give them. It just opens up more questions. And so it continues…

Over time, it warps into the need to get more subscribers and views to please your sponsors, or you get so overburdened by people wanting your help that you can’t make time for anyone, including yourself, unless you ignore the majority of the people trying to reach out to you. It’s actually impossible to keep up with all the comments, emails and questions when you get popular enough in any branch of the spiritual movement. Have you ever tried to contact anyone in any of these branches of spirituality? It’s impossible to get a hold of anyone real and if you do talk to a actual person, they don’t have time to say anything but some boilerplate response. Or you never get a reply. You send an email and it’s just lost in the wind. On YouTube for example, the “spiritual teachers” will get enough people commenting on their videos right after posting something new, that get high on the energetic vibration that is being sold to them in the moment and it leads many astray who cannot see the true intentions of those selling these practices.

This brings me to my next point. False praise. I don’t think praise is always entirely false, but there is something about it that warps the mind of the one receiving that praise if it’s absorbed like an addiction. It creates a barrier around the one receiving that praise, thinking they are untouchable because so many people love them, who cares about the conflicting opinions right? One conflicting opinion might tell you far more than the 9 others that agree with you. But many have difficulty seeing the value in learning from that which is opposite or different from your own point of view. The ego gets defensive and puts up a wall to any new information. “I can’t possibly be wrong, look at all this praise I’m getting for what I’m doing?!?” This is just the nature of this society. We created this system and everyone who is a part of it, falls victim to it eventually.

I studied this very closely for a long time on forums, blogs, YouTube comments, etc., and saw that anyone who posted a thoughtful opinion that contradicted what was being “sold,” their “audience” would jump down the throat of the one with the conflicting opinion, quoting at them lines from that particular spiritual practice or teacher’s sayings. This goes back endlessly in the past history of this planet. You can see this strategy strongly utilized by religious and cult leaders, as well by leaders of all kinds of spiritual movements. They didn’t need to do anything. They had a shield of people willing to jump into the middle of battle and help them fight for things they don’t even quite understand out of some loyalty they felt they owed that person/teacher/organization for “helping” them. That is how easily people can be brainwashed and manipulated into following these practices without questioning anything. It happens effortlessly. It seems to be a perfect system of manipulation.

The reason why I understand this so strongly is that I fell into it for awhile myself. Just long enough to understand it before it warped me further and ruined my life, like what has happened to so many people before me. Every organization has ways of making a lot of money off of people’s spiritual pain. I was on these sites/groups/channels trying to shake people out of their complacency, but I kept finding myself being pulled back into defending the material I was following blindly as well as noticing all these glaring red flags that popped up in so many interactions. There was a lot of information to absorb which I finally started to see more clearly what it all means through those interactions and observations.

When I watched a popular YouTuber in the past, I bought all the books he suggested. All of them. Most of them I couldn’t even start reading because they resonated so egotistical in the first few pages that I put them down as soon as I realized what was being sold to me. I stopped listening to his suggestions and wasting my money as soon as I realized what was shaping the mind of the person who was trying to teach me to be a better human being was not something I resonated with myself.

This happened to me also with the the Law of One and L/L Research. I bought a Law of One hoodie from their Etsy store that I can’t bring myself to wear. It’s in a donation pile now. I have physical copies of “A Wanderer’s Handbook,” the “Law of One books I-V”, and the “Aaron/Q’uo Dialogues.” I spent a lot of money because I wanted to show my support for them and they presented me with a way to do that, because trying to connect with anyone beyond that method was rather impossible due to their more recent boost in popularity.

I’m not saying any of this because I put blame on any of these organizations, individuals or programs that have been created with or without good intentions. I am pointing out a larger issue. How do we evolve as a soul without getting caught up in these things? How does one truly learn and grow and continue to live in a society that perpetuates these standards as the way things “just are?”

The spiritual movement has become an industry, just like everything else. We are over complicating things again. This seems to be etched permanently into the history of this planet. Whenever something evolves, it gets taken over by the need to dominate and control it, thus warping it into something it never started out to be. Nothing changes because that energy always stays the same. It takes over and suffocates the love out of everything before it has a chance to blossom and transform into a whole garden of bountiful growth. Instead, we get impatient our garden isn’t growing fast enough and douse it with so much fertilizer that we burn the f*ck out of it and suffocate it before it even has a chance.

