*Please note that I am presenting the analysis of Love to Others from only Earth’s 3rd density perspective and please forgive any misused terminology.
I wanted to share a revelation that came to me just this morning. I was hoping by sharing then it may shed some light for some or at least ignite a spark of seeking and or conversation. My hypothesis is that the significant neutral polarity of Earth’s current 3rd density Beings, Entities, Individuals, Spirit/Mind/Body Complexes, etc., is related to not only their unawareness of the ultimate need for a conscious choice BUT a distortion of love to others. My focus will be on the distortion of love to others. Bear with me as I try to explain further:
We know that within 3rd density Light/Love Love/Light presents a negative and positive polarity. 3rd density Beings are supposed to choose between STS and STO prior to moving into 4th density. However, I perceive that within our 3rd density we have created a further distortion of love to others which may be deemed “conditional love” and “unconditional love”. From a strictly polarity reference, then one could conclude that conditional love is negatively polarized, and unconditional love is positively polarized. Specifically pertaining to conditional love, I do not believe this to be the case when it involves an STS individual. However, unconditional love to others is positively polarized. Conditional love is a bit more complex because even though it does seem to be negatively polarized, it aids the positive polarization of an STS Entity.
For Example: Take an individual, that in our current verbiage, would be considered narcissistic. Narcissistic tendencies coincide with STS polarity, however this individual also offers conditional love to others. Of course, conditional love to others encompasses conditions to give and or receive love and is not healthy/balanced. But the Narcissist views conditional love as the only type of love that they know, experienced, and understand. The fact that the Narcissist loves others, even if distorted, cannot be polarized as STS love. Therefore, the offering of conditional love creates a distortion which allows for neutrality to occur.
Ultimately, the individual who is choosing a STS oriented polarity and ALSO choosing to love others conditionally, will balance/neutralize the polarity. The same holds true for those who have chosen a STO oriented polarity but ALSO choose to love others conditionally. Basically, the understanding of love to others on Earth has distorted into the conditional love to others and the unconditional love to others.
I hope that what I have theorized will open positive and constructive discussions. Maybe this is an already known perspective among this community, but I would appreciate any feedback you might have. Thank you for allowing me to share!
Narcissism in and of itself is not descriptive of STS.
Rather, the negative polarity has its hallmark in controlling others for the benefit of the self.
Thank you @Patrick for your response. I greatly appreciate the Q’uo statements. I would like to note that I was not stating that Narcissim is in of itself STS but what we would consider as related to negative polarity…or as I mentioned “oriented” towards negative polarity. I apologize if it seemed that I was doing such for that was not my intention. It was just the best example I could think of. I do agree with “Rather, the negative polarity has its hallmark in controlling others for the benefit of the self”.
I think the “conditional” in the “conditional love” means that the love is given based on an expectation that the love will be given back(not necessarily from the person to whom the love has been given) and thus benefiting the self ultimately, so conditional love is essentially STS. I think the true STO is wishing others well because you wish others well, full stop.
What’s more, I think that everything that every being in every density can DO(in contrast with being) is to service, nothing more, nothing less, whether to the self or the other self.
I think the original idea is that everything is one, meaning other people are yourself. Thus if you wish yourself well, you would wish other people well too, which makes total sense.
And of course there are two different interpretations derived from the original idea that everything is one: STO and STS.
If someone really is narcissist (has a narcissistic personality disorder), he is not able to work at the level of the green ray center. So the only kind of love he can give to others and himself is the one at the level of the orange ray center.
If one assumes that he will do what he does naturally by allowing the energies of the orange ray to flow without blocking this energy, this will allow him to polarize positively at this level. However, working on himself due to his personality disorder will not allow him to touch the green ray center to open himself up to the possibility of moving to the 4th Density, the Density of Love.
Narcissism is not directly a description of STS, although the fact is that much of what narcissists do corresponds to STS. If we talk about the conditional love we share with someone, it will be equivalent to the fact that the love we give to someone will be at the orange ray center level, and it can take on positive or negative expression, while raising our level of polarity, to either side.
If this conditional love is love for our own child, with the fact that it will be based mainly on chemistry and blood ties, rather than on unconditional spiritual and mature love, it will be an example of a properly functioning orange ray center in positive polarity, but not green ray. This can take the following expression: A parent toward his child feels love at the level of the orange ray; he enjoys having a child, cares for child’s physicality, feeds, plays with; while he is limited to the orange ray he treats his child as an extension of his own genes and cares as if he were taking care of himself. Due to the fact that the green ray’s energy does not participate in this parent’s upbringing and development of the child, such a parent may lack acceptance of the child if child, for example, chooses something that the parent does not think will serve the child. For instance, the child will choose for himself a religion or a path of spiritual development, which will include work with the center of the green ray, which in the mind of the parent will be unnecessary and incomprehensible. The parent may turn away from the child in support of such choices. So to summarize. In the above example, we are dealing with working on the center of the orange ray in positive polarity to the exclusion of the center of the green ray.
