Hello everyone. This is my first time posting here, so I wanted to introduce myself and share something that has been on my mind for a very long time. I recently discovered the Law of One and this community, and I was surprised by how familiar some of the things I read felt to me.
I think I have struggled with a sense of not belonging for as long as I can remember.
As a child, I was actually a very happy child, independent of my circumstances. I spent a lot of time in my inner world and had incredibly vivid, beautiful dreams. My dreams felt almost like being in Wonderland. I rarely had unpleasant dreams. As I grew older and became more affected by people and the world around me, my dreams changed too. Dreams of running away, falling, and being chased gradually began to appear.
I also never truly felt that I belonged to my own family. The only person with whom I ever felt completely at home was my grandmother. We didn’t necessarily have long conversations or do anything special together. I could simply sit beside her silently for hours, or fall asleep in her arms, and feel something incredibly deep and peaceful. I have never been able to feel that same sense of belonging with anyone else.
I did feel something similar once in a romantic relationship, and losing that relationship was extremely painful for me. Perhaps because I had finally found that feeling again, only to lose it.
Losing my grandmother herself was different. I was deeply sad, but I never felt that she was truly gone or that she had gone somewhere bad. I have always had a very strong feeling that she went somewhere better. In that sense, I was at peace with her passing. What hurt was simply losing the one place where I had felt completely at home.
I am not antisocial, and I function quite well in the world. I have good relationships, I am successful in my work, I have an active life and I travel. From the outside, my life probably looks very good.
But internally, I often feel deeply tired of this world.
There is a strange feeling that there is somewhere else where I belong. I don’t know where it is or what it is, but I feel that it exists. Not knowing what or where it is has become exhausting.
I experience something similar in relationships. I can connect with people easily, but I rarely feel that a relationship reaches the depth I am looking for. Things that seem very deep to others can sometimes feel superficial to me, and eventually I become disconnected.
I only recently came across the Law of One and the idea of Wanderers. My interest in these subjects actually began with an experience involving my grandmother. She died when I was 18, but I didn’t know about it at the time. I had a very unusual dream involving her, and the following day I learned that she had died. I have always felt that this was like a final gift from her. After that, I became interested in dreams, reincarnation, consciousness, and eventually the Law of One.
I don’t know if I am a Wanderer, and I am not claiming that I am. I simply want to know:
Are there other people here who have felt, perhaps since childhood, that they don’t quite belong in this world? And if so, how have you learned to live with it?
English is not my first language, so I am using a translator to write this post. I apologize in advance if anything sounds unclear or unnatural. 
