Dear friends,
I would like to share a reflection that has been on my mind for some time regarding the idea of working a spiritual facilitator in exchange for money.
Ever since I committed myself full-time to being a facilitator (now seven years ago…time for a change? I have always felt a fundamental contradiction with respect to this issue.
Of course, this is my personal experience, perhaps related to my own personal blocks, and I do not claim to point to any universal truth in this regard.
The contradiction, in any case, is this:
if I put a price on the things I bring into the world, it is as if I put up a gate to reach them, and my heart suffers. If my heart suffers, my creations dry up.
I have always tried to resolve this contradiction by sharing many things for free, but after seven years, I can say that this has not fundamentally resolved the friction within me, although it has certainly dampened it a bit.
I used to say that I was “truly serving” when I was sharing the things I was doing gratuitously. But how true is that if those things become a marketing tool for those who ultimately help pay you a salary anyway?
I have to say that this self-judgment is all mine. People have always offered me money gladly, some chasing me online if they had payment problems or leaving me envelopes with donations spontaneously.
Many times I have felt the urge to open all the gates and live only on donations (my heart smiles as I write this), but there is still too much fear in my mind about it, as this is now my only source of income.
In short, it seems to me that the “money” aspect has complicated things, moving me away from the lightness of simply giving when it felt right and resting when there was nothing to give. Instead, I turned this giving of myself into a job, with schedules and responsibilities–and this made me wither away.
At the moment, I am implementing a gradual transition to have other sources of income. It seems to me the easiest solution.
Maybe in the end, this is all just due to my blocks with respect to abundance and money, and there is nothing inherently dissonant about getting paid as a spiritual facilitator.
I would love to know the views of others among you who have gone through or are going through something similar.
Aho!