Dreams of going "home"

Wanderer Stories
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I only recently discovered the Ra Materials, yet in so many ways, it feels like I’m watching a movie I’ve seen a hundred times. In the past year, I finally allowed myself to listen and began to explore, believing that the messages, dreams, and thoughts I was experiencing were more than… “I’m just crazy.” So many things I’ve heard in my mind have been validated in the Ra materials, things that a person couldn’t even begin to make up. I thought it was my imagination, and finding this material finally gave me the validation I desperately needed to fully listen.

Before I had found the Ra material, I began to understand that I come from a planet of pure love and light, and I volunteered to be here for the greater good of this planet. My family back “home” is ready and willing to support my mission (through love) when I am ready for them. When I volunteered, I knew I was taking a significant risk (forgetting my true nature), and I knew at the time that I was willing to do that because of such deep love. I know that other members of my planet are here with whom I do not necessarily have contact yet. I have dreams of being welcomed back to my home of love and light. I also have had dreams for years about being able to operate in the world simply through telepathy; it feels so intense at times that I’ve struggled to differentiate between the dream and my current reality.

All of this was known to me before I began reading, and by reading this material, I found so much peace and comfort. It was a sense of finally understanding and, for the first time, being able to release the fear that has kept me confined so that I can begin to live in more love and light. There are no words to honestly explain. Finding this forum and finding this book has opened something inside that I yearned for and couldn’t ever tap into. In the past 7 days, I have experienced a breakthrough in my truth that can’t be put into words.

I have long felt that I’m on a mission here on Earth; if I said that anywhere else, people would call me crazy. So, being able to share here feels so freeing. I believe that the catalyst that was programmed for me was learning to repeatedly come back to love even when deeply hurt (physically, emotionally, and mentally) by another person. I began to embrace this idea several years ago when I discovered soul contracts. I genuinely believe that my spirit wanted to experience the most profound act of forgiveness even when faced with harm… and maybe more importantly, to share this with the people here.

I have been through a lot of pain, suffering, and abuse on my journey to this point in life. I used to consider myself a tortured soul because I felt pain so deeply, both in myself and in others. I always struggled to feel like I belonged.

Here’s a brief version of my story: I grew up in an abusive and neglectful family, which led to a life full of shame and feeling broken. I lost my best friend two years before I became a widow at 24 years old. I have been struggling with chronic pain since my early teenage years. I even attempted to take my own life a decade ago. Over the past 15 years, I’ve been on a journey of growth, where I have found pockets of faith, joy, and hope that come naturally to me, but I’ve struggled to maintain them. Trauma has wreaked havoc on all my systems since childhood, resulting in a variety of physical conditions such as Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, Endometriosis, IBS, Fibromyalgia, GERD, Degenerative Disc Disease, and Myofascial Pain Syndrome, to name a few.

Two years ago, as I was losing my ability to walk and care for myself, I struggled to find answers. I was nearly bedridden; I lost my career, my home, my car; everything in this physical world was crashing down. Until I was diagnosed with a (rare) neurological disability. I just turned 40 this year. My unresolved trauma had led to the neurological disorder.

In the two years since my diagnosis with the neurological disorder, I finally found the right tools to heal my body and mind. I began to restore my body (still a work in progress), and today, I feel as if I have been reborn and found my purpose in how I can serve. I can walk again, and I am regaining my complete independence and finally embracing life’s beauty without struggle.

I long to be surrounded by people who share my values and aspirations, as I feel that being around those who are constantly fearful and unable to experience joy is holding me back from further expansion. This includes my husband, whom I have learned to love even with the pain his behavior causes. However, I have long outgrown our relationship and feel ready to move on emotionally and mentally. I have finally come to the point where I can offer him and (others) support and compassion without feeling the need to mother him.

My story is two-fold. It demonstrates the profound impact of trauma on the body, and it reflects the power of healing available to us when we have the right tools.

I’m studying to get my Masters in Neuroscience and Trauma to better understand how unresolved trauma creates dysfunction in the body and brain. I intend to get a PhD in the subject. Alongside my studies, I have been building a business called Awakened Mom Life and my newest venture, Science of Trauma Healing, both of which aim to help others heal from their emotional wounds. Although this work has brought me a sense of fulfillment, it has not yet become financially sustainable enough to allow me to leave my toxic marriage. I was very successful in my career, which I left two years ago. So, it’s been a learning experience to rebuild my career and financial situation to that level again while prioritizing my purpose and need for self-care.

In the past few days, I have felt a calling to shift my business to better align with my purpose.

I believe I’m here to help awaken more consciousness by showing others how to release unresolved trauma and experience a deeper connection to self. Trauma is widespread, yet our modern world doesn’t acknowledge it. Trauma becomes trapped at an energetic level in the body, which blocks our ability to fully know ourselves. We can feel stuck and not know why… Being able to release unresolved trauma healthily leads to profound growth. And I now am an expert in the science of trauma healing… I want to take the following steps to bring this message to the world in a way that connects it with my spiritual passion and desire to get more love and light into it.

I dream of bringing this message to humans globally in such a massive way that it creates waves of change. This is another knowing that has come to me and feels like a calling, but I’m still unsure of the “how.” So now, I am keeping faith that the answers will fall into place, and I am listening.

When I started my business, I shared messages of a spiritual nature; now, I share from a scientific perspective. I think it’s time to weave them together, and at this moment, I’m still in the middle of figuring that out.

I felt called to share all of this here. I hope it reaches the person who is meant to read it.

Sending you love,
Kristina

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hi there, @kristinagrace. I’m so glad you stopped by here to share what you’re up to.

I had a similar response when I was first directed to the Ra Material, that of relief and recognition larger things and recognition of self. In my case, I had strong presentiments, not only of having lived through higher levels of loving worlds, but also of higher level power-amassing situations and it was ineffably refreshing to see these things explicated and organized in a sensible and spiritual manner.

So, my personal work has been a bit different from yours. In 2006 I was able to pay for a Q’uo session where I could ask questions along these lines and leave record of the answers on the internet. Interestingly, the answers that came back – after commenting on my arrogance (if you can believe that!!!) – had to do with the long term goal of balancing our one point of consciousness by accepting the full range of possible experiences.

I could be wrong, but I don’t expect you’ll find here much in the way of the human connection you wish for, but you should look at the “events” page on the LLR site (llresearch.org). They are now hosting three annual gatherings in the US and one in Europe. I’ll be attending the upcoming West Coast event.

After you read through the Ra books, if you want to study the concepts they offer in a more efficient fashion, I would recommend the following. Go tot he LLR sight: (1) click on the sun-like icon so you can read it more easily (2) click on the magnifying glass icon. This will take you to a search page where you can search by topic, not just the Ra channelings, but also the hundreds and hundreds of channeling sessions done bu conscious people (as compared to being in a deep trance state). The sessions are hard to read because the topic bounce all over the place, so if you have specific interests, you’ll find this quite helpful.

Lastly, you might give to thought to hypnosis as a healing tool, in fact, a very profound healing tool. For me, just the training alone opened up my collaboration with my inner resources markedly. For more than a year I’ve been trying to write text for a website offering my services, and this too has catalyzed immense inner clarity and growth. I’ll text you a draft because in a sense it is quite the contrast to the scope of the approach I see on your website in this sense. Hypnotherapy does not try to be scientific. It invites your imagination and intuition to become principal actors in the smoothing out of one’s emotional blockages and over-stimulations. And it leads more directly into the spiritual aspect of self. I think it could add a great deal, especially to the latter stages of what you are involving yourself in, that is, the “recovery” phase involving deeper self awareness.

I wish you all good things along your journey.

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Welcome Kristina! Thank you for sharing your story and your mission. Sending you encouragement in your work as a teacher and a healer.

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Congratulations on creating a goal that will benefit others. The how is entirely up to you. Generally, social media would be something you can try. Some people think that there is too much work involved in maintaining a place for others to visit. I have seen others post weekly and sometimes monthly. Depending on what the subject is I find myself keeping up with the latest information. I do not give my knowledge in this way. Instead, I seek others who I feel I can assist in what they are trying to figure out. For example, I am on Reddit and frequently visit r/lawofone as well as the r/spirituality subreddit. My specialty is in dream work. I have learned that not everyone will listen to my words and so I give what I know while knowing that their spirit guides will continue to lead them to an understanding. Once in awhile I will receive a private message from a student who would like to know everything. I tell them that our understanding is limited and not everything can be answered after one dream session. Other questions are involved but you get the idea that some people want to know every aspect without doing the work themselves.

There is one bit of information that may interest you. Here is my favorite channeled message about what a wanderer can expect on their journey. October 14, 2020 - Practice channeling circle - L/L Research