Wow! You all seemed intrigued by me and it’s so fun to be so intrigued by you as well! Isn’t it just funny? The same abstracted arc of a journey applied to so many souls- so many timelines- and somehow we all find ourselves at this very specific place along ours? Whatever random chain of events sparked uniquely in each of our individual travels in order to lead us to this- a concept so abstract, the uninitiated would think us insane. And yet, we each are here with so much strength in our Knowing.
I think that’s just beautiful.
Anyway- I signed my last post as RK… and that’s really initials to a pseudonym. For starters, I have a very hyper-unique path and story of my time so far on Earth. I’ve found myself in a space of public consumption and exposure, in a way such that I’ve been living through an identity that I myself have fabricated for the last 2 years.
My real name is Allie. And after careful meditation, I want to move forward being known as Allie… I think it will be less deviating from my organic roots, over this other thing. And will aid in my grounding, as well as make me more accessible energetically.
So, my path: Honestly I have so many nooks and corners of this tale that all pulls together and guides me to right here and now… but I’m going to try to be brief. Because overall I really do feel like whatever “I” should prompt for interaction shouldn’t be about “myself”. But I will tell because it paints myself an individual guided to this moment, and maybe spark some curiosity or relativity toward yourself… Those greater details I could talk more about privately or in person.
I’m nearly 28. Female. Living outside of Los Angeles. Grew up outside of Los Angeles… Both my parents narcissists, and distracted by the American capitalist/consumerist survival crunch. For this, I ended up essentially raising myself… The only things I knew of the world were the things imparted to me by our institutionalized education system… And the fear in my household. My parents were emotionally-disconnected tyrants… I had so much fear…
At 19 I joined the Air Force- hoping to travel overseas… Get away from home, start a higher education, get a leg up financially…
The portion of my story that was the Air Force is a large one. I’m keeping it brief here- omitting so many details… I signed up for 6 years, yet only served 3 due to a traumatic event (or maybe rather series of). I was medically retired and moved back outside LA… I never got to go overseas. Never completed college courses. Didn’t come out ahead… All I got was trauma- although I absolutely stand by this trauma being worth more than itself in gold for the way I was able to use it as building blocks toward something greater. Never would I have the power and control I do now of my mind had I not had the obstacles to overcome.
My traumatic exit from the service led me into therapy… Therapy led me into realizing the absent cruelty of my youth… This realization led to the healing of my inner child. The healing of my inner child led me to becoming more connected to myself than ever. This power, priceless.
All the work I’ve done on my mind- facing and healing my past, overcoming anxieties and traumas, teaching myself coping mechanisms and making my own self a safe place- propelled me swiftly into an interest in psychology. In knowing that if I could do this… I could teach anyone to.
All the while this abstract healing is happening, I had started a new job back home in LA. I did this for 2 years- managing automotive collision repair- and lost every ounce of the soul I had. Constant people pleasing, manipulating and influencing others, wearing the mask of service work… I put in a 30-day notice without having anything lined up for myself- jumped without a safety net- because I knew I needed to. I wasn’t aware of this terminology or concept at all, but I was so far outside of my truest alignment that something in me was rejecting the reality I tried to force on myself. Anyway, jumped without that safety net… and 3 days later… the Pandemic.
The Universe! A plan! I was able to get on unemployment and wow, enjoyed occupational downtime for the first time in nearly a decade. And the timing? Perfect. I had just been sparked into exploring spirituality, psychology, philosophy, and holism. The pandemic offered me a place to engage my intellect in these fields… To explore curiosities and learn everything anew. One thing kept leading to another, which led to another, and then another… Soon, I had explored Buddhism, Hinduism, mindfulness, Omnism… And so many other niche streams that all of these things led me toward and around and through and… You know how that goes, right? Of course.
This was almost 2.5 years ago that this track started- my journey into the practices and ideologies in a pandemic. I had also finally explored the realm of psychedelics around this time as well… Doing mushrooms for the first time really worked me up intellectually. It pushed and fueled me. The introspections and extrospections I experienced had my mind ignited… To an extent.
I add that last piece because nevertheless, it was the pandemic- a depressingly unstable place of unknowing… I had a drive to enjoy life, sure, but I couldn’t get myself to focus or follow any structure. I sat down one day and worked to making a list- something simple- of things I need to do in the morning so that I get on track for a productive day…
I sat down to make this list, but instead something else came out.
Next thing I know, I had filled a college-ruled page front and back full of guidance and advice pertaining to organic human living and mental management. It was all of the coping skills and affirmations I never received in my upbringing- or frankly anywhere else in my life. I know it was a brain-dump of myself working through all of the things I had been learning in the time recent to that space… but I also believe it was something I channeled. Something I picked up somewhere and was guided to produce it. Oh I called this my “piece of crazy paper” and started sharing it with the abstract spiritually-minded persons in my world… And they all loved it.
I realized that this gift I was bestowed was part of my path! I was given this information in order to pass it on. All of the information I learn- the things that make me feel aligned, capable, and whole- are things that I must pass along.
