Good morning Children of the law of one.
I enjoyed this thread. There is much nourishment here, and many highs and lows in feeling, and decisions of which words to use and do they have the same meaning to others. Very good.
I wish to offer a theme that may be of use to someone, as well as share some examples I am struggling with, in my one world.
Scenario 1. I work as a subcontractor and do jobs for numerous other small companies installing rooftop solar. I took on two jobs for Suzlon solar on consecutive days, a one day job and a 3 day job. There were variations in both jobs for which any other company would pay me extras. Suzlon refused, and justified his view by saying âthat is why we get you to agree to a fixed price before accepting the jobâ.
On job 1, the roof material was a decromastic type, when the job pack stated it was concrete tile. I only discovered this upon arrival. My team and I finished the job, using my spare parts for the new roof material as the ones he supplied are not suited, and would be returned to the warehouse. At the end of that day, I asked him for the standard extra for that roof type. He refused. This upset me, as the extra time taken to install on decromastic will not be financially compensated.
Having had numerous similar prior withholding of variation payments in the past with Suzlon solar I made it clear we will cease working for him. I would only be doing job 2 as it was booked for the following day, and this would be the best outcome for the customer, and even my team as I cannot line up other work at such short notice, and also for Suzlon solar as he had committed us to the install date.
Job 2 was a larger job, installing 19.2kW of solar panels on a single storey house. Some electrical variations in the switchboard were required, as well the panel layout needed to be changed to fit. Once again he would not pay variations, but did promise to âwork things out with us, just do whatever the customer needsâ to finish the installation.
Now the jobs are both finished, my company and team did a great job, the customers are both happy. But the grief this suzlon company is causing me is giving me a lot of anger emotions. I feel he is not being fair to me. He is being greedy, and not willing to provide fair and reasonable financial compensation for work performed. He is withholding the entire payment for the larger job, until I change my invoice to match his selfish low figure.
Sometimes I have thoughts of putting roofing screws under his car tyres, so when he leaves work he will feel as let down as I do in my present emotional state.
I have a choice.
I could #1 hold onto the anger and resentment. I can immerse in it, dwell upon it, strengthen it, and make new fantasies in my imagination of how I can get revenge. I can justify this angle to myself, because he is being mean and not being fair in business.
I could #2 not forgive, but move on anyway, burying the resentment and avoiding thinking about it, or him, like covering a festering wound up so you do not have to look at it. Change my invoice, accept the work price he wants to pay and allow him to âwinâ because I can see I am not going to squeeze any variations out of this stone heart anyway.
I could #3 meditate. I wonder what this one is.
I could #4 recognise my amazing opportunity in front of me. This is catalyst as spoken of in the Ra material. It is useful training material.
I could #5 take responsibility for the creation, and stop dwelling on blame.
I could #6 after #5 and #4 I could further reason the resentment stems from a fear in my own mind. My fear of my own worth not being recognised in the eyes of others, is steering this boat. As I would prefer my love for my own worth to be the captain of this ship, it would pay to recognise the fear making all the waves of resentment, acknowledge it - in meditation or reflection, to comfort and reassure my inner child that there will always be others who reject us, always be others in the social complex who are selfish, and have their own agenda, and will not be fair minded. That is alright! We are not here to judge them, but to forgive our self for feeling unappreciated!!
Reassure my inner child-self that it is alright to be angry! It is alright to want validation.
I shall go in this direction, and I choose to stop dwelling on the resentment. I feel a lot of the resentment falls away after acknowledging and then reassuring the inner me. Suppressing the feelings of being undervalued was the cause of the resentment.
In my next communication with Suzlon, I will express something like the following:
"I understand you dont want to pay for variations. I understand my expectation that variations are always treated as extras and should be compensated accordingly. I understand you push for a set price, where every other company is respectful of the fact many variations will only become evident when onsite, and will pay for them once notified. I am not asking you to change. I think you are stealing from me by having me do work free of charge, but you do not see it that way. I accept that your perversion of fairness is the way you wish to conduct business with others. I do not operate that way. We will cease doing business from this day forth. Enjoy your picnic that is the suffering of others. I wish to picnic with beings of light, and offer our fine services as a business to others that are honourable like ourselves.
I am not asking you to change, Suzlon. I forgive you to level 1. Meaning I no longer wish to punch you in the face. We can part ways, we can separate. You reflect to me, a more selfish side, than I wish to resonate to. One day I may even have compassion for you , which would be forgiveness level 10. But not today. Level one is sufficient, that is what I offer you, so that my path is not burdened by anger. I am free.
Forgivness has levels, right?
Jesus level forgiveness can be marked as level 10âŚeven when they are murdering him, he just loves them. Wow. thatâs not for me.
Level 1, stop the projection of blame. Accept they do not meet our standards.