What I am suggesting here is to take it back to the basics. Make life less complicated, not more. Remember we are infinite beings in finite form. We need to respect the finiteness of our journey and that means recognizing the fragile state we are in our hearts. Our society as a whole has very wounded masculine and feminine energy and it has created every dynamic that is playing out in our lives before us. Love needs to be nurtured and logic needs to be balanced with the heart. People need to learn to love again, to trust themselves, but to also fight for their own well being.

You know what I find to be healing? Sitting outside and feeling the sun warming my face, the breeze brushing past my hair… I walk down the street and I look at the mountains, I listen to nature, stare at the trees. I lose myself in the healing energy of the world around me and I feel like I can breathe again. I listen to music and I share the emotions of the one singing about their pain, emotions and feelings. I connect to others through empathy and found I have learned far more in these experiences than I ever have studying any text, listening to any YouTube video, documentary or reading any book.

Sitting in front of a computer reading stuff on a screen is bs in comparison to in-person energetic connection. This is coming from one who grew up with internet communication being my sole way of keeping in touch with everyone I’ve ever known. As a young adult, I used to stay up all night on the computer and went to bed at 7am when it was too hard to keep my eyes open any longer. I craved that connection so deeply that I gave up sleep for it, I gave up eating for it. I got lost in it for years because it was the only way I could connect.

I’d trade every second I spent connecting online for a single one-on-one talk in person. The amount of healing that can be accomplished when you approach your spiritual growth with an open heart and a desire to actually become a happier, more loving person, is immense.

We need to get out into the world and connect again. We got scared and built these safe little bubbles around ourselves that made it so the only way we can learn and grow is through these online movements that are being controlled and manipulated, either obviously or subtly, in one way or another. What happened to learning through experience, instead of discussing hypothetical experiences we will never learn because the bubble we built is comfortable.

I know that I’d rather be uncomfortable and grow organically than lonely and pushed into learning in a way that just is not working for anyone in the long run. The spiritual movement is broken, whether you can see it or not, and I really do hope we can get back to a place of organic growth based on unconditional love and understanding. Money should never be exchanged in healing. That is where we went wrong as a society and maybe one day, all will realize just how lost we all got going down this path.

Thank you for listening and I appreciate any thoughts you may like to add/comment on.


Alas Harvest is upon us.

The ways olde are being reborn.
“capitalism made us poor”

The way the education system teaches to institutionalise people into service to self is intense.
neighbours next door, but light years away spiritually.
religion and alot of new age spirituality is crowd control. domesticates people fills them with so much fear , doubt and confusion. which become hate and violence
those of the belt are in control, there is not one industry untouched.
men are scared and vulnerable they are just afraid to admit it. so they inflate themselves to feel important and tough. its so toxic. Toxic king syndrome, where they only feel loved being served upon, not serving others
women overloaded and sick of not being appreciated and respected and looked down upon.
seperation from the source, the majik hidden.
kids are sick of all the bullshit and just wanna play

I think of the story of where there is monk meditating on a mountain and achieves enlightenment and a “demon” watching and overwhelmed with joy and happinesss and another demon goes " why are you happy, he is untouchable" , then he points to fans walking up the mountain and goes “all of them are mine”

if you join a movement or a group it creates separation from all other movements and groups.
currency is just a tool, but the money is corrupted.


Spirit to me is who I am, What makes me, me, my disciplines of personality , my service, my duty.
all other peoples expressions are catalyst for my growth for my use. how people want to move is up to them.

“if you want to save the world, go home and love your family”

listening to nature can teach more about spirit then any words any person says
people chase dopamine. the emotion of love not the discipline of love , the hard stuff.
in every person there is infinite darkness too , alot of people wants to be apart of the good side or the winning team or the right way not knowing every side is the same as the other side.

everything is perfectly on time, or random or both…

Love you infinite creator


Thank you for the wisdom, I agree on the major points.

