From seeking to living

[Nebula]

There are some thoughts I need to share. This is the only place where I can, with hope to be at least partially understood. In any other place I would be considered insane.

My seeking and beginnings with The Law of One was motivated by discovery of the most important question that was never answered for me. What I am and what am I doing here. RA gave me this answer and later I’ve learned a lot from Seth as well. They both gave me a vision of immensely large, infinite in fact reality, in which material “I”, as I understand myself, is an attempt made by a multidimensional being to emerge and gain experience in material reality. A material expression of non-material Being. In reality, which was created so that the Creator could express and realize His/Her/It/Our/Your/Their = All potential of being everything and everyone at once. Via an individualized and conscious portions of infinity, expressed in countless realities and universes, interacting with each other. Me with another person, animal, plant or even inanimate matter like chair or soap. Creator with Creator through Creator for Creator.

In any case I was very oriented on the spiritual side and my attention was devoted to seeking non-material matters. I also wasn’t very fond of my material existence and it didn’t feel right. But all that changed under the influence of this information. This perspective of Being. I was often wondering how much of “me” will be in every merge of consciousness that awaits me. From Social Memory Complex to all-Beingness of eight octave. Will that even be “me” anymore? Certainly not as I am here and now. But how then? Because if “it” won’t be “me”, then in some sense “I” will die. Cease to be.

But then at some point I stopped asking those questions. My interest disappeared with realization of how irrelevant my questions really were. At best, I simply didn’t have the capability of comprehension which would allow me to understand the answer to my questions. Answers you don’t understand are not answering your question. So I turned my attention to this material incarnation. For some unknown reason, it was Very Important for “me over there” to be “here and now” as “I”. And still is, as the “rest of me”, even as I’m writing these words, undertakes a very large effort, to keep me here as I “am”. With a sequential framework of time in which material self is propagating. Where time animates material “I”.

I’ve understood that what is “here and now” and from which I was escaping in some sense, was of Utmost interest of “me over there” and many others “over there”. Even the Creator All-Self. So I turned my attention to it, to this life and I started to play my role here. As a material man (Body) engaging material problems with non-material capabilities (Mind/Soul). But to look at other-Selves in this way is a true challenge for me. To see another human being as more than he/she is in the context of his/her material existence. I think mostly because other-Selves don’t see them-Selves as “more”. Many motivations are centered around Ego-Self, a portion of us that is oriented exclusively outward, toward the material. Its perceived worth and relations of other-Selves to it. So often material elements are so overestimated and become a measure of worth for many. Of Self and Other-Self. I have no way of communicating my understanding to such minded people. I’ve tried, but I was laughed at or considered crazy (in the “I’m worried about you” way).

In time it wasn’t important anymore. I wasn’t supposed to “enlighten” anyone. More likely to live in the context of my and others lives and grow with it, as it is a journey. But there’s always within me that this is only a scene where we’re playing our material roles. They are not meaningless nor directed - not by anyone else but us. Instead of trying to sustain that perspective of a timeless and infinite Being who is giving “me” my “me” as I know it and making it possible to last, I just started to live my life from the perspective of me “here and now”. With one difference from when I started my seeking. Now I Know that I am More. And that the death of the Body is not the end. I cannot prove it but I’m certain of it beyond any doubt. It’s Subjective Fact. This alone changed me profoundly and gave me a deeper perspective of “me in relation to everything else”. And by deeper I mean reaching beyond my material Self. That’s the best way I can express it with words. It’s like looking at everything around me in a context larger than just my material “I”. Sitting at the back seat of Self. World has a longer road to reach us and we can see it from afar.

That’s basically what I needed to share.

[TerraInfinitia22]

I love you. This is an incredible story.

I also experienced this similar discovery of truth where you then wonder “How can I apply that near me?”, particularly a lot of people have the experience of feeling deeper compassion and wisdom and then seeing the world around them with all the negativity you may find, for example, in others, no longer helping you, or being great.

The Ego-Self is not outwardly oriented, that is an illusion, lies are always only inwardly oriented because the goal of negativity is always division, lack, and control between peoples, who feel like they lack in so much, and so that, and so on, thus you get the suffering of the world we live in.

Thus, it can be easy when you interact with fear, with hatred, to come to feel isolated, and so on, as if the world is scary, dangerous, and isolating, however if you look beneath the silver linings and illusions, you will find that God is God within God all throughout God, within relationships, everything is God, relationships are God, and all expression, God is expression, there is only God, no lack of expression, no lack, separation, all these names for it, that said, there being this illusion called darkness which at the moment that you are gazing at things appears to have great power over your life, your loved ones, and others, quick note: You said, “(in the “I’m worried about you way”)” which seems to indicate to me that you have experience with people that are kind of mean, negatively influenced by these traps, which treat you in a manner that really makes you feel lack, fear, and anger at Humanity, and wanting to just say bye bye to this species and the Universe and everything forever, so if you are feeling so, that’s fine! Perhaps you even have super-negative people which are just plain manipulative, disotring, and harmful to you. - This negativity appearing to be great, in all the emotional patterns and forms it takes within our lives, however it’s really all false, there is no reality to these illusions, the goal of this separation from God world being simply to keep you down and manipulate you, it being particularly easy to enslave you in less powerful states of consciousness, though really the goal is keeping you down from accessing that full Divinity which you are, and indeed, having as little friendships, material expressions, so on, that are Divine, and not the ego’s, manipulated, this being the ultimate goal of negative polarity, to try and make your life miserable whatever you choose, negative, and in the positive too, you feel, thanks to carefully placed blocks, e.g. around having a happy external ilfe, like you don’t get such things. The goal of negativity is to prevent you from being Divine, often this being done not through negativity, but conditions.

For example, I feel this “I need to be certain that you are more. That you are beyond the world.” but why should the premise of love be that you are able to be certain? Or of being good, or so on? Then, “Why should the premise of love be not doing something, like having fun, material existence, or asking questions?”

I love you with my whole Divinity, which is all that I am, so you could say I have given all of myself to you, which is typically a romantic statement, and Divinely wish you well and say “You are love!” “Congratulations on having fun and choosing to care about who you are, God, who I am, for choosing to believe in how wonderous you are, being yourself, your happiness, and everything, and indeed, all these things, and all of God, the more you have believed in it, and the more you have believed in it, despite seeming need to look good, anger, getting things, fear, futility, failure, unlovability and other things you may be tempted by, you have believed in all of God, and supported all of God, in it’s wholeness, on it’s path, and have been yourself, indeed supporting even negativity itself, this idea, for it too is God, though in God may be a better phrasing for our understandings than being God since we tend to then assume that any of these negative beliefs may encompass the full beauty of who God is, for giving out everything you have to your very own self throughout the God you, God, live in, right this very moment.” “You are so awesome!”, and I would also encourage you to keep writing whatever here, and note that I am curious what this Divine you will do if you are Divine, if you are allowed to do anything, if all ways are fine. What would you do? That’s a question I’d love to see answered. I think when you feel happy with God, without negativity, the question of seeing others fully and caringly, and in their full self, becomes effortless, and in fact you see even more than any need to be “loving”, “listening”, could do above you just being yourself and we’ll see how that God unfolds.

Thank you. My heart goes out to you.

- With love, R. Terra Infinitia.