And now the negative polarity. If the conditional love of the orange ray takes on bestowing love on someone, in order, for example, to gain the person’s favor with us, so that the person becomes more trusting of us and more open to our influence, which we can use to our advantage. This would be working on one’s orange ray in negative polarity. You can relate this to a situation where a parent is raising a child based on manipulation. He cares about child, but the influence only involves the parent manipulating his child into the kinds of choices the parent thinks the child should choose. Such a state of affairs not only involves a lack of acceptance of the child’s choices to choose to work on the green ray, but additionally may involve manipulating the child at the level of ordinary daily life, where the parent ceases to enjoy and care for his child as the child fends off parent’s manipulations. And parent increases its love and concern for the child when it behaves according to the will of such a negatively polarized parent.
To sum up. At the level of the orange ray center, one can crystallize positively and negatively. For someone with narcissistic personality disorder, positive crystallization may require additional psychological therapy. The level of the orange ray center can be compared to the lower emotional functions.
At the level of the green ray center, one can only crystallize positively. Someone who is normal (without personality disorder) and interested in negative polarity development may choose not to develop at the green ray level, he just skips it. Someone who has narcissistic personality disorder due to the influence of the disorder has no access to the green ray center at all and it not lay in his choice. The level of the green ray center corresponds to higher emotional functions and unconditional love, is goal of work by positively polarized person, and is beyond the reach of the personality disordered person and treated with ignorance by negatively polarized person.
This is of course just my interpretation. I hope that in some way it will contribute to a general understanding of issues related to working on emotions, discovering what love is and understanding the situation in which people with narcissistic personality disorder find themselves.
I would like to address the issue of work on the self and what Q’uo have said. I used to think about the question of where the necessary self-centeredness to make changes in oneself ends, and where too much self-centeredness begins.
And this is the kind of thing that came to my mind. If the Creator didn’t want us to focus on our own individuality, He wouldn’t have created these individual consciousnesses/personalities. Everything would play out solely from the One Creator’s perspective as cosmic consciousness.
However, it is different, it is the individuality that has been created. In that case, I believe that during my life as an individual, I should focus on this my own individuality. Doing it (focusing on myself) in the right way, of course.
I take to my heart the words of the Confederation, about living in the Density of Choice, and treat myself primarily in such a way that I am the binding point of two polarities that “fight” for their “influence”, in a sense.
Of course, I don’t think that literal polarities are fighting over me, they don’t represent themselves as anything but ideas for me, and it’s up to me to choose one of them. On the other hand, this way of presenting things allows me to manage my attention effectively.
The essence of this is that I focus all my attention on my own individuality and observe in myself these tendencies towards positivity as well as negativity. When I observe myself in this way, what is negative I try to stop and reject, and what is positive I try to choose and strengthen. I am the point of connection, I am the main center for my attention.
And only there, where I see and know myself, I can choose whether it will be love, service to others, empathy (all that corresponds to positive polarity) or whether it will be hate, self-serving, narcissism (negative polarity). I don’t treat the focus on myself as something that is narcissistic, only the choice of what is negative in me can reflect narcissism. However, from the mere focus on the self does not flow the choice of negative polarity. In fact, it is only by focusing on myself that I can consciously and confidently choose a positive polarity. I already start recognize the choice of positive polarity from a choice of what I think and imagine, already at this level I am choosing one of the polarities, at the level of my own mind.
I believe that what we really, really are able to influence in our lives is only us and the choice of our own polarity, not our future fate, nor the fate of the world or other people. We can only influence ourselves directly, if we influence others it is only indirectly. We are small ships on a big ocean. What will happen to these little ships and how the great ocean will treat us, whether it sinks us or pushes us further out into the beautiful waters, is what we attract with ourselves thanks to the small daily choices between choices reflecting service to others or service to self.
Even today, while walking my dog, I was thinking about not what I can do for the world and for others, but what directly affects me individually, and what I can do to choose what reflects positivity out of these two possible choices between positivity or negativity. If I choose what is positive, then to some degree, indirectly, I am choosing something that is beneficial to All, then support Creator and all of His parts. If I choose something that is negative then I am choosing something that serves Nothing.
This is my way of approaching to the work on the self, and I hope that to some extent it will contribute favorably to creating for all of you your own attitude to the work on the self. In accordance with your choices.
Thank you @K.K.33 ! I appreciate your thoughtful and detailed response. I felt that my initial post might have been a bit confusing or poorly communicated, however, your reply is along the lines of what I was trying to convey. I have read it several times and the orange and green rays in relation to conditional/unconditional love along with polarity adds a detail that I had not considered previously. Thank you for your insight and I would also like to thank everyone else for their responses as well!
As Ra said. 
Yes, I forgot that word “acknowledged”. yesterday when I was thinking about I was wondering what word that is in that sentence. Is it “received but declined” or what? Now I know.
thank you for posting this.