I want to give up seeking the Creator

I’ve been meditating for 3 months, and my life quality is just deteriorating the more I meditate. It just feels that the problems in life don’t get solved, and there are more and more problems started. Existing problems get worse. Worst of all, I’m starting to feel that my efforts on meditation can only make my life even worse.

How to do the meditation so that I can reverse this situation, and make the problems in my life easier? So that I can actually get progress in the seeking?

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When we start working on ourselves, we start becoming aware of all the work that is needed. We repressed many things and when we finally open ourselves up, things start coming back up to be processed.

You could ask your guidance to help you focus on one aspect at a time. The other problems can wait, we have all the time in the Universe to work on ourselves.

The issue is not really the problems per se, it is your perception of them. So tell your guidance that you wish to work first on your perception. Set your intent for this, then your meditation will start serving that purpose.

Once this is done, you’ll have a more helpful view of what are the next steps.

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Your feelings are quite understandable. When we begin to get clarity, the first things we notice are how out of alignment we feel with things both internal and external. But, when you think about it, although this doesn’t feel so good, ultimately it is quite a useful skill, developing a keener sense of where one is at.

Given that, the next step is to clarify your goals, to hone your sense of where you want to be. The “problems in your life” will appear to become less potent as you become more in alignment with your deep desires, that is, working on the things you chose to do during this incarnation.

This is actually a lot harder than it sounds because you are living in one point of reference (that of which you are currently aware) and having to define your goals using a different point of reference (that which you perceive internally, but just barely). Ergo, the succeeding steps along the path involve becoming progressively clearer as to the beauty and love you now just barely perceive internally, and setting your guidance system in that direction.

The more you are able to do this, the more the skills you are currently learning will be helpful. In other words, the more clearly you see within yourself that which you wish to become, the more useful it is to notice when you are in or out of alignment, both internally and externally.

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Now I understand - I’ve done way too much STS in the past and the effects are all coming back on me during meditation.

You’ve made meditation seem harder than I previously thought. I thought you just needed to focus on your breath. Now you’re saying that you need to focus on one aspect at a time and you need your guidance system. These types of stuff betray the orginal meaning of meditation - that is, to rewire your brain to think in a new way.

It’s more about asking your guidance and setting your intent before meditation. Meditation itself is just silence, you let your thoughts come and go until it quiets down. It’s in the silence that the magic happens. But we are completely unaware of it. It will just slowly change the flavor of the everyday catalysts that comes your way.

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This raises an interesting question. Is what I think or what you think particularly meaningful or important? I suppose it is if you identify self as the quality of your thoughts. Personally, I identify self with the quality of my collaboration with spirit guides and helpers. The stuff which I think is secondary. The beauty of thought-being is secondary to the beauty of spirit-being. The meaning of meditation for me is spiritual communion. But for this to be enjoyed, I need to go past my thinking into my being.

This not the way everyone is oriented, however.

My Friend,
I hear your suffering, we all walk a different path, know that everything you could ever seek is deep within you. You have done nothing wrong, and you have lived your life exactly as you were supposed to. Things do get hard, but know, have faith, that in your pursuit to find an inner peace, you are exactly where you were meant to be, right here, right now. The world around you, does not define who you are.

I was once given a message when I was feeling lost…
“You are who you are, and because you are… it doesn’t matter”

Look further…

if you feel a resonance with my words you are welcome to talk…
I am happy that you have the courage to speak so openly of your struggle, no doubt you will find answers of love.

No, that’s not what I want to ask… I know that seeking the Creator is important, but the problems in real life just get harder and harder to deal with the more I meditate. I’m asking if I’m doing anything wrong, because these types of problems probably will not be caused by a proper method of meditation.

But the catalysts just get tougher. What use is having undiscriminating, blind faith, if everything that is caused by this process only makes your life quality even worse? You can’t expect it to turn the other way around if you’re going in the wrong direction, could you?

Can you be sure it is the meditation that is causing the effects…?
Or is the meditation bringing an awareness to it…?

