War on the heart chakra/loneliness epidemic: "radical self-care" vs interpersonal connection


This is such a beautiful conversation. It is one of these things for which I am glad I try so much to learn to converse from as much truth as possible in real life, since I can kind of try and transfer that to here.

Though, speaking of that, indeed, if everything already exists in perpetuity and every possibility is already available in the absolute, why can we seemingly not be perfect immediately?

There are really several ways to answer this. “You can’t”, “There’s some reason you can’t, perhaps of your own will”, “you are”, “You can become perfect by listening to your true self”, and “nothing is real”. Bonus points for “Only I exist, and since I am perfect, everything is perfect.”

None of these seem exciting though. None of them make me tick either.

To speak of this philosophical realm of things for a bit before pondering the bigger universal questions, I actually deal with considering "making yourself seem perfect, rather than trying to listen and be a bit humbe".

But, I have been very blessed by great astrology aspects, and by a lot of angelic help. Even if one of said two most important aspects can lead to temptation towards power, having had experience of what we’re discussing in the original post has been very helpful too.

I know what it’s like to be lonely, saddened by things, and I actually have been as such for most of my spiritual journey, and would not give up on love, and more importantly, stillness.

Listening seems to be what prevents the… modern language calls it narcissism, but I love using old terms.

A Romanian author, Nicolae FIlimon, wrote a book called “Parvenus of Old and New”.

It’s about the kind of man that attempts to rise over the ruins of those that helped them not stay miserable, and who would humiliate themselves and hurt themselves as deeply as necessary to gain power. He defines their will often as “shining like bombs when they hit the target of their aspirations.”.

In essence, the yellow ray chakra, which pertains to the social, is primarly concerned with being number one, and with impressing others. The previous quote may be a metaphor from Filimon about this tendency, though we can’t know for sure.

Modern psychology believes that we often experience a certain range of emotions only at a certain time. We can only have so many things we are learning at a given time (though if you hold faith in something, and have either help, or divine help (again, my astrology placements, and angelic help, are the reason I am here) you will remember what you have learnt).

So, paradoxally, although this is not perhaps necessary to fear this, there is a lot to be learnt. As Ra says, there are things even they don’t understand, such as the next octaves, or the beginning of the universe.

I've managed to really bring the question you're asking to what I believe is one basic question (though you can 100%*100 correct me if I'm wrong, until my ears (actually eyes and brain here) give out!):

“How did darkness begin?”

If the universe is perfect, and we seem to never have good fruit come from a bad tree, just as only good fruit come from good trees.

Even if our nature seems to be so often dark and violent, if God’s nature is absolute, then God should know this will happen in experiencing reality through the lens of time.

If you are everything, you must know everything. The truth is that all the qualities we have given to God are names for one quality, which we can best describe as “oneness”.

Thus, how can a “God” which is “one” with it’s creation do something which appears to be an act of “separation”, unless it’s desire is love.

Perhaps this is the root of the two paths, at their most essential, rather than ego and no ego, but again, we must find more about this.

The wish to find an answer to questions like these with others is, in truth, why I chose love even when I felt like darkness was the only rational thing.

Then, of course, I had to have faith in that answer a lot (my succeeding can also be thanked to someone else. My dad worked super hard to be very awesome, and, as a child, gave me all sorts of games to play with in an attempt to help me develop certain qualities in a way that didn’t involve making me do things, while also really teaching me about perseverance. I would love to one day ask him more about these things.)

Recently, what I am very curious about is where stillness comes into this. Aaron Abke defines peace as the opposite to control, and pondering that is what helped me recently in being willing to look for peace.

There are many tips I will usually give if I feel really called to, for how you can heal sadness in balance with interpersonal relationships. They are just a very organized form of a little third of my life learning. That’s not a lot, no matter how many “spins of the radar” per second I have - how much stamina and learning capacity of all sorts. Please receive this together with my appreciation, faith in you, and prayers, and the listening I am working on.

See the next post for the continuation!

Edit: Spacing, do you guys also use br elements from HTML for spacing, or am I blind to something?

If someone that was rather sad came to me, I believe sadness is, often, related to one core aspect of fear, that is actually a fear of yourself.

Some children get it later. Some earlier. If you’ve ever had the thought “I wish I was sad again, or more sad - at least I didn’t risk hurting others (though you absolutely did).” you know this.

