Depression, Its Purpose and How to Use It?

Recently I have been asking here about catalyst and that sort of thing…and there is a reason for that.

I have cycled into another round of depression recently (I am not new to this) and it is lasting longer than usual. Just when I think I have “broken through” and I have a few lighter hours, I find myself at the bottom again soon.

Just as a note: I am not suicidal. I am MUCH too interested in seeing this life through and experiencing everything that happens through me, to me, and around me. I find it fascinating and intriguing despite the discomfort. And this is quite new to me because I used to feel harmful ways towards myself and hopeless when I would have these cycles. So, I know something has shifted…though I am not sure what because I am still feeling this low frequency.

However, I am being with it. I am allowing it. I am inquiring within about it…and I am not getting any answers. It doesn’t make sense.

I welcome this catalyst in a way that I never have before, wondering how it will be different if instead of fighting it or trying to change it I kind of sink into it.

I realize that RA has stated that this is not the density for understanding, and that’s okay, but I feel lost in this depression. Not to find a way out, but to maybe find some kind of purpose for it. What am I supposed to be learning?

There have been no clues left for me that I can see right now which is frustrating.

I have ZERO interest to do much of anything. All of my hobbies and the things I do for enjoyment feel flat and pointless.

I perceive that this is not “wrong” and that there is nothing to fix. I am not concerned for my mental health or what is going to happen. I know that all is well and all will continue to be well…which is the odd part.

How can I know that all is well and yet feel so “off”??? If I know all is well, wouldn’t I be feeling better, more joy?

Am I causing myself to stay depressed because I am inviting it and allowing it in case it has something to tell me?

Should I be trying to shift my frequency or should I just leave it be and let it naturally sort itself out? Will it sort itself out without my interference?

Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts, I am all ears!

I think that our consciousness is filtered and limited by the brain during most waking states. I find that spiritual wellness can be separate from brain wellness, sometimes. If your depression is a chemical issue, it can be possible, in my direct experience anyway, to lack bodily energy, feel a lack of interest, ect. But with an underlying paradoxical spiritual wellness, so you’ll have certain symptoms but not the specific cutting malaise that leads to giving up on life completely. It’s different than minor depression, hard to explain.

I’m not sure what depression has to teach besides serving as contrast. I’ve never found it useful in any way, but investigate if you wish. In your position, however, I’d work on bodily things that help depression. I’d try to stay away from taking prescription drugs daily as they virtually always have a lot of side effects and dependence that can take time to become apparent, as a last resort, only you know your situation. I’d try nutrition, sunshine, nature, companionship, ect. first. And if I did decide on drugs, I’d try a use or two of psychedelics or ketamine before getting dependent on whatever nonsense taking whatever daily that your psychiatrist will claim is benign but is usually numbing, physically addictive, and more dangerous than better things.

They say seasonal depression may have evolved to save energy during winter, so if you struggle with busyness usually… I guess it can teach how to be lazy and perhaps when to quit.

Feel better friend

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It’s actually sign of ‘awakening’.
A realization that “I am” not (only) that figure that I saw in the mirror.
“I am” however the one that is experiencing the events from the perspective of that figure that I saw in the mirror.

The feeling of ‘less interested’ in events or things which previously you labeled it as ‘joy’ is a normal sign of ‘having less attachment towards it’. Because previously things you labeled as ‘joy’ is the one all be all thing that you seek.

Does this description below relate to what you’re experiencing now?

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dear AAR,

just knowing that depression will end and it lifts off suddenly, is a good thing to remember…

I agree with everyone that being less interested is in itself a good sign.

I don’t feel I would have any advice for depression because I feel perhaps depression is just such a very personal thing.
The thing I know helped me in the past was to find gratitude, and gratitude would lift me suddenly out of depression, but again this was personal.

be well, friend

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I have a sense that this type of depression is not of chemical nature, say, from the brain.

I regularly exercise in a moderate (non-extreme) way. I get sun almost daily on as much as my skin as possible and during the winter months I take vitamin D. I do not smoke. I do not drink alcohol (apart from like one glass of wine during a holiday meal or something). I do not take prescription drugs at all. I am usually in bed by 9:00 p.m and wake up around 6:00 a.m. I sleep later when I don’t have to work or get my kid to school. I am outside in the grass and around trees daily in the summer, even in the rain. I have wonderful companionship with a handful of truly good friends/family and my husband and child. And I eat a generally good diet, mostly whole foods, and herbs with the occasional treat. I do not use recreational drugs either. I have tried cannabis at times but it hasn’t helped.

I have been to therapy several times and always found it a waste of time…no offense to those whom it helps. But I have always felt like I needed more than what they could offer me.

Thank you.
I know I will eventually, but I’m actually not all that concerned about it. I just want to know how to properly use this catalyst…and if it is some kind of awakening, as I am now leaning towards, then I am all in. :grin:


Both videos you shared were excellent!
Particularly the first one.

So much of that video resonated with me…nodding yes, yes, yes, through the whole thing as I listened.

Yes, that video did feel very much like what I feel like right now.