Are you clear in your meditation, or are you manifesting anxiety… that which we resist persists…

Perhaps there is a path to be found in and amongst the chaos…?

I do not claim to know the details of your situation, or what you speak, but I do understand some difficulties from my own perspective.

To me this sounds like forgiveness of self?

My apologies if I am off the mark…

These difficulties started to manifest the moment I decided to meditate. And problems got even more intensified from that day on.

To me this sounds like forgiveness of self?

My apologies if I am off the mark…

I’m saying that if you use faith in a wrong way, in a way you’re not even aware of, it can cause a lot of problems.

Actually, after I thought about it, I was just living in my own fantasy of exaggerating the intensity of the problems in my life. These problems are not that serious, actually. Thank you for all of your advices.

@Patrick Participating in the forum is meaningless, and purely a waste of time if I were to actually digest the publications myself. I want to deactivate my account.

From Dec 12 - Dec 13, there is 12 creators talking with each others.

One of them is looking at the progress it made so far.

The direction is only oriented from the origin of oneself.

You are seeing forward, no matter what.

Be…

Just be…

That is progress already…

For the catalysts… Ask for “options”

The question begins with an awareness, and it will be answered with awareness…

Rhio, what have you noticed? aware of? more suffering? not so much?

Isn’t it interesting that you noticed there “is” something in the first place?

Adonai

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not an error, each, were a different version from the last…

Your identity of a finite being existing in one vessel through a linear time… is an illusion

You could simply stop using it for the time being. This way, if you change your mind, you can just come back in the future. Otherwise, please send me a private message

I don’t know what your meditation was about, but maybe this will help to answer your question?

Aditionally I always recommend this video series, that is showing up different ways to find the way to the pathless path called Samadhi.

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You are a fractal of infinite intelligence, an individualized portion of the One Infinite Creator as is everyone and everything you see. We are the creator wearing different masks and playing hide and seek with itself. If you look in a mirror or any reflective surface, you will find Creator staring right back at you, you are that which you seek. Surprise!!
You must know and be forewarned that, the path to enlightenment is not for the weak, it is truly a destructive process. It will take from you, the people, places and things that will no longer serve your higher purpose. You WILL lose friends, family, jobs, material possessions, whatever it is that may hinder your progress or serve as a roadblock in your journey to higher consciousness, so be ready for that, learn to let go. Be aware that this process will break you, in order to rebuild you an upgraded version of self. You will be put through the fire, like gold ore, so that you may be refined as the chaff of unhealed traumas, useless programmed dogmas and obsolete paradigms may be burned away and removed leaving only the precious being that you are in the crucible.
Pain is a purifier. Catalyst is opportunity to gain knowledge and understanding which, when brought together, equal Wisdom.
Enlightenment is absolutely NOT all love and light.
All catalyst you are currently experiencing and will experience, indicates to me that you are entering the phase called “The Dark Night of the Soul”, that every neophyte must go through sooner than later. I strongly suggest that you research exactly what it is you’re getting yourself into, so that you’re not blindsided by it.
Don’t forget that you have all of us here to help you however we can, when you do ask for help, advice or tips. Take courage in the fact that you are never alone, your Higher Self is always there to point you in the right direction through intuitive perception( that gut feeling)
You also have an army of friends and helpers in the inner and astral planes, like our brothers and sisters of Sorrow, those of the Confederation. But you must ask for help, they cannot meddle willy-nilly in your affairs unsolicited and infringe on your free will, you have to ask for help, strength, wisdom, solace, whatever it is that may be of benefit to your purpose. Learn to listen to the silence, what the ringing in your ear/s indicate, perceive the omens and recognize the synchronicities that are the compass that will help get you back on track.
Ok that’s enough out of me for now. I send you good vibes of Love, Light and Clarity, other self. Adonai Vasu Borragus :yellow_heart::sun_with_face::point_up:

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I don’t find any of the replies here to be actually helpful. I’d like to copy a quote I’ve read that I find helpful:

People may learn quickly, they may learn very slowly. They may spend an entire incarnation declining to learn, but they will not lose what they have learned before and there are an infinite number of chances to learn again. For the Creator is truly compassionate. It is only you, my friends, who are so judgmental. We ask you not to build the Creator in your image but to build yourself in the Creator’s image insofar as you can. Giving love, giving a kind ear, giving a gentle thought, perhaps simply giving a refraining from negative answers and above all, remembering to sow the seeds that the Creator has given you to sow when you feel that the ground is fertile. Never forcing yourself on stony ground, upon sand, but always responding to the question, to the interest, to the wonder, in such a way that that person may be alerted to the thought that there may be more to the life he is now experiencing than he had previously thought. It is this inspiration, my friends, that we hoped to give you and ask you to share. For each of you has talents. They are not yours, they have been given you by an infinite Creator. Each talent is different and each one creates a responsibility. We ask you to use your talents in love and in compassion. To do this, you must meditate, for there is no other way to remember the excellence of the name of the Creator. Not in the world, my friends, where things are not upon the surface entirely excellent. You must go beneath the surface and find the world of the Creator and the law of love which totally annihilates the world of man and the law of power.

Another quote:

My sister, we would answer you by saying that to seek the love of the infinite Creator in each moment of your life is the greatest service and the greatest learning that can be accomplished upon your plane, for it is the lesson of this dimension to discover the love of the Creator within all that is experienced within the self, within the life, within the family, within the community, within each activity, each experience and there is, shall we say, an infinite amount of time to discover this love.

We feel we might be of the most service by affirming that, indeed, the purpose of each experience is to find the Creator. The finding of the Creator may occur in various ways. The beginning for some people is to see that Creator and to find the Creator’s love within another being. Yet each being and each experience that one encounters is a mirror. One will finally see the self within that mirror. If one has been able to see the Creator in that mirror, one may then see the Creator in the self. Others, on the other hand, may begin by finding the Creator within the self and then radiating that image onto the entities and experiences that it encounters. The finding of the Creator …

The most helpful quote for me being this one:

When there is catalyst of a distracting nature, whether mental, emotional or physical, this catalyst may be seen as a means of reminding the spiritual seeker that there is still a distance to be traveled in order to realize the spiritual quality of any catalyst that might occur to one within the third-density illusion. This catalyst is that which has as its purpose a reminder that there is a great deal more to one’s life experience than the experience of the catalyst. One may, as a means of self-discovery, move within the meditative states and see how the catalyst of whatever distortion is manifesting is becoming a potential for a further realization of the spiritual journey.

If you ask in meditation, what is the purpose? What is the solution? What is the fruit of the catalyst? There is the possibility that that still small voice within which is the Creator will respond by giving you the overview, the greater picture that exists within each person’s life, so that you may put into perspective the catalytic effects of whatever distortion you feel in mind, body or emotions, and find that there is yet, and always will be, the primary spiritual effort to seek and serve the One Creator in all, including within the self, and to go forth in whatever way is indicated most helpful for you by that still small voice within.

Each has this ability to utilize any catalyst of difficulties and distortions that one may experience upon the spiritual path. This is the means by which such may gain understanding and reunification with that spiritual journey that one is on at all times.

Your mind is very plastic and subject to infinite confusion and self-deceit. You do not mean to deceive yourself. We understand that it is involuntary and unintended, but every assumption, every cultural truism, every authority, everything in fact that is not coming to you at this moment needs to fade away from the spiritual seeker.

Certainly meditation, contemplation and all of the rich array of mind tuning techniques can help you. But sometimes the best resource is a good laugh and a realization that not only are you an object of ridicule, silly, wrong-headed and erroneous, but that that is fine; that is funny; that is the human condition. Feel the judgment and the tension fade away.

When you do realize at last the beauty of this completely rounded life you live spiritually, dark side, light side, dark side, light side, then every turn of the spiral helps you to rewire yourself.

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Rhio, greetings.

If you want to go, just go.

Love you brother and be well.
See you around, in this life or another, in this density or the other.

You- UsernameWho

That is a pity.

How this corresponds to the title of the thread " I want to give up seeking the Creator" ?

Indeed it is difficult to solve the current situation with meditation in the world.