It is ironic, given I’m on an Internet forum, but my mate who is…. let’s just say incredibly empathic and my personal teacher of unconditional love and sto in general had a vision of the technological civilization we have built. It appeared like a segmented, insect carapace like claw thing grasping the planet. “Built by humans, but not for human purposes” is what she said.

I don’t think tool use or technology is inherently evil, but always we are promised more freedom, a shorter work week, whatever. What always happens is the chains tighten. That smart phone that’s so useful? Now you are tracked, data harvested for manipulation, deceived, and, of course, if the boss needs you at 3 am on a Sunday.

The lack of real life connection has sucked out what soul we had left after thousands of years of this terrible idea called money as surely as any vampire.

In this civilization always the urge to monetize. Money is power, and power over others will rot your soul. Those whom you absolutely do not want in power are who are drawn to it.

Fear and division instead of love and light.

I wish all could have the mystical experiences I and my mate have had recently. Our extraterrestrial otherselves are the greatest of friends, but they will not usually reveal themselves unless called truly in love.

The greatest treasures are those of the heart and they are the only ones you can take with you after “death”.

This explains perfectly our civilization’s dominant problem and a breaking free…


In-Shadow was just recently mentioned in a thread by myself actually just the other day. You can find the thread here:

The Role of Wanderers and Cataclysms

Thought I’d link them since the topics are very much related.


There is also a really interesting post by Quan on Quo’s meditation related to this. I think it was posted yesterday. The quote that Quan posted was from Q’uo March 10, 1996

1 Like

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I have had many similar thoughts, but also would like to share my differing perspectives. If it doesn’t resonate, toss it out. These are just things that feel right for me.

I wonder though, are they truly enlightened then if they are able to be spoiled in this way? I know enlightenment is never a “one and done” thing because we are forever becoming the Creator…but in the sense of the term from our limited perspective. I would have a hard time believing that people such as Jesus or Buddha or figures such as themselves getting caught up in the trivial pursuits of seeking temporal things just randomly.

Forgive me if my comments are presumptuous, but I wasn’t sure exactly what you were trying to say…

My thoughts are that just because people charge for their services or sell products related to their spiritual practice doesn’t mean that it stems from the ego. We are currently living within a system with an energy exchange that has to do with money. We all have basic needs that have to be filled and at least for now, the way we do that is to use money in exchange for energy spent doing a particular thing.

I think in the future, we will evolve to a point where none of this money stuff will be a thing any longer and we will be able to follow our heart in whatever we do without being concerned about if we will be able to feed ourselves or not. But we are not there yet.

There is a “danger” if you want to call it that, in ANYTHING we do for money or to keep up with society in some way…doesn’t matter if that is being a doctor, a lawyer, a spiritual teacher…Honestly, I think it stems from a blockage in the heart in general when people get wrapped up in the pursuit of “whatever”. It’s not just spiritual people.

And I wonder, can we know for sure if spiritual-type products are made “just” for money or followers or whatever? Isn’t it possible that some people are doing it because they genuinely enjoy creating products and so they sell them?

If a person feels a genuine calling to help people with spiritual matters, but they are not hugely wealthy, why is it ego for them to charge for their services or products? Wouldn’t it be better for them to make money off of what their hearts are leading them to do rather than to go to university, and work their ass off for a job they hate because “making money by spiritual means is ego”?

I have listened to and still do listen to people who I can tell have a sizable prideful type ego…the reason is that their stuff has really helped me grow in Love. Maybe they don’t practice what they preach, but their message is still good. Now, I find myself less and less attracted to such people, but I don’t disregard everything they have said because they are ego. Some people who resonate with their frequency of “getting” will be helped by their message as they are not yet ready for top level spiritual leaders. It’s like a step in the ladder, if you will.

Also, I am a person who has several gifts/abilities/talents, whatever you want to call them, in the spiritual arena. I am also a person who has a family and we are lower than average income and living in a rural area where cost of living is pretty high…we feel called to stay here. My husband works full time, I work part time and I am currently offering spiritual type services/products for a fee.

