This is an interesting query.
The difficulty we all face is that the answer is not to be found written in a book, and maybe even not on the almighty internet. The answer cannot be written because it inherently lies deeper than words can begin to penetrate.
If you accept this premise, then what? How does one approach an answer to such a deep, deep question?
Confederation sources aver that we are ALL distortions of what they refer to as the One Creator. Therefore, the recommended approach is to seek internally and smooth out all the distortions.
Of course, this is a simple answer, but the process is not at all simple because we live in a distortion within various other levels of distortion. And yet, if we are truly motivated, we can begin.
First, the personality presents difficulties because it is specifically designed to help us navigate the outer and inner distortions based upon a belief that they are real. So, the FIRST step is to work with the personality so that it remains useful in helping us move through the outer world, while at the same time we can put it to the side as we explore the inward realms.
We all take different routes to do this. There is no single approach to this, but the gist of it is to become neutral to catalyst, that is, not personally concerned. Each catalyst becomes an opportunity to face distortion and make peace with it–which is what I meant by becoming neutral to it.
The SECOND step is to then follow that Peace inwardly to its source. This is a place of consciousness where the personal begins to blend with the impersonal or the greater, encompassing Peace and Joy.
The third step, I would surmise–not having traveled that far myself, as of yet–is to blend with whatever one finds as the source of that.
I would suggest that the road to answering your own query would be to something like this. As the distortions become less and less, as the self becomes less and less personal or specified, and yet remains cogent, the sense of self being that which creates all becomes more apparent.
Best of luck to us all!