Your teachings are clear and easy to understand! I really like the vivid metaphor of “flying to the moon,” and I sincerely thank you again for your guidance.
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Thank you Hod, yes in the way I used the word, ‘fishing’ is a metaphor to reveal. To seek, to dig, to find “What’s under this old storyline, old storybook?” of your recent fear and pain.
After reading your long story, I think it might benefit you to undergo some hypnosis by a skilled practitioner. Have you tried a self led past life regression?
Did you see this book, in Chinese posted here? It does seem similar to Law of One material.
You are not alone Hod. The solo path of Love recovery, is as supported as the group development style. Have faith that you are much stronger, and much much safer and protected than you may feel consciously. Do not fear the mind, for there is an ancient training, in you, and you know the way home.
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While exchanging ideas with you on the forum, I couldn’t help but take your words as a kind of unseen guidance from fate, because they made such perfect sense. Dear friends, thank you so much for finding the Chinese version of the book for me. Its content resonates perfectly with my current situation, and I feel an indescribable resonance and enlightenment!
My recent fears and pain stem from the fact that I am already dead but controlled by negative polarity, and because of my existence, the “negative beings” within me (“existing,” or simply imaginary enemies projected from my inner fears) influence and harm me and those around me, making me a negative conduit affecting the earth. These are my fears, but not necessarily reality.
I was previously in a vicious cycle because, as you saw in the story, what I feared became “real,” or what I thought was real. So, I responded daily to the voices I thought were guiding spirits, letting the pain and fear snowball. Your presence acted like a brake, an unseen hand, gently parting the clouds.
Friends, your advice on self-guided past-regression is astonishingly accurate! This is a mistake I’m ashamed to talk about. As I type this, I feel a fear, a fear that speaking out will invite your disgust. In fact, it’s not that you hate me, but that I hate myself. During that prayer to my Higher Self, I did ask Him to do this… I mean, to penetrate the veil of oblivion. I simply threw this irrational idea at Him without thinking, and of course, it failed. I seemed to see several flashes of white light, and my heart ached.
I strongly agree with the suggestion of hypnosis because my memories of this life are somewhat hazy and confused. The stories I’ve recounted are written with the help of my previous scattered diaries; many things I had even forgotten, only remembered when I saw those notes.
In any case, as the book you quoted says, I haven’t resolved my inner problems, and so I continue to drift in the illusion of time. Even though I seemed to have truly seen the white light of “death” before, I believe I am far from graduating, dying, and having true love. I’ve decided to first restore peace to my heart and walk this long journey more patiently and slowly.
You’re right, I’ll always have protection and guidance by my side, and I can’t be afraid of my own heart. Thank you for being in my life.
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In service to the distressed Hod, I am bringing forth some old writing from my archive. Although I have not opened it in years, I felt drawn to it, and a quick scan felt it was supportive, or would be of some help. Slightly different tempo (a 7 and a 10 syllables) but still useful if you can excuse the exploratory nature of the verse. Expressed undated in 2013, one feels orange (The school gates) and one yellow (Indigo team).
The School Gates: Light Beings are called within!
You are Powerful inside,
You are Light you cannot hide,
You are Love and it can flow,
You are Worthy and shall know.
Many have been here before,
Many are confused or poor,
Many are still fast asleep,
Many wells of fear are deep.
We can combine to sing out,
We can be heard have no doubt,
We can be brave as a team,
We can change the darkest dream.
Love and truth we celebrate,
Graduates we do await.
An Indigo Team is not just a mortal dream.
An Indigo_Child sings out to the world,
To share his hopes and fears and dreams of light,
Tempered through life’s forges a truth unfurled,
This call from the heart of a Starseed bright.
Alone in the desert of a parched land,
No watery Grace except his own soul,
To bring the melodies that would expand,
The memories we keep within our whole.
An ancient being come to Earth once more,
Still murky shadows and yet much is new,
Remind me what indigo came here for,
Was it replace the old we all outgrew?
An Indigo dream stretches far and wide,
With planetary healing songs inside.
~ From one Indigo to another. Thank you for the Light you are.
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Your poetry is filled with spiritual beauty; my heartstrings were touched as I read these words, and confidence and joy welled up within me, filling my chest.
Thank you for this intangible and priceless gift. It took effect the moment I read it, and it will continue to move me every time I reread it in the future.
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I offer it only as a mirror to assist you to process and let go of old fears. I have been practicing to be a conduit for the light for some time, but I am a humble, normal man, with fears of my own to deal with, just like you. Think of it as Bartholemew would say “I come as a brother” or “Reflections of an elder brother” and I caution you to never, ever put me or anyone else on any kind of pedestal or higher than your own great light within.
You are the Creator - in training. There may come a day, Hod, I come to you and ask you for wisdom, for something I cannot work out. Maybe we can on that day, work it out together.
The old system we have all (as a consensus) outgrown is specifically that - of needing any intermediary between us and the Golden One. Go within. You have everything you need within.
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I do tend to look up to those I believe in, which is a kind of prejudice because I don’t see them as they are. I should learn to look at myself and others as equals. Thank you, my brother. I hope we can both support each other and find our own answers along the way.