Perhaps you need to study Vedanta a little. And to comprehend non-duality on your own experience.
Perhaps that would be interesting. Iâll find my own way back to source, in time. I donât see it as a rush. I still have desires and experiences I want to complete before that. Source help anyone or anything that tries to force my way and doesnât respect my natural path, because Iâm not about that life.
Source isnât going to get me âbackâ by being rapey, forceful, or authoritarian. Perhaps it can win me back by being loving and accepting, allowing me to take the time I need, fulfill my desires, and take a natural path back to integration with it without turning up the heat on me and trying to back me into a corner.
If I feel Iâm being backed into a corner by some âhigher selfâ or entities or source or who or whatever, I will rebel, and the process will become longer and more convoluted. Iâm not the only one tasked to prove myself. The all must love me, not force me. It is not owed my blind obedience. The veil works both ways. I must find it, and it must find me. It must show me that it is love.
(to my opinion of course) Demonstrate to the world by acting what you expect and the world will start doing the same. People are used to reflect back.
Thank you for sharing. I have had many thoughts, perhaps insights, that are difficult to explain.
Yes, meditation would help. I have been resting a lot and doing a lot of introspection lately. I am somewhat blocked from my flow of insight and intuition by a lot of stuff Iâm dealing with at the moment, yet also somewhat clearer about some things about myself. Not past lives so much, more about who I am as a person. What I want. What my core beliefs, ideals, and desires are.
As for what I was talking about earlierâŚI guess I just have some strong desires to fulfill and deep wounds to heal. I suppose I have some âunfinished businessâ, so the idea of rushing back to source as fast as I can doesnât really resonate with me at the moment. Maybe, on some level, Iâm drawn in that direction, but itâs at its own natural pace.
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Material world (and also another world such as dream world, astral world, spirit world, heaven world or whatever world) is virtual reality world / âmayaâ or illusionary.
OR
Material world (and also another world such as dream world, astral world, spirit world, heaven world or whatever world) is real.
It just a matter of âperceptionââŚ
Experience (thoughts, emotions) of experiencing within those virtual reality or real world is whatâs actually valuable and the reason why consciousness split into many consciousness unit; to experience separation.
Yes every entities will reach that state NATURALLY.
The process of attaching and detaching from the virtual identity(es) (ego and social ego) will happened naturally.
Letâs zoom in on the process of meditation as small example.
Many people think that the goal of meditation is to âsilence the mindââŚ
Well it is not, because the mind cannot be silenced, but one need to experience âtrying to silence the mindâ to come into such conclusion him/her/it self.
Yet once tried, it will then learn on how to âdetachâ from the thoughts that appeared inside the mind. From âI am the thoughtsâ into âI am the one who is observing the thoughtsâ.
Thus the same mechanism will happened with âattachmentâ and âidentification with physical bodyâ. Physical body will reached itâs expiry date and become dysfunctional, commonly referred as âdeathâ. Once that happened a realization will come, naturally, that âI am not the physical bodyâ⌠âI am the one who was experiencing through the physical bodyâ.
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Indeed 
Terminology captures our attention more than our reality.
There is a practical use of defining things, but it can also make us emotionally unavailable to the whole if we are having a deeper relationship with semantics rather than the boundlessness of immediacy.
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Hello BlackDragon.
I respect your honest expression of difficult thoughts and experiences.
This may not resonate with you, but you mentioned heavy emotions and not being able to feel that you are loved, so I thought I might share a bit of my experience in case it is helpful. Written from the trenches. Iâm still very much a work in progress.
Lately Iâve been working with the awareness of the vastness of existence, the big picture, the infinity of it allâŚAND the work to be done within the illusion. Iâve had to be aware of not using the longing for âa place beyond illusionâ as an escape or a way of avoiding experiencing difficult emotions. The more traumatic the experience, the more difficult the emotions are to face and the deeper the roots go. The inner landscape can be a tangled mess. Meeting my emotions in my body (without judgement) instead of my mind has helped me a lot. It seems that the work needs to be done in a place where the senses are âoverwhelmedâ (61.11)
Iâm finding that holding the tension between the awareness of the illusion and the difficult work that needs to be done within the illusion is my current path. A way of knowing and accepting the self. I see that as a way back to the Creator.
You deserve to feel joy. You deserve to feel love pouring out of you and into you.
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It is interesting. I´ve been always thinking why yin/yang balance does not find much response in me. I was thinking itâs looking like 2D balance. But now looking this picture I realized itâs similar to a grey balance between black and white and more looks like a dogâs sight. So being said about balance itâs possible to say about two types of balances.
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I was pondering the mantis shrimp that sees
full color in addition to polarization. Or even
the Eagle eye thatâs filtered for high contrast.
How underwhelming human vision may be by
comparison.
Thereâs some rock group called
Third Eye Blind, itâs naming related to some
witty metaphysical punk rock irony, as if
people who escape to music might open
their third eye. Like maybe the reason
humanityâs sight is relatively dumbed down
is so they might free up attention for
metaphysical vision - to see the invisible.
I pondered Helen Keller as a blind girl
born into an STS slave driver family, but
her disability catalyzed her progression
to an STO toggled state. It may be that
a purpose of disability is growth catalyst,
that enables one to say go from dog
vision into Jedi vision - seeing by sensing
an all pervading force that most are blind
from sensing.
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I will return to this, but I must comment this: from a philosophical viewpoint, you are doing well to question everything. That is the only clear path to the truth. I cannot recall the philosophers who first referenced this, but credit is not mine.
If we all knew the truth about how the universe works, I believe that the choices would seem more black and white. Perhaps not knowing how things work is that middle choice. The grey area. We have created so many fallacies that it is difficult to find a truth that resonates with the self.
I say to my wife often, I donât think life was ever supposed to be this difficult. This is why I believe we have been receiving more help since the atomic bombs were tested. It shouldnât be so difficult to live when we are supposed to be here to learn. What Iâve learned is that there is an overaccumulation of bullshit and kids donât stand a chance with how the future was starting to look. No one should have ever been allowed to be publicly killed for speaking a truth. All that this accomplished was creating fear of non-conformity. It never should have happened and forces should have stepped in to nip that evil in the bud. Noone should have to die for the truth. Too many blocks to truly living.