If I had tons of money, I wouldn’t charge at all. I would LOVE to be able to dedicate my entire life and time to giving to others around me without charging them a thing. That would fill my being with so much gratitude! At this time, I can’t.

Of course, I could go out and get a full-time job so I don’t have to charge for anything…but wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of what my heart is leading me to do? That would mean I would have less time to devote to my spiritual practices and therefore decrease the help I can actually be to people.

Now, I am also not a person who wants to make life complicated either though…I don’t want to be overwhelmed and overburdened by trying to gain subscribers and followers and money. I have made a specific intention to grow organically without pressuring myself to hurry and do stuff that doesn’t feel authentic.

I would love for nothing more than to connect with real people, be in nature, giving them what flows through me from the Creator without charging…it makes me feel suffering knowing that we are not yet at a place with humanity where we can freely do what our heart feels called to without having to think about money. It sucks, to be honest. But this is where we are at right now…we chose to incarnate now, in this time for a purpose that may still be behind the veil.

Like I said, maybe this isn’t what you meant by what you said, but I figured I’d through my 2 cents in there.

Is it broken though?
Is anything broken?

Isn’t all of this stuff we see just beings searching for themselves and thus a necessary process of the evolution of the SELF?

How can we know what works unless we know what doesn’t work?

I know it’s hard not to be disappointed, I get disappointed sometimes too, but when I see the “brokenness” of not just the spiritual movement, but the education system, the governments, and the health care system, it can feel heavy as hell!

BUT, I remind myself that this all needs to happen. People need to go through that so they realize themselves more. Some realize it faster than others. In general, I have found a way inside myself to watch the beautiful chaos unravel in front of me knowing that eventually, we will take the unwoven threads and make something wonderful out of it.


That is why I mentioned that it didn’t seem to matter what stage they were at in their personal journey, they still had to fight with their egos, because of the imbalances in the masculine/feminine energies on Earth. Maybe if I put “enlightened” like this, my point would have been more clear? I apologize if this caused any confusion.

I’m sure no one needs an Etsy mug that says #4DAF or to pay for “4D Graduation classes” for $222/month with a 7 month commitment to show their love for the Law of One. But these mass manufactured products and self-help programs are being offered and people are purchasing them. :woman_shrugging: I honestly feel like their money could be better spent elsewhere while they learn in a way that doesn’t require them to empty their wallets.

This isn’t really the point though. Everyone has to be a part of this system because it’s always been set up this way. And things can’t change if no one changes anything… so it has to start at the heart. Healing the energy imbalances opens up the heart chakra. An open heart leads to more loving actions. It’s easy to see what the right thing to do is in any situation if you are using your heart to process those emotions. Bypassing the heart leads egotistical reasoning, which leads to egotistical actions, etc.

I am not including people who make artistic things for a living. I am an artist myself and have dabbled in most creative endeavours at one point or another from making digital art, hemp jewelry or crafts of various kinds. I have a lot of friends who make a good living with creative endeavours. I have always respected the hell out of handcrafted items made with love and care. I am talking more about people selling an image, not people who are legitimately trying to express themselves creatively.

It is all a system run by ego and unbalanced energies that want power and control that get in the way of any legitimately loving business practices because it all has to run on the system that currently exists. It’s not anyone’s fault, it is what it is. But, the system could use some major overhauls, as it is not working as it currently stands. That is why this song and dance continues and true enlightenment and personal growth seems just out of reach. Some people try very hard to work from their hearts and they still seem to get caught up in that world. I have watched the evolution of some of these practices and most start out with pure intentions that just get corrupted over time. Things change, people evolve in one way or another, process catalyst in their own life, etc, and what they share with the world evolves with it. That is why I said that the ego must always be kept in check so you can make the best decisions possible in a system that is terribly broken while it has an opportunity to heal into something more beautiful.

You can learn something from every single interaction, from every good or bad piece of information or experience that comes your way. You have to practice discernment within your own spiritual practices to be able to recognize the difference more clearly. Not everyone has gotten to the point where they are able to recognize when they are just being emotionally manipulated in order to sell a service and who is actually compassionately trying to make a difference underneath the guise of a corrupt monetary system that currently runs our society. It can be very hard to tell the difference for some and I find it very heartbreaking that so many people have gotten manipulated by these people.

