Marriage within the context of the Law of One

Seekers often wonder how a marital relationship fits within the context of the Law of One.

Our societies are too often set up in a way that does not promote acceptance. Marriage is often seen as enchaining yourself to your spouse and maybe even owning them somehow.

Within the context of Confederation philosophy we have an opportunity to look at marriage in a different light. For those of us walking the path of service-to-others, we would do well to look at the relationship through the lens of acceptance, forgiveness and freedom (free will). We and our spouse both freely enter into a program of service towards each other.

Of course, we do not own our other half, nor should we wish to. It is also important to accept that your spouse may very well not see these things through the lens of Confederation philosophy. Too often we take for granted all sorts of things, such as expecting exclusivity in terms of body and soul. But instead, that sort of thing should always be discussed at the beginning of the relationship. What are your expectations?

Managing our expectations is critical. For example, at the beginning of my current relationship, I was not aware of Confederation philosophy. Although, based on a previous marriage that had ended in a divorce, I was aware of the importance of not taking anything for granted, including what to expect of a relationship. My new friend and I both agreed that we had no claims on the other, that we were to be friends with benefits basically.

With the years flying by, our relationship evolved and this highlights the importance of revisiting our expectations from time to time. We developed a desire to enter into a more demanding program of service. My other half developed a desire for me to be exclusive to her both in terms of body and in terms of romantic love. Also, by that time I had discovered Confederation philosophy and this was already coloring every choices I was making. I felt that her request was perfectly fine with me. Although, I made it clear that I did not have such expectations for her. I want her to be completely free in all ways possible. 3 years ago we got married and again even in the context of wedding vows, I made it clear that she was to always remain free. We are keeping ourselves close to each other by choice alone, not because it is what is expected of us, not because we are married, not for financial reasons, but only because it is truly what we both wish at this time. There is still a level of co-dependency that exists, but it is really very mild. Indeed, I wonder if having absolutely no co-dependency whatsoever is even possible while incarnated in third density?

Unintuitive as this may seem, this freedom my wife enjoys only seems to bring her closer to me all the time. She does not seem interested in the least in making use of it in terms of sexuality or romantic love. She may very well be having a double life with someone else, but if so it is working wonders for her and our relationship. While on my side I do not feel restrained in the least because all my needs and expectations are met by her. Of course, it helps that I do not have many needs or expectations. :slight_smile:

These are all beautiful sentiments, but it is important to realize that each of us will handle these with varying degrees of skillfulness. It really is a question of intentions. If you have the intention of manifesting those ideals, then basically you have already succeeded. Because the rest is only a matter of time. It seems to me that it has little to do with how advanced we are on our spiritual road. Instead, we seem to pre-incarnatively set this up in a way that we will have to develop a desire to increase our faith in order to then discover those ideals and their helpfulness in our experience and that of all others we interact with.

That’s lovely Patrick…. And… different levels of skillfulness is an excellent comment… :joy: