Me too!!!
And I do it all the time!!! 
Could you expound a bit for me here?
Are you saying that my seeking and complicating things in my mind is somehow giving joy, color and passion to life?
Why would a person lose that? What happens?
I’m saying that complicating things in the mind tends to actually drain the color. If, in your daily life and interactions with others, you feel joy and fulfillment, I’m saying don’t overanalyze it and feel like you should be doing something more. Don’t feel guilty for being happy.
As far as a person losing that, that tends to be different for different people. For me, I know who I am and what I want to a substantial degree, but I feel largely blocked from being able to live a life in accordance with that. Human society and the state of things on Earth block that from one direction. I don’t know for sure, but I also suspect that the way of things from “higher up” also block that. I feel like my free will and personal principles are not respected from that direction either.
Take a look at Don from LL research for example. He often said something along the lines of “happiness is not the objective”. That is the reality he created for himself, reflected by the way he lived and the way he died. I do not share that distortion. For me, happiness is the objective, but I feel blocked from being able to attain it.
So far, I’ve lived a life where my physical and material needs are mostly met, but my existential needs mostly aren’t. I’ve been worn down by many painful experiences. Searching for answers, I’ve found my own beliefs and principles, but I’ve found them to be stomped on by this world and probably the world “above”. I’ve found that most of the spiritual/truth movement and wanderer/starseed “culture” is a construct engineered and heavily manipulated by negative occultists and shady intelligence agencies. I’ve found some of the worst people I’ve met on the “spiritual” path.
I have not seen much evidence that anyone “out there”, ETs, etc., are working to improve the situation. I’ve seen a lot of evidence that the situation on Earth is “working as intended” from their perspective as well as the perspective of the Earth controllers. I feel like I’m in a game I don’t want to play, that operates by rules I don’t agree with. It often feels like there isn’t a win condition.
Think of the Grinch stealing Christmas. When the Whos rejoiced in love even though their food, decorations, and presents had been stolen, the cynical Grinch opened his heart and saw that they were not just shallow, materialistic scumbags, and that Christmas really meant something more to them. He gave their stuff back. This system…whatever this is, does not seem like that. One test might be passed, and then another is imposed. And another. Until people are broken. It seems more like COD zombies. They keep coming until the players are defeated, with the goal being to survive as many rounds of increasing difficulty as possible before the inevitable defeat.
If I could simply circumvent this game and live a life that is a reflection of my actual principles and desires, I wouldn’t be complaining so much, but I feel blocked from being able to do so. That is a big part of why my life seems to lack color. Others who feel the same may have the same and/or different reasons.
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Thank you for sharing BlackDragon.
While I have a different perspective on the way that the situations and trajectories on Earth and personal life are going, I appreciate hearing what others thoughts are.