I did a lot of research and found stories that just broke my heart. There was the one about Bentinho Massaro who had someone commit suicide at one of his “healing” retreats. He still has a ton of followers regardless. He uses the Law of One and the Wanderer concept to sell his messages.

Or the posts I read on Reddit about Teal Swann controlling and abusing her followers. She even has a documentary out that shows her putting people through “healing trials” which to me, looks like straight up psychological torcher. She is doing this to people who PAY her to spent time in her presence. This kind of thing is dangerous. There has to be genuine love and compassion being filtered into these practices and should be transparent and free of corruption. The more corrupt, the less the well being of others is considered and innocent people trying to better themselves are sucked into the vortex of that corruption.

Point summary:

I live in BC, Canada in the mountains in a touristy city. It is insanely expensive to live pretty much anywhere here so I can relate to this. A ton of people make creative things for a living in this area. My sons grandmother always supports the local creative artists and is always buying him overly priced stuff he never uses. But then my son doesn’t like anything but jumping around. :smile: I think it’s beautiful and I appreciate the effort put into it, I just am not interested in stuff in general, I spent the last 6 years getting rid of the majority of the stuff I own and even more so in the last 3 months.

I do get the clear message and I sincerely apologize that my post made it feel like your creative endeavours were being targeted. I actually have a ton of respect for it, but I could never do it for a living myself because I could never get past the issue of never wanting money for anything I made that helped me heal. I always gave my stuff away because I wanted to share that healing with others. It’s the system that we are all apart of that makes these things into an industry. Imbalanced energy usually leads to imbalanced practices in all aspects of life.

I am actually looking at the larger picture here. This system is really unfair and everyone in it is suffering and trying their best to get by but so many people get lost. A lot of people figure it out in a layer at a time, but some people seem so caught up in these spiritual practices that they are bypassing living their lives in order to grow into something they are told is the best way to be.

I think the problem is that no one trusts their own intuition anymore. No one knows what is best for them but themselves.

The veil is thinning for a lot of people right now. A lot of things are coming to the surface which I believe could promote great change and growth, but that is entirely up to those individuals’ ability to remain balanced while processing the things they feel coming in from beyond the veil. It will lead to great transformation over time. :slight_smile:

Nope not really, lol but I do understand where you are coming from and I respect your point of view. Thank you for sharing it with me. :slight_smile:

I actually don’t really feel disappointment by anything anymore. :woman_shrugging: I just notice things I like to point out to get people thinking about things too as my way of sharing love with others. I don’t want anyone to go through the pain I experienced diving head first into the spiritual movement after healing a lifetime of pain either. I was fragile and vulnerable and I didn’t know better at first. I’m glad it didn’t take me long to figure out.

No matter what happens, I know that the universe has my back and I will listen to the signs that show me where it wants me to go and I will respect that when it happens. And when this life ends and I move on the next one, I know I will learn and grow from these experiences in a place of unconditional love. No matter what I experience in this lifetime, I will heal from and I will move forward, always, to whatever comes next. :green_heart:


Yikes! I don’t even know who that is…

I am not sure exactly what is involved with her healing trials, but I have seen clips of the documentary and I agree, it could be dangerous to some people…but I have also read that some people have actually had great experiences with her at her retreats and such.

While the love and compassion might be lacking, Teal was one of the first people I found on my way out of organized religion and her YouTube videos helped me see things in myself I am glad to have been made aware of. I don’t watch so much of her anymore because I don’t resonate, but every now and then the algorithm will feed me something of hers and sometimes they hit a switch in me that I find helpful.

No need to apologize.
I didn’t feel like it was targeted at all. I was just sharing a different perspective. And I feel like I understand (as best I can because our minds aren’t connected…YET!)…I have spent many decades struggling with the idea of charging for anything that I do. Even artistic things. I am an artist as well and have created various handmade, one-of-a-kind things for much of my life. My heart wants to just GIVE!!!

Over the last few years though, because of financial struggles, I have realized that unless I want to work myself to the bone until I’m retired at a job that doesn’t suit me for minimum wage (I don’t have any degrees or anything, highschool drop out) and miss out on my child growing up, spending time with my husband and connecting with people…I need to do something that my heart calls me to do and I decided to charge for it because…why not?

Perhaps we have two different types of people in mind as we communicate here. I do indeed see how spiritual people get wrapped up in money, followers, being “hip” and falling prey to the system…but I also see people such as myself who aren’t in it for the money, but use the money as a byproduct in order to be more self-sustaining in a world that wants us to work, work, work until we die. I like that I can set my own hours and with everything I offer, I feel more connected to Source and when I get a chance to interact with people, it makes it that much more richer! I love it! If I had millions I would do it without charging.

I don’t care to even make millions. I am like you, pretty minimalistic when it comes to “stuff”…although there is always more to let go of! I don’t need much money. I’m not looking to get rich or be popular, I just want to be able to make enough to be able to buy the things I need to survive.

I agree.
It’s why I share what I know from a heart center place as best I can. I spent the first 30 years of my life in immense suffering and it took me another 10-12 years to really break free and come into the light where I could actually start seeing what was really going on. To help others avoid what I went through would be awesome and that’s why I do what I do.

1 Like

I wasn’t really aware of him myself until I started doing research on cults unfortunately when I saw another YouTuber who had the same sort of presence as him. This is the article that I read last year:

I have two college certificates (Office Education/Medical Transcriptionist)) and it doesn’t seem to matter, finding work was always extremely difficult even with an education. It’s all about employment history in Canada and not what you have as an education it feels like. I know that my ex husband’s Dad was a welder for 40+ years and never had his official ticket because when they hired him, it didn’t matter. :woman_shrugging: It was only when the mill was bought out by a different company that they required him to get his ticket. So did it really matter that he didn’t have it in the end after 40 years of employment with that company?

I recently found the need to find a way back into the work world myself with a 3-year old son who is extremely demanding and his father working full-time on strange shift work so juggling child care is almost impossible… AND I have a huge gap in my employment history (personal issues, helping out my parents, moving, moving and more moving, then having a baby and raising that baby…) so it makes it rather difficult to find a job. It doesn’t matter that I have zero issues with any job I ever get, I adapt incredibly fast and learn very efficiently. But because my resume doesn’t show any recent job history, I get passed on for employment often. When I lived in the city, I once applied for over 200 jobs and had only 3 interviews from all those applications. I was qualified for the majority of them educationally too.

Once again, I’ll say, “The System Stinks!” It has not been created in a way that is loving to everyone. If anything, it’s rather unloving to most. It puts you in an impossible situation that requires rather creative ways to find a way out of. And even then, sometimes without community, support, and love, you are just stuck.

These are all just symptoms of the larger issue of imbalanced energies in society.

Yes I’m definitely talking about those who are out to harm/hurt others through manipulation and lack of personal responsibility. I’m all for creative endeavours, as they are incredibly healing. :mending_heart:

Being connected to Source makes everything worthwhile. I just talked about that in the Creativity thread that was just started today. :slight_smile: When I was making art on Photoshop or videos on Premiere Pro, I’d spend hours upon hours fine tuning my creations to the point where time just disappeared. To be fair, time sort of “disappeared” completely for me when I had a big awakening last year, but my consciousness “gaps out” in a sense when I am extremely focused on something.

I feel when this happens are in a place of pure awareness and it allows you to see beyond space & time. I think that is why I feel music and other creative endeavours actually transcends time, because you have to access a very deep part of the mind to create these things, and sometimes I think the mind isn’t involved at all. I never know what I’m going to make when I make most of my art. I just pick up my tool of choice and see what comes out. Sometimes I have a feeling that needs to be expressed and I make something until it expresses that feeling in a way that gives it the honor and respect it deserves for healing, personal growth and creative expression.

