From the time where I could remember being in the arms of my grandparent. Enraptured by this strange and enchanting world.
As I Pushed my grandma away, but still grabbing onto her shirt tightly. My spirit is fearless, I was an elite scouting baby for my family. Meticulously scanning the horizon like a “Rigging Monkey,” and guided my elders to safety. Or perhaps to get away from a strange smell in the air,
“ah, right, there are horse-shite behind me.”
“What is this?” I said to myself, “why am I here?”
I understood nothing at the time, but a voice within me spoke and said,
To love? to love what? who? why? who are you? who am I?
Time went by, months, then years.
I grew and become fully part of my world. I knew nothing of the “outside,”
nothing beyond my own family and friends, and those around me.
I wrestled with life and with each moment that came my way. There always was a sense of serenity no matter where I went, no matter how difficult or fluffy a situation can get. I simply knew it was “meant” to be.
Yet, I felt a shadow behind me. It was sharp, it always stood two inches away. My innocent and rebellious attitude payed no mind to it.
Until one day, I realized, it rode on my right side.
I joined the Armed Force as soon as I could, fought, and discovered my humanity. I became rigid, strict, and literally was a living plank.
The military brotherhood has taught me many lifelong skills.
As much as the trade and profession helped me to understand how to hone the primal nature of man.
I understood that it was merely a tool to aid my mission here, and to protect my physical vessel from the challenges to come.
Out from a hasty and adolescent decision, it became one of the most invaluable experience for this incarnation of mine.
Outside of my service to man, to this country, I’ve found other groups of brotherhoods.
I slowly began to remember the lessons in wisdom. The ebb and flow, to not force things, to allow creation to flow down the stream of awareness no matter how beautiful, or “ugly” it gets.
Eager to learn, I went through countless lessons and trials. Sometime, I would even begged for it to stop, as it was too much to bear for one life time.
Yet, Invictus… my friends, Invictus.
The reward for my die-hard seeking? Death,
The final lesson of wisdom in my seeking was to “let go,” and to understand my own limitation as an entity of this illusion.
Overexerting my body one day, it began to fail. I just knew I was going to die that day.
When it is your time, you simply just “know.” There are no real explanation behind it,
I just didn’t know it was one of the many “reminders” I have placed before coming here.
As I sat under a walnut tree and pleaded for my life, not fully knowing why or how I wronged the “gods” for me to receive this “punishment.”
I thought I was a “heathen,” because I followed no religions, nor believed that there was an old man in the sky. Blinded by my own hubris and my own version of reality.
Soon, the voice said, “stop breathing.”
As a medic, I knew if I would listen to this “voice” and stop breathing, then I will immediately go into cardiac arrest, and say “bye bye” to this short life of mine.
Yet, the voice sat with me patiently until I let go of fear and stopped looking for a way out, stopped trying. I stopped clinging onto what I “believe,” and let go.
Then I saw a “string” in the darkness, enough for me to hold onto, but not too tightly.
Suddenly, like walking through a thick fog, I was in a light… warm… loving… non-judgmental.
Like waking up from the best nap ever,
I remembered, we remembered. Everything made sense to the observer within me.
Yet, it was unexplainable, nor did we needed to explain it to anyone.
The best protection we can provide to other-selves is the unknown itself, the veil.
Still, the mind needed more answers. Even when the spirit is satisfied, the mind still seeks for more.
On a day when the mind is calmed by lsd. Those of Ra, our brothers, they tried to make contact.
Without rhyme or reason, in middle of an intense acid trip, something made me feel compelled to stare into a mirror.
I did not recognize myself and what came out of my mouth was, “I am Ra.”
I was spooked, my cat was spooked. I immediately looked away and told my cat
“no no! it’s me! it’s me!” because he also didn’t recognize who I was for a moment.
Unfortunately, the distortion of this vessel leaned towards fear, due to the nature of what it did not understand.
The contact immediately broke, and I felt that “they” weren’t trying to scare me, they only wanted to relay a message.
This incident eventually helped me realize what I experienced when I came across the Ra materials, when I read… “I am Ra” from Carla’s channeling.
I said to myself at the time, “hmm, weird, a coincidence?”
A series of catalysts followed after, and left a great deal of knowledge and re-discovery for the vessel to make sense of what it didn’t understood.
The Ra Materials, The Kybalion, The Oahspe, and many more, all came from one coincidence to the next.
From a random recommendation from a neighbor, who doesn’t even read the materials themselves. To the names of books that came to mind, from no sources or point of reference.
Just random events that made no sense at first. But yet, they all happened timely.
The Garden will be a place for other-selves to further their choice in the service of positive polarity.
To increase harvest for those who do not need to revisit another illusion.
When this garden is complete, our mission is done.
“Why are you being cryptic, they are not going to get it.”
I ask myself this, and to the reader of this post, the voice simply said… “They will.”
I feel this is all that I can speak of at this moment.
Here is a drawing I made when I was very young.
I was exploring my artistic talent, the name of this piece, the colors and style were all expression of how I felt at that time.
Now, I remember that this is a flag I have placed. To remind myself in my wandering.
To be able to find my way home, no matter how far… or close.