It’s kind of a trick question because the Law of One contact, that is the ‘God’ of this space in a sense, would not criticise your poetry here.
To me personally, it does not align with my understanding of the Law of One though. I would go in a different direction. But that’s exactly how it is I am a different part of the Creator. The hallmark of the Creator is variety (54.7).
As Kenturi said. The poem states that you are taking the ‘high’ path as a service to others entity. But I think the service to self is far bigger on the ‘high’ path. It’s all about suppression and eliteness.
Also, this whole ‘breaking the chains’ thing. Again, drawing off William Blake, this is not how the negative sees things, and this is not even how I see things, although it might be in the Law of One (48.10). The service to others often end up living with the acceptance of a kind of divine oppression. Where the most domestic boring tasks become spiritualised.
The law of One does mention the service to self polarity in beautiful terms a few times. Such as when talking about the moon archetype, (80.15) and things like 77.17.
Two roads wind through the endless sky,
One holds the weight of “me” and “mine.”
The other sings with hands held wide,
A voice that whispers, “yours and mine.”
This is my thought:
Walking on the road, with a gun in your hand,
A man told me something I don’t understand, about this place.
A lion roars in some hill far away,
It’s only a few hours, till break of day, we might soon be in a chase.
So it sets up that the individual has power in the first line. So if you have a gun, you have a moral choice to make. Someone told me something about this place, so I don’t have all the information.
The lion could be a threat, we could be trophy hunting, we can make more of this polarised decision later.
Is the lion chasing us (STO wisdom, how do we stop that), or are we chasing the lion (trophy hunting, STS, killing an innocent animal).
This brings it all out in a subtle way. We can then build on this story to talk about the gains and losses in the situation. The decisions we have to make. Without identifying it directly and crudely.
Just my thoughts.
At the risk of wandering further off the path, I have a creative process question for you. Do you use AI to create your songs? If so, at any point in the process does the music come through your body, ie. your voice or playing an instrument. We are all so different, I’m just curious if that’s the case and what that feels like for you. I’m a visual artist and have always needed to feel the clay in my hands or hold the pencil or brush. I have not been able to easily connect to the flow when creating in a digital space.
These are interesting questions.