I started developing a wellness brand from this. Based around art. I haven’t mentioned in this tale that in my youth I was undeniably drawn to art and creativity, and so it made sense for me to tap into that power to make art teaching these wisdoms and affirmations, and expanding on them with lessons in order to get the information out to as many souls as possible. On top of this pursuit, I decided I would produce and host a podcast- to bring guests on from all places of life to talk conversationally about things they’ve gone through and how they’ve overcome them. I think the key to breaking into the hearts and minds of others is expanded empathy- we need to show others they aren’t alone or alien (haha) for the things they feel or think. Or for their general unknowing. We need to relate by the shared human experience.
I haven’t quite climbed the top of those mountains yet- producing my projects- but I’ve put a lot of miles between where I started and where I am now. Soon after I shifted my focus toward this goal, the reality of financial instability set in… This project, no matter how much of my heart was in it, was simply not immediately profitable. I had to return to the work force.
And I have another whole story with nooks and crannies full of details underlining cosmic guidance and divine timing… but I’ll cut to the chase. An opportunity presented itself to me and at 26 years old with my military experience and spiritual expansion behind me, I knew I could really make this thing work for me. And this is where the social disconnection begins…
Bear in mind I’ve a 145 point IQ and so much loving awareness about me…
In April of last year I started living through my pseudonym. In April of last year I started performing in adult entertainment. Yeah… I’m a pornstar. I present this information this way simply due to the social condemnation and perspective cast toward sex workers. But I stand by the field. It made sense considering my open and vast sexual history, mental fortitude and stability, and business-minded capabilities. At 26 years old, and only months after I began performing, I established myself to such a point of popularity I had been repeatedly nominated “best new starlet” through 2021… I suddenly was able to work simply a handful of days each month, able to financially support myself beyond any means I’d reached in the past. And all of this free time I now had? Became free time to chisel away at my projects and journey.
I mention the stature I reached in the industry not out of ego, but rather to underline another point. You have no clue… When I was operating solely as Allie, I had maybe 1,000 followers on my social media. And now, across all of my social media, as this fabricated persona, I have the means of reaching over 125,000 persons.
And these people love my mind. These people love my thoughts. These people believe in my heart and all that I have to teach… Just in sharing thoughts and abstractions through my Twitter feed and Instagram stories, I’ve jarred some people into new timelines and healing. I receive these heartfelt DMs from time to time from real people who tell me these tales of how they’ve expanded their human experience after being provoked by me.
I was meant to come to this place.
Underline the whole story above- this is me. I know it’s long, but mind you I’ve also left so much out haha. This path of mine, man… It’s absolutely surreal.
Somewhere in my spiritual exploration in pandemic summer of 2020, I came across this quote by Ra: “Increase your service to others and be more loving to yourself and everyone in order to raise your vibrational consciousness level. Forgive yourself and others (thus releasing karma). This will change the vibration of the planet, raise the shared consciousness of humanity, and change humankind one person at a time. Treat your body as a temple and change over to a higher vibrational diet to aid in the process.”
I was shook upon this finding. It resonated so deeply and reinforced EVERYTHING I had just explored and validated in my studies and practices. It felt so aligned with the things I had channeled that one day… Finding it was truly a gift. It was guidance. The quote not only affirmed my beliefs, but also my path… “change humankind one person at a time”… This was already my plan, and now here it was affirmed. Couldn’t be more beautiful.
At the time I had found it, I figured it was some ancient Egyptian text translated. I had no clue its true source until at least a year- if not more- later, after extending it to a friend who questioned its sources, tracking it down to channelings of the Law of One. I had no clue this beautiful piece of text was given to this earth by communication through a vessel. I bought the book and set it on my shelf with intentions to explore…
The book sat around a while. I had been taking my time reading Yuval Noah Harari’s “Sapiens”… I had no clue what else was waiting for me between the pages of this other book… but after finally finishing Sapiens somewhere at the beginning of the summer, I finally grabbed the Ra Material.
I cannot- I absolutely cannot- put into words all of the things that resonated with me through that 60-page foreword. I was stunned, but also comforted and grounded… The logic all lined up. My cosmic mind processed and accepted everything. I knew I had found the right source for my path. I knew I was miles upon miles closer toward catching the tail of the Truth.
And thus, here I am. And I’m invested, guys, so so much…
I need to learn as much as I can here. Through You. Together alongside You. To impart splendors of knowledge to anyone and everyone I can reach.
I know there’s 2 big group meditation events in the year, but also a seemingly smaller event every month in Asheville… I have plane tickets and travel accommodations coordinated to be there this coming month- November 6th. Just 2 weeks from now.
And it might seem rash… but I have the means, and I feel so insanely called to this…
So, I’ll see you there.
(Totally head over heels with the reception of my story… Definitely want to iterate that I’m only choosing my biological name over the other in the context of my presence in this community. I considered going by RK- and I will keep performing as RK separately- but amongst my beautifully intellectual and cosmic-minded peers, I am Allie )