The higher self deals with its reflection in the third density with intense love and firmness at the same time because it was sent for a specific role. It interacts with and summons it according to its own desires, not according to the wishes of the incarnate personality. The role of the incarnate wanderer is always to surrender and be content with themselves and with the higher self.
As our friend mentioned in the previous comment, the higher self views all creatures as children needing care, but it only provides that care to those who ask for it. It greatly respects the free will of creatures in choosing their paths. Although it sees them as children, it considers them responsible for their choices and wants them to know that they are responsible and capable of choosing love for their own benefit.
The spiritual seeker following the higher self is literally a child at some stage. Every spiritual seeker on the path is a dearly beloved child at some point if they have a role with the incarnate personality. At a later stage, when it knows its child has matured enough, it lets them take full responsibility—that they are the creator and must choose and act alone at every moment. They know they are not alone in the true sense, but the communications are not as they think. Many times, when I was in intense longing, even in childhood, the voice would come strongly: “Not now. Your role on Earth is not over.” It is firm and does not respond to my tears and wailing.
The longing to return is intense and terrifying beyond imagination. It literally burns you. Nevertheless, it only responds to what it wants to do.
I learned this the hard way. There were times I objected and screamed loudly that I objected and had the right to object to some events. When I could see it through my objections, it smiled at me. Often, when I speak in a funny way, I see it laughing with me and encouraging me to continue.
Recently, the message I received is to be joyful most of the time and to add joy to whatever I do as much as possible. Keep searching and empowering.
Previously, my communication with it was more through constant guidance. I felt it at the back of my head. Its voice came from there. I felt like a puppet being moved by strings. Now, I sometimes feel it has left me and abandoned me, but I know that’s not true. It just wants me to act alone and trust myself more here.
It did not change its way of communicating with me until it told me that I am the creator in many ways. I still find the concept difficult. Even after experiencing being the creator, fear and shock emerged that I never expected.
After three years of that experience, I am finally starting to overcome the shock and fears related to being the creator.
I am often surprised at myself because I dive into it so deeply. The amount of contradiction in this experience at this level of depth is literally terrifying. You will play the role of the creator and the creature, the worshiper and the worshiped, the weak and the strong, the one who has everything and the one who literally has nothing.
You must know how to act according to all these contradictions that you are aware of.
Sometimes I live the feeling and its opposite at the same moment. The idea and its opposite. I know and I don’t know. I understand and I don’t understand. I feel completely crazy. The only thing that helps me is having a friend with me on the journey from the beginning, who has experiences somewhat similar to mine. We talk a lot together, and this makes me trust myself again.
I know that communicating with the higher self is very interesting to you, but believe me, everyone currently in this density is suffering in various ways, each person according to their experience. Everyone suffers. For me, although I know I have reached advanced stages of experiencing higher emotions, it was all a trap for me to surrender completely to it, and then the battle began through me.
Sometimes I feel like a vacuum cleaner used to cleanse the collective consciousness and clean others around it. I know this is not true and that it’s my choice, and it is literally me. But I am telling you some of the few parts that a wanderer from a higher density might go through. Did you see the contradiction I live in? I am trying more and more to reconcile it with each other. Talking is easy and thinking is sometimes easy, but the contradictory emotions and allowing two different kinds of feelings to pass through you is the hardest part. Emotions, when they come with chaotic thoughts and getting lost within those thoughts, are harder and harder.
The feeling of complete loss of meaning is painful. The feeling of separation after tasting that kind of connection is extremely annoying, no matter how much you try to accept it, you can’t always. The headache attacks that come to download new energies through me and open terrifying pathways. The huge attacks I experience in my head, causing pain, I recently overcame by knowing extreme self-love compared to all those negatively self-loving beings attacking me. I know they attack me for my service and the service of the creator within me.
This is just a small part of what I go through, my friends. I wanted to share some of it with you, hoping it benefits those who read it and brings comfort to what I am going through. I know that in writing this, I am trying to be the exhausted victim of the journey. I lovingly allow this personality to exist through me until those feelings end and I regain my balance again.
Praise be to God always and forever, in every moment and in every place. He is the only existence and there is no existence except through Him.
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