I have not been really satisfied before being sure I have made no mistake, but through that, I have actually found that there is a very beautiful way that is exactly now becoming available.

You need a sort of community, which is mixed with wisdom. Wisdom such as:

  • Acting a certain manner requires you to think a certain way. When you try and hang around bad entourage and smoke with them, or even hang around them, you can start feeling you have to act like them, and if you’re going to act a certain way, you kind of often start thinking that way.

This also applies to changing your life for the better. You can’t just sit around and wait to feel loving.

In a sense, action is like a third part of your being.

When you put something through your actions, you’re forced to start thinking like that, and facing some of your thoughts as you do the thing. Wanting to give up; wanting to be better, and so on.

Then, what that’s going to do is bring up feelings. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel bad about the past, it’s because when you think a certain way in a situation, you sort of keep that in your mind as a feeling.

- All that ever gets triggered are feelings. It's like stepping on a plate in a game, and having the door open because you stepped on that plate.

That door wouldn’t open if you weren’t in that exact square.

Now, picture that you have a game where everyone has their own plates which cause certain houses that they walk by to open, while these houses don’t open for others.

Really, the goal of changing your feelings about something; giving up harmful behaviors, and so on, is really that less of the painful doors come open, and more the doors you would actually enjoy.

And, it’s very hard to know what houses you’d really like to go in, if all the time in your life you go through doors that are a five, or less, and have never gone through a door that’s a nine, or a ten.

There’s endless wisdom out there. What’s really necessary is just that someone at the right level (the standards aren’t too high - just opening the heart and a little bit of blue ray, teensy tiny bit, like reaching your hand into the sky on the Himalayas, getting a bit of air, and somehow carrying it back down).

And, someone that can be compassionate to your particular distortions.

There really is such a thing as ability to understand culture, and I was very lucky. (What I thought was a curse for most of my life (of course these things are not perfect love and stillness ultimately, and the creator should have a better way to do these things, but once they happen, I often try and speak of them in a happy fashion, because I really am grateful for love and stillness as much as I can, with all my being),) turned out to be quite a blessing.

Spending time on the Internet and making a few very amusing mistakes like trying to debate someone about fact figures from History (haha), and briefly hating someone because they were from a country which I later also really loved (America), which taught me, after posting - multiples times - may I add - a video of the Soviet Union conquering Europe - that you mustn’t judge someone by their government - huh?

There are a lot of character traits that are incongruent with universal truth that I had to really see and heal, and I still have more general things to change regarding how to be truly wise, rather than simply cunning and loving, without yet another key quality known as “stillness”, or, thanks to Aaron Abke, again, “listening”.

But, I am glad I experienced some very negative philosophies and allowed someone on the server I ran back then to be bullied, although I have made sure to pray for that someone since remembering these kinds of things, and to at least learn a lesson from that.

I used faith a lot to get here, in conclusion, as to how I don't experience sadness any longer, and very, very little doubt, but I had to sacrifice a lot of that love and quiet which is so natural to life.

It can happen to strongly driven by personal traits (astrology, numerology, energies at birth) pertaining to will in general types (though everyone has a purpose of their own), to be quite able to go beyond sadness/shame/absorbing pain from others, and fear/failure, but to never try and talk to others out of fear of losing their power.

This often, for me, stemmed from the assumption that I would be telling the universe a message of “I don’t believe in you.”, and while this may have been meant to happen for my little journey, perhaps it’s not too late for us to work together as a species.

It’s not too late, I believe, for us using the power that the divine and angels are giving us.

Sometimes it can happen where we doubt the angels. The other side in general.

I actually, when I was ten, was scared of aliens kidnapping me, and had to watch a YouTube video on paranoia to gather up the courage to get a glass of water at night.

But, I am fully certain that I can trust the angels. You may wonder if perhaps they are masterfully manipulating us to get around free will, or other things, but I say, "trust will never lead you wrong.", though it may not be absolute, since it's believing in love that helped me not give up on having any hope when I felt that age-old "NO LOVE".

It is that which helped me recently in a dream from which I woke with the vague feeling of having had an ayahuasca-esque experience of avoiding a certain darkness trying to suck me in, though, using that description, I’ve never taken any drugs except for sugar and, for a month, this is another story relating to my making a mistake and meditating under a bridge, psychiatric drugs, for short, the police came and at the psych yard, because I acted super nice despite being taken by police, they thought I had some kind of psychosis.

It’s a very funny story. I made one very big mistake, I think, when my body started shaking there (for some reason I feel this is not an infringement to share) after I let go of it and let God take over things, having the impulse to say: “Mom, I love you.”, since she was crying next to me, but not saying it since I wanted to have nothing to do with the mess outside, I was a bit scared of it.

The story is really interesting. Doctors with medical training thought I was unconscious, and other things. The following day I also went another mode of “Oh my God, the system actually is as I’ve been hearing.” - basically, I was kind of suspicious since I was asked to take the hospital’s pijamas (which weren’t bad, just not much vibrance of colors, if I remember right) or be tranquilized, and I also wasn’t allowed to write, and had to stay in a tiny room for 24 hours.

Anyways, back to the angels. That’s why I really trust them. They really always helped me through these things, including with actual physical signs like car plate numbers, were very patient with my occasional doubt, and also didn’t give up on my free will just because others’ went against it.

For that, for acting in a way that didn’t repeat my childhood feeling of having to be “right” to others, I am actually tearing up a bit while writing this.

You don’t have to trust them, and there are either demons out there, or angels playing the role of demons to teach you things in a safe environment (I don’t know for sure…)

Still, they’re pretty awesome!

I actually teach so much and try to understand things a lot, which is nice, but I forgot I actually really liked to talk this openly by default.

Thank you. I truly believe that by default, honesty is rewarded. Some rather deep spiritual virtues or the like may be difficult to attain, and that’s why I believe everyone has a unique purpose and journey.

It might be my purpose to understand all these things, and some practical subjects also, for grounding (if you can’t do a bit of math, where are you going trying to understand Quantum Physics??), but it might be someone else’s highest and purpose to translate ancient Latin works into English and bring to the area of said books a cross-disciplinary intellectual understanding.

Say, to give a concrete example, that you translate the book “Etymologiae”, a seventh-century book by Isidore of Seville, an archbishop who compiled a lot of the Romans’ knowledge, and I find in your translation, with the Latin equivalent available:

“Noli timere, tu es puer meus.” - “Do not fear, for you are my boy.”

Knowing Latin, this is actually a quote which has helped me in my journey, despite being from the seventh century.

But, say I didn’t want to learn Latin on my journey, your being happy and translating might play into an alternative purpose of my life which requires less suffering, perhaps.

Thus, your being happy and childlike, following a simpler path, is paradoxally perhaps what saves me and allows me to change the world.

Thus, our impact is possibly the same, and yours may in fact even be greater.

This is, maybe, that same paradox Ra was trying to say happened with them.

Teaching the Law of One, which is also distorted and bent for strength to victoriously control other. Helping many, and being “right”, and also being “wrong” at the same time.

Or, maybe, I am, since this is a connection that I cannot fully prove, wrong!

Either way, this is a very “highfalutin way of saying a very “lowfalutin” idea”, as Tom DeMarco would say, author of the best book ever on Structured Analysis, the science of analyzing systems (almost everything is a system) and finding better ways to do things, and selling them, and doing estimating heuristics to make up for the difficulty of estimating things.

His book is not on any book sharing free websites as far as I have seen from a quick search, but if you ever get into making a project, even though I’ve only played with this book for half a year, I truly believe it would probably save you so much time. It’s the condensed life experience of someone, in a sense.

So, this is a very highfalutin way of saying: “I am very grateful for your being honest and truthful.”

That truth is important. I do believe that it matters.

I know very little, and often feel somewhat confused about certain bits of messaging and wording from the other side, and still, there is a lot more to the world.

To always wonder about this truth can certainly help you grow, if you wish for it, but you don’t need to grow like everyone else did.

Indeed, does the Earth spin right, or left, or does it spin at all?

We are moving in a spiral through time and space, and there are many unique points. Reasoning can sometimes make us forget the broader picture.

And of course, love is with you either way!

Edit: “DID I REALLY FORGET SOME OF THE SPACING AGAIN?” - if I may, for a little, spacing is a rather amusing game. Finally, a game I can enjoy. Pff.


To illustrate my point about the ascending and descending vortices, I’ll mention the following. This afternoon while in a neighboring city, I found I had locked my keys in my car. I called for roadside assistance and they informed me that my membership had just expired. So, it took awhile to work this out.

I spent maybe an hour standing there in the intermittent drizzle, leaning on my car, with time to think. I found myself in what I’m calling a descending vortex of self-blame and concern for how things would work out.

Catching myself there, decided to approach myself with forgiveness instead of blame, and that helped a little bit, but not for long. I then turned to my metaphysical habit of tuning in to my highest and best vibration of self. I figured I didn’t need highest and best in that circumstance, but that high and good would be just fine…and I was right.

Attuning myself to that vibratory pattern allowed the vortex to easily reverse and lift the downward pressure from off my body. I found I could lose that alignment and had to keep an eye on it, and the effectiveness continued. Eventually, the guy arrived and five minutes later I was back on the road.

What’s not apparent to the naked eye in that example are the three decades of inner work I’ve done to hone and refine that simple phrase, “highest and best tuning.” I can only describe that as being an accumulated skill of reaching through the darkness to connect with the Light more and more palpably over time.

There’s the rub. In order to walk this path, you need to develop skill. Maybe that’s why Confederation folks say that it is just as difficult to develop 51% dedication to STO as it is to develop 95% dedication to STS?


Thank you. It’s important point to analyse cause-and-effect relations.

Thank you for sharing the police and doctors episode.

(From here)

Zeroes and one

Also, I believe you might enjoy this song: https://youtu.be/BWf-eARnf6U?si=YHYWdKfyNjTEdzyr

It reminded me this song :slight_smile:

Viață de ascet, viață de burlac,
Plânge singuratic omul liliac

Luna pentru el e afrodisiac

1 Like

To me, the important part is noting that my default modality has been set to the downfalling vortex. I am now in the process of choosing the upwelling vortex as my default. In other words, I’m choosing high and good tuning of my personal vibration to be my constant vibration.

Now that I see this in these terms, I can’t see how a wanderer or anyone else can help uplift this planet’s vibration without doing something like this.


I’m afraid this octave might require everyone who doesn’t see the ugliness of it from higher densities to incarnate until they do. What a beautiful thing that might be. Maybe then someone might understand me.


I also seem to have the downfalling vortex as my default modality. I think that’s actually quite normal, and I think it’s also the current default modality of the logos we find ourselves in. It’s definitely the default for Earth, and for this solar system, Maldek and Mars for example.

It’s hard for me to change that pattern with myself. What’s discouraging is that it tends to seem like if certain circumstances in my life don’t change, the best I can hope for is to just be “alright”. A lot of discipline and effort just to keep my head above water and find a modicum of contentment, when what I really want is deep fulfillment.

That’s a very important point. And this where the strengthening of will and polarity come into play. In order to rise up out of the sinkhole, we need to attune to our own goodness to such a strong extent that outer circumstances do not sway our inner convictions.

A good living example of this was Carla Rueckert. The focus of her will and her polarity were more or less blind to external distractions. She was firmly established in the goodness she knew within herself, although she might have phrased that differently.

Inner convictions are one thing. Quality of life is another. Circumstances don’t affect my convictions, ideals, and principles much. My emotional state and happiness, however, are a different story.

Hmm, I wasn’t referring to ideals and principles (such as might be derived via rationality) when I spoke about attuning to the inherent goodness of our being, This is difficult to describe. An example closer at hand might be old flofrog. When you interact with her, for the most part she will look at you and see you through the lens of her heart. She will see what her heart loves and she will play as her heart likes to play and she will embrace all as her heart embraces all.

Imagine you are seated in front of a large desk with seven computer monitors on top of it. The seventh is basically hidden by the sixth which is mostly covered up by the fifth, and that is blocked fourth, and the fourth is mostly blocked by the third. The movie on the first is so slow paced that not much happens there, but you have a very good view of the second and third monitors. So, mostly you watch the movies second and third screens.

Because old flofrog mainly watches her fourth monitor, her emotional state is not affected so much by outward circumstances. It’s just a quirk of the system that if the heart is anchored to your outer life (meaning that if you mainly meet the movie of the outer life with love), then the heart continuously boosts your spirits.

That’s what I was trying to say. If you respond to your cinematic catalyst as it is experienced in your heart, then that upwelling vortex smiles at you and offers to give you a lift, so to speak.

I hope this is a useful response.

There are entities with “backward” energy rotation direction so I do not see any issue.