So that would make you… 42? Douglas Adams said in “ A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” that the answer to everything was “42.” I thought about this when I turned 42 a week ago. Maybe 42 is a magical age? I guess we’ll see. It doesn’t matter how long or little it takes for us to get to where we are going, its the journey that counts, right? And the best part of that journey is having those to share it with who understand.

I understand the immense suffering part… I am truly sorry your life has contained such sadness. I can relate deeply. My life has been rather difficult but it’s completely turned itself around in the last 7 years. Where I am now makes all the pain worthwhile, because I got to the point where I am finally strong and can live in a place of an open heart.

Thank you for this interaction, I appreciate getting the chance to connect with you. :green_heart:


I turned 43 in December. I left out one year because my 42nd year was THE MOST transformative year in my life so now, I SEE like I have never seen before! Nothing physically miraculous has happened, its all internal and I feel like a flower coming i to full bloom!

So, maybe 42 is magical!?

Thank you for your thought…but I am not sorry at all anymore. I used to be, I used to suffer with guilt and regret and grief…but this journey not have happened without all the experiences . I am truly, truly greatful for even the worst of times because it caused me to use it as catalyst to push me i to higher realms that I had no idea were even possible!

I appreciate the conversation too! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


so powerful AAR :green_heart:


Part of this thread reminds me of the idea of the Gaussian curve’s prevalence in nature. For example, the status quo herd mentality might be the peak of the curve where most people find comfort in numbers. The tails of the curve might be fewer people somewhat marginalized from the status quo crowd who feel alienated and n some way or another.

Another part of this thread reminds me of the idea that maybe if we can articulate how it is, maybe we come closer to expressing and externalizing some truth so we can release it and let it go - trusting that you did your best in working through whatever catalyst was confronted.

Sometimes when feeling stuck, whatever seems to be antagonizing might be a reflection of something analogous within ourselves fragmented that needs integration attention.

Spiritually they say energy flows where the mind goes, and there’s things like Reiki practice that can help independent of say, trying to find some logical solution that fixes whatever seems broken.

Lastly I ponder three primordial principles: freedom, love, and wisdom. The idea of expressing and letting go can enhance freedom - The Choice as an archetype without a lot of baggage, give stuff away.

In the writing realm, often times paradox can help by elevating perspective to greater holistic perspectives.
What might be a paradox here? What is the most valuable thing that is freely accessible? I don’t know, maybe the Law of One? How do I find contentment in chaos or how can I act chaotically content? Isn’t that like angsty writing that blows off steam?

Words can take us only so far - love is a kinetic thing more than just a concept to ponder. Bodhicitta is like a heart meditation. I think one of the underrated concepts of the Ra Materials is the idea Jim did some stabilizing meditation that enabled Carla to go OBE. If you ponder how chock-full of wisdom that went down - I’d argue there was a chock-full of love to balance it, like wow! So if the writing seems like a rabbit hole going nowhere, maybe that’s a call to stop writing and make love, or find beauty somehow in your heart kinetically somehow.

The World, as a great path of the spirit archetype, might suggest a poet and a muse - such relationships are quite delicate and require special attention to arrive there. I think part of Ra’s warning not to try and go it alone likely relates to the idea the spiritual body is shared space of relationship that cooperate collaboratively in harmony.

I’m sorry this OP is suspended, as they raise multiple excellent points about the “spiritual industry” and the consumerist spin with which it attempts to commodify the most intimate and meaningful parts of our lives. It’s something I’ve faced first hand myself, and yet I’m grateful for it. I’ve never felt my feet more on the path than right now, and it’s funny how that coincided with walking away from a group that I previously felt like my salvation depended on. There was anger, betrayal, lies, and confusion — and yet, all of those negative things became transmuted into gold as that felt urgency of the need out there, of the need within myself, put those yeasty emotions to good use, building true community. Not to form a new organization, but just to try out a new model that is more like a family, or a“seeker’s labor union“.

It’s OK to be disappointed by what’s on offer. No book, NPO, teacher, whatever can get you there because it’s not to be purchased with currency earned on the market. It’s earned with seeking and calling. That way, we can appreciate these resources for what they are without needing them to be everything for us.

Thanks, funky froggie. :green_heart: