This post was prompted by feelings I have had for a long time, and in fact most of what I have ever done on this forum has been an attempt to escape these thoughts and think about how I am healing my soul. In reality, I just did not notice the hole in it. I am the kind of person who is constantly searching for something, and I think what made me that way was the constant desire for security, because the world seemed so alien to me since I was a child, and the constant desire to learn something new gave me a feeling that I would understand how to survive in this world. I wanted to feel like I could find a way to cope, and looking at the people around me, I knew that this way would not be in everyday affairs, and not in conversations with people, but somewhere completely different. I saw what people prefer not to notice, and I noticed that I was not the only one living, literally deceiving myself. What kind of self-deception is this? I have been immersed in reading all sorts of spiritual materials for a long time, and almost all of this, if you look at it honestly, puts a person into a state of sleep. And to explain this, I will start talking about it as it is, without the “beautiful presentation” that I previously demanded of myself to do. There are a lot of things I want to say and I do not know how best to start this post, so I will just start and please try to understand what I am trying to say.
As a person goes through life, there inevitably comes a moment when he realizes that he has been lied to. He realizes that where he sees white, it is actually black. At that moment, a person has the opportunity to get rid of this huge amount of lies, but most people, almost everyone, will not do this, because most people have invested a lot of effort, energy, time, money in relationships, family, work, home, children, and so on. Therefore, a person cannot bear to accept that they could have been deceived. So they will do everything to find any reason or excuse to make life seem normal and without problems. There are many beliefs, such as “there is no right or wrong”, “you cannot comprehend God”, “good and evil are just concepts”, and so on. And in this case, the direct experience that a person gets from direct contact with life (suffering) is covered by beliefs, which as we will see later, are just words taken out of thin air. If you look at the daily things that people do, that is, you look at work/friends/relationships/family etc., and you add up the pure minutes that people are actually happy, and you compare that to the total minutes of your entire life, the real happiness is less than 1%. And what’s harder is the daily grind that you have to do to stay alive, to get that 1%. To understand that the ratio is really like this, you can look at a specific example of the relationship. If you look at the relationship process, you will see that people are constantly making compromises. A person is constantly doing something, even in their free time, but most of the time there is no true feeling of happiness. If you compare the amount of true happiness with the amount of headaches, efforts, the amount of compromises, nagging, then the percentage of happiness is really very small. If someone came to you and suggested doing something that would only bring you 5% happiness and 95% fatigue, you would laugh and move on, wondering who would agree to that. But the reality is that if you look at people honestly, they all get very tired of each other, and the amount of fatigue is really huge. And what makes people not look at this honestly is what I wrote at the beginning of the paragraph. In essence, it is faith that pushes a person to continue doing what he is doing, because he believes that the problems will be solved. But they are not solved. I wrote this whole introduction, if you can call it that, so that the reader has a chance to realize that people actually suffer most of their time, and stubbornly try not to notice it. The point is not that there will be someone among the readers who will find fault with why I am talking about 5% and how I calculated it. The point is that you yourself honestly calculate the ratio: how much energy I spend, how much real happiness I receive. All of us will have a very small percentage.
The more I delve into this study, the more I realize how cleverly life is designed, with a specific purpose that can be easily seen if you look at your direct experience of life. Suffering. Living causes suffering. On different levels. There is the gross way, like hitting your foot on a hard object and it will hurt, and then there is the subtle way, like moral pain. And my observation is that life brilliantly does the latter. If you take any object in life and look at it honestly, you can see how it is intentionally designed to hurt. Again, I have a hard time describing these things coherently, so I just write it as it is, even if it doesn’t sound as coherent as I’d like. Many teachings say that “life is perfect”, but people tend to twist any information to suit their own selfish purposes, such as making the information sound the way they want it to sound and make them feel better. For example, if an enlightened being says “life is perfect”, people will think that life is meant to be positive/benevolent and will not accept that there could be another interpretation.
There is no instant, easy, understandable, and always available way to leave this life.
Not for any person, entity, etc. If such a possibility to leave life and existence existed, then everyone would know about it. But if such a possibility and information is available only to a limited circle of entities, and all the other myriads of entities continue to suffer, then this is simply a real torture and prison. This concept of a safe word is extremely important because if it existed in this “place” called life, this safe word would immediately eliminate the desire of many people to commit suicide. Because if a person knows that he can leave this body/world instantly and painlessly whenever he wants, then he can choose to stay in this world for a little while longer.
There is absolutely no need for negative experiences of any kind. Suffering is unnecessary.
If there really was freedom as described in the previous paragraph, then the situation would be this: you decide to try some action, you realize that it brings you an enormous amount of unbearable pain, and you decide to stop it immediately and never go back to it again. There is absolutely no need to hurt yourself mentally and suffer torment when there is freedom. If there is no way to stop instantly and immediately without effort and any other demands, then it is just torture. And this is what people turn a blind eye to. Life is fundamentally devoid of compassion. Life is precisely to demonstrate the lack of compassion. You will always be individualized, and you will always be forced to interact, no matter what form or density you are in. And you have no instant and easy way to cancel your individualization (cancel your essence). If there was freedom to always and immediately choose an infinitely beautiful place of love, warmth and joy, then everyone would choose this one place. But since life is fundamentally and specially deprived of this, then the essence can only undergo all sorts of trials, tests, searches in order to find that place themselves. That is, if you look at life honestly, then life is a constant search for light and love, because simply wishing for this infinite place of love, we will not receive it. That is, life thus explores positive energies and the positive component of itself. But to come to this conclusion, we must admit that for this life is the most perfect and ideal hell. And the point is that the Creator is then inevitably absolute evil because he does all these terrible things, and that’s just the inevitable conclusion you come to when you look at life honestly. The essence of suffering itself is that there is always that point where you can do nothing and where you are helpless. That is, your individualization, a clot of something that then becomes part of the Logos and then further begins the game of the first density on some planet, in order to, ironically, return to where one could get to with a simple wish, if the Creator allowed it.
This is really important to realize. There are no benevolent gods, religions, special light beings, dimensions, etc, because all these realm dimension entities, etc allow so much suffering to exist. And all these realm dimension entities, etc, have been around for thousands of years and there is still so much suffering.
Next I just want to briefly write down short statements that people might make and give an answer to them. This will be like the final part of my attempt to tell about my thoughts.
“Life is amazing/perfect.”
If someone says that, they probably mean it in a positive way. And if that’s the case, they’re being selfish, because they can only believe that nonsense if they ignore those who suffer every single day. However, yes, if it was meant that “life is perfect” in a negative sense. Because life is a perfect hell, so much so that there is almost no way to find a way out.
“Whatever you do in life never brings you pleasure in the long run, that is, life shows us that nothing in life is “God” and so we reach out to reconnect with God.”
This statement misses two key points. First, why not just connect with “God” right away? Suffering is completely unnecessary, and no one naturally wants to deal with suffering. Second, even after a person sees that life is absolute hell, life will still not show him the way to freedom, whether it is going beyond the limits of life or enlightenment. In general, it will not give him any reaction.
“You can’t figure out God’s plan. No one can.”
There is absolutely no need to know “God’s plan”. It is enough to look at the results of this plan. Just look at people’s lives. If you honestly observe life, it becomes clear that everyone, without exception, suffers regularly. Therefore, the conclusion is that God’s plan is to cause suffering. This is true because suffering is completely unnecessary.
“After enlightenment you will be amazed by the depth of the mystery of life.”
There is no mystery in life because everything can be seen as it really is if you look honestly. The only thing that really amazes is the depth of evil and cruelty towards everything in creation.
“Love is the goal.”
This can’t be true because people do this every day, but thousands of years go by and nothing changes.
“Life is a game.”
Life is not a game. Games are meant to allow you to exit them, because games are, by their very nature, meant to be fun. Life has a different purpose, so people’s pain is real.
This post is an attempt to share my thoughts, and here are just the basics, although I could talk about this for a long time. And I realize that I think this is what it really means to be a truth seeker, that is, to be willing/ready to see what you don’t want to see. It feels like diving underwater without oxygen equipment. However, it is still important for me to share all of this here, where I started.