I am finding that after having listened to both videos, the depression has eased a little. Almost as if because I have a possible reason for it, it makes it a little more bearable.

My ego, however, is playing a lot of games with my mind. Fear of FULLY surrendering to the end of seeking in particular. I have been very attached to the “I am a spiritual seeker” label for decades of my life through religion and spirituality…and so ego gasps and says, “OMG! What are we going to do if we don’t seek anymore? What will happen to us if there is no goal to move towards? What is the point of all of this if we have no seeking to do?”

And with my creative expression or with business ideas, because I have no interest in them right now, my ego is terrified…“What if we never want to do any of those things again? What if all we do is make dinner, do laundry, go to work, and be a mother and wife? What will be the point of our existence if we have no desires? Will all desires just fade away and we’ll be depressed and pointless our whole life?”

I have made a previous post about desires…I am still finding it challenging to understand the point of having desires if we all will eventually come to a place where we realize there is nothing to seek, because all is within…because we ARE the life we seek…

And also, curious as to how to navigate life once this realization takes root within me deeper…I feel as if I am on the brink of total surrender…I don’t know if it will happen all at once or gradually, but it’s right there. I can feel it.

Once I do, how will I navigate my day-to-day life when I fully realize myself as the I AM? How will I reconcile the day-to-day activities that will then be knowingly pointless? How will I find joy in my day-to-day life that has no end goal?

What will keep me from laying on the living room floor all day long, zoned out, staring into nothing (which I have been doing a lot of lately), and being like a robot, just making the motions of living…will it always feel empty like this?

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Would you then have faith that this would/might be to the pleasure of Creator to ecoerience something new, through you ?

Just that sort of humbling part of giving this ?

You know there was a really interesting French writer between WW1 and WW2. He was a pilot during the thirties and a writer and he wrote the pretty well known little fairy tale book called the Little Prince. So his name was Antoine de St Exupery and as the French tenderly short-named him , St Ex.

So St,. Ex during tWW2 had this view of the war more as a pacifist , even though he went into combat as an older pilot. and in the end, despite admonitions from the RAF, took off for a flight at the very end of the war and disappeared , probably shot down by a German pilot.

The interesting thing is that in the later years of his life after having written several wonderful books, not just the Little Prince, but several wonderful books on what flying memories he had, before he disappeared, he had written an incredible number of pages of what was superficially a novel , but was in fact philosophical reflexions which in fact , for several pages , reflected incredibly great parallel toughs with the Ra Contact…

Those pages, he never had the opportunity to edit, were published on the desires of his wife, several years after his death.

The book is titled Citadelle and unfortunately is out of print in English. But it is an inamely beautiful poetic read, with several pages offering often the same similar thoughts, but still an extraordinary read, with a humanist and sort of buddhist detachment to them.

He conceived that future book as a collection of thoughts that in the Sahara desert, an old Bedouin Chief would transfer to his son newly in charge of the care for their Bedouin people. And there is a beautiful passage on love, that I tried ( vainly, lol ) to translate at best so here it is., because somehow it relates to our conversation here… lol
Bear with me for it is long, lol

" So it is of the empire, when a soldier owes it his life. It is not claim of the empire, but claim of God. He orders that man have a signification. And, the signification of that man is to be soldier of the empire.

And so it is with the sentinels who owe me the honors. I demand them, but retain nothing of them for myself. Through me, sentinels have obligations. I am the knot of the duty of the sentinels.

And so with love.

But if I meet the one who blushes and who stammers, and who needs presents to learn to smile, for they are to her sea winds and not capture, then I shall make myself path which releases her.

I shall neither humiliate myself nor humiliate her in love. I shall be around her like space and within her like time. I shall tell her : ‘. Do not hasten to know me, there is nothing to capture. I am space and time where to become,’

If she needs me like the seed of the soil to make itself tree, I shall not stifle her with my self importance.

I shall neither honor her for herself. I will scratch her harshly with the talons of love. My love to her will be eagle with powerful wings. And it’s not me she will discover, but through me, the valleys, the mountains, the stars, the gods.

It’s not about me. I am only the one who carries. It’s not about you : you are only path towards the meadows at sunrise. It’s not about us : we are together passage for God who borrows for an instant our generation and uses it. "

lol, I think it has a distinct little scent of Ra !!!

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The ‘goal’ is in the ‘experiencing’.
Thus the reason why speakers such as Spira, Tolle preaches about ‘being in the present/now’.

In Ra/Quo’s context (and also others such as Buddhism/Siddhartha) the end of the journey is the beginning. Ra/Quo named it as 8th density while Siddhartha named it as the state of Nirvana. (unifying back with the infinite)

Thus the ‘end goal’ is actually ‘already known’ and it’s NOT the point or the goal.
The point / goal is in the experiencing the journey back to to the end/beginning state.

It’s like watching a movie, reaching the final scene of the movie is not what ‘exciting’, it’s watching the events as it unfolds inside the movie is the ‘goal’ of watching the movie. Thus a ‘spoiler’ actually ruined the ‘excitement’ of experiencing a movie. As such; Ra/Quo and Siddhartha actually gives the audience a bit of a spoiler of ‘